yeah i can be shy, more than shy i guess the word nervous fits more? yeah, nervous. that's really more around situations where i don't know too many people ofc. i remember this party i went to, it was a popular kid's party and i was nervous the whole time, it was full of people i didnt know, and even now i sometimes beat myself up for not socializing more - as if i'd socialize more today! after crying a whole lot in the bathroom because i had no effing clue on what to do, i got out, and sat near the snacks. there i found two people i sort of knew, and we just... talked. it was fun with them honestly, because i didn't have to interact with everyone at the party, but i wasn't a sad loner lol. and even if i'm critical towards my past self, i still think the whole situation worked out well
but even when i'm around people i know, i sometimes just like to sit on the side and quietly observe, kinda like a wallflower. most of the times you will catch me having fun with my friends, but sometimes all i want to do is sit on the side, sip my drink, read a book maybe, and observe. i get worn out with all the social interaction ngl. i suppose that's just the person i am. it's honestly a good thing my friends accept that ngl, otherwise i'd have been thrown out of too many parties