Are Kids nonnegotiable (1 Viewer)

[raymondchouku]

If your partner didn't want kids would that be a reason to end the relationship for you? Conversely if you don't want kids would a partner who did want kids be nonnegotiable?

Personally, I have strong beliefs that are backed by empirical evidence that shows what is best for children and I have no interest in living within a nuclear family. That and I don't see myself wanting to take away from time that I currently spend on myself. Not that I don't like kids, but I took a role in raising a family member in my youth and I just really didn't like it. lol..

But anyways your thoughts?

 

[Hoemantic]

If your partner didn't want kids would that be a reason to end the relationship for you?

Yeah. It's as valid as any other reasons to leave a relationship. If someone isn't happy anymore because their partner doesn't want kids, it's okay they leave. Follow your heart, your happiness is more worth it than forcing yourself to stay with someone and try to please them.

 

[Wingfrost]

I probably wouldn’t stay in the relationship if my partner wanted something that I didn’t, it just wouldn’t be fair to them I think.

 

[daesuki]

it depends. i think if you want kids but you're fine with not having them, or vice versa, then I don't see a problem with staying with a partner who is the opposite. agreeing and having the same view on everything is impossible. As long as you work it out then I think its fine.

however, if you can't see a future you that will be happy with having/not having kids, then I think it can be a reason to break it off. like I want kids. undeniably so. at some point in my life I will have kids even if I need to be single while doing so. so if my partner absolutely does not want kids with no exceptions I would break it off.

 

[Jimimis]

my dream is to be a housewife in the perfect nuclear family. so, yes, I need kids

 

[raymondchouku]

my dream is to be a housewife in the perfect nuclear family. so, yes, I need kids

yes. I believe I remember you saying that your goal in going to college was to get your M.R.S.

 

[Jimimis]

yes. I believe I remember you saying that your goal in going to college was to get your M.R.S.

my biggest fan confirmed

 

[brekker]

it would be probably unfair to see the future differently. unless we were both chill with a short-term relationship

 

[raymondchouku]

my biggest fan confirmed

you have fans... okay.. sure.

 

[Haiku]

I don't plan on having kids, so I would be fine if my partner didn't want/have kids... On the other hand, it is tricky. I have this big fear of having kids and my partner will abandon me/not put in the same work to raise them. I've heard many horror stories of women basically being the ones to raise the kids and take care of the house/work, while their partner just sits on their ass. Or when they have kids, their partner suddenly decides to check out of the marriage/relationship and they end up single parents. One of my worst nightmares... That is probably where my stance on kids stem from.

 

[Mew]

I would say so yeah. Although things do change over time and things do happen unexpectedly.
But if you aren't on the same page about something crucial as kids or no kids then it's difficult further down the line.

Personally if I were to enter a new relationship, they would have to understand that its not a question of just not wanting children (I already have one, I don't want
Anymore) it's also the fact that biologically I can't anymore... The latter can be harder to deal with as for some people the potential of wanting kids can change over time but biological it's not a possibility with me , so they would have to be more than sure kids is not what they want. (I would glady adopt but I don't want anymore either lol) for some reason it's seems having the option of having kids or not seems a viable rather not being able to have them at all. I mean I've struggled with that myself despite not wanting more, not have a choice with it kinda sucks tbh.

Something similar happened to my exe's mother actually, although she was still biologically capable at the time she just didn't want anymore. she was dating a dude about 10 years younger for a while give or take for about 10 years, she never wanted anymore children as she had 2 fully grown ones already, and during that time they were in that whole relationship they had both agreed kids weren't on the cards and were very firm about it.... However towards the last year of their relationship, he had changed his mind, so he ended the relationship despite how much he did love her, she was really devastated as it was such a long time being together but she did say she knew it might be a issue at some point but it took 10 years to arrive, she understood but was completely heart broken.

 

[eclipsoul]

yes, i don't want kids and if someone really does then i wouldn't want to take something that's important to them away from their life. same goes the other way, i wouldn't want to have kids only because my partner wants because no child deserves to have a parent that didn't want them and well that would be me.

 

[Tickita]

If one of us don't want kids, why are we together? I'd break up if they wanted kids, even if they say they would be fine without them.

 

[Abeamus]

I don't think kids are ever something you can negotiate on as it's such a big thing to make a decision and that will change your life whichever way you decide.

I am in a difficult spot though myself as if I would be comfortable having kids or not would depend on not only being in a relationship I feel comfortable enough with but also being at a spot in my life where I'm capable enough too.

Kids are ultimately a huge decision which you should be prepared for monetarily, mentally, emotionally and physically as ultimately you're dedicating 18 years of your own life to look after someone elses in a way that nothing else in life will challenge you.

 

[athenaaa]

Personally I don’t plan on having kids, so it would be nice if my partner was on the same page. It may not be grounds for ending the relationship right away but I am just not sure how good it would be long term if their future goals don’t align

 

[Michael]

I used to want kids; but that's no longer the case since long ago.

Spoiler

 

[PWSwan]

I can't have kids any more, so I'd be out of there.

 

[Ahsoka]

Yeah if my partner wanted kids then that would be a major problem imo, kids are too big of a responsibility and commitment for me. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive them of kids so I’m the long term it wouldn’t work out.

 

[raymondchouku]

Yeah if my partner wanted kids then that would be a major problem imo, kids are too big of a responsibility and commitment for me. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive them of kids so I’m the long term it wouldn’t work out.

+1.

It really is something that should be discussed prior to any serious commitment. It'd be a shame to be in a 7-year relationship and find out the other person wanted kids... lol