Have you ever removed someone from your life? (1 Viewer)

[Administrator2]

I am currently in a situation where I am trying to erase every trail of someone from my life, because it hurts to know that they used to be a big part of it.

Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? Did you ever want to forget someone so badly, but just couldn't? How would you cope with it?

 

[dark_tranquility]

A girl and a few guys. I tend not to think on how much they hurt me and how much a waste of time befriending them was.

 

[Abeamus]

I have and the best way I found to do that is to cut off contact completely and then focus on yourself so that you don't think about checking up on them or anything.

 

[kodoku]

aw markie moo sorry you are dealing with this, hope things get better soon <3

as for me yeah definitely, I've always been surrounded with toxic people.. even now, there are several people I wanna be free from and situations that are killing me but idk how to get out of...... the best thing to do in my opinion is to stay away, not ask about them, not follow their social media or whatever people do. Focus on yourself, your life, improvement, new experiences, things and people that make you happy. The worst thing is to lock yourself up in your room and just be alone and dwell trust me

 

[Willow]

I did and more than once

 

[mysteric]

cut them off, block them on sns, don’t leave any room for them to come back into your life

 

[Ashla_K]

Yes and more than once. Blocking them from any social media works the best, I even blocked their phone numbers so they can't call me and I do not respond to any call that I can't identify.
It's difficult at the beginning but you get used to it, esp. when you feel you're gaining control and confidence in yourself again.

 

[izcream]

ngl i wish i had the courage to remove someone entirely from my life but i'm a coward

 

[Tickita]

A guy. I deleted his # and unfollowed him on IG. And deleted a picture of us I had on my phone. Since then I've changed numbers and deleted all of my socials, but those were for unrelated reasons.

 

[daesuki]

Yeah. I blocked them on everything and deleted every conversation I've had with them. I can't completely remove them from my life because Unfortunately, I see them around sometimes, and they're in my friend's feeds, but I don't think about them and I avoid them as much as I can.

 

[JimmyBacon]

Yeah! Some bad friends

 

[Hajima]

Yes but random guys who consistently annoyed me so I had to block them, and 2 old friends.

 

[QueenB]

I had friends I knew for 12+ years but as we had gotten older I realized that we were all very different people and I didn't enjoy being around them anymore. Honest to god got anxiety before hanging out with them cause they were just jerks to me and I dealt with it because I valued our friendship. I told them all I didn't want to have contact with them anymore and blocked their numbers and all social media.

It sucks because I can never totally erase them because they were such a big part of my life for a long time. I get memories from Facebook and photos of them still, hell i'm still friends with some of their parents which feels even weirder lol.

 

[AmysTeri]

Yes. I agree with others.

For me, I cut contact completely with them. No texts, no phone calls, no social media. We had mutual friends, but I didn't let my feelings about that person influence my relationship with them (and most of them afforded me the kindness of not trying to bridge that gap and/or maintained separate friendships).

The hardest part is the routine. When you're so used to someone being in your life and used to being in a relationship with that person, it's easy to want to fall back into the routine, reach out to them, think about them, think about what they would say about a situation you're in, think about the places you've been and things you want to do with them. But, truly, distance is the key. As time goes on, you fill in those time slots originally reserved for that person for other things and/or people. Don't cling to or become dependent on those things/people, but have another outlet for your time and energy. As time goes on, the emotions and time you spent thinking of that person will just be a memory.

Even today, there are people that I've cut off in my past that I think about. Back then, thinking about them would send me into a spiral of "what if's" and "remember when" and "I wish that..." Especially if you're an introvert and left to your thoughts too often. You'll just cycle memories and hurt over and over again. I remember those days. I don't miss them. Today when I think of them, it's with a tinge of nostalgia if not just a hazy memory from my personal history. I don't dwell on it. It's like a vapor -- here and then gone.

So for now, this means shit all because you're in the beginning stages and your emotions are raw...but that's the best I can give you -- delete, new outlets, and distance.

 

[Yili]

Most of the ones I have cut off have been online friends so it's a bit easier to block them from your life, but I know it's still hard to go through so do what's the best for you!

 

[jasque]

Yeah, some people weren't necessary in my life.

Specially one that kept insisting for something I said I wasnt interested in already.

 

[Saythename17]

Yes, I had to, last year. But I decided to forgive that person

 

[Administrator2]

A girl and a few guys. I tend not to think on how much they hurt me and how much a waste of time befriending them was.

Apparently I was the one who was hurting them. And what hurts the most is that I had no such intention.

I have and the best way I found to do that is to cut off contact completely and then focus on yourself so that you don't think about checking up on them or anything.

I am in no position to check up on them though, because they say they want to keep in touch but I can't do that because it hurts so much knowing they meant a lot more than just "keep in touch"

aw markie moo sorry you are dealing with this, hope things get better soon <3

as for me yeah definitely, I've always been surrounded with toxic people.. even now, there are several people I wanna be free from and situations that are killing me but idk how to get out of...... the best thing to do in my opinion is to stay away, not ask about them, not follow their social media or whatever people do. Focus on yourself, your life, improvement, new experiences, things and people that make you happy. The worst thing is to lock yourself up in your room and just be alone and dwell trust me

This is a great advice and that's exactly what I have been doing. It's just that all comes back to me at night when I go to bed and cry myself to sleep regularly.

I did and more than once

How did you deal with it?

cut them off, block them on sns, don’t leave any room for them to come back into your life

What if you want them back in your life? Also, I cut out pretty much everyone, I no longer have any type of sns, I even changed my phone number, only my mother has it as well as a few work colleagues.

Yes and more than once. Blocking them from any social media works the best, I even blocked their phone numbers so they can't call me and I do not respond to any call that I can't identify.
It's difficult at the beginning but you get used to it, esp. when you feel you're gaining control and confidence in yourself again.

Like I said above, I no longer have social media so that's not an issue. I don't think I can block their phone number because secretly I want them to contact me. You got that right, it's difficult. My entire life changed because of it.

A guy. I deleted his # and unfollowed him on IG. And deleted a picture of us I had on my phone. Since then I've changed numbers and deleted all of my socials, but those were for unrelated reasons.

Did pretty much all of the above and more, but still hurting.

Yeah. I blocked them on everything and deleted every conversation I've had with them. I can't completely remove them from my life because Unfortunately, I see them around sometimes, and they're in my friend's feeds, but I don't think about them and I avoid them as much as I can.

So you don't get triggered by emotions, then?

Yeah! Some bad friends

Were you close? How do you cope with that?

Yes but random guys who consistently annoyed me so I had to block them, and 2 old friends.

I mean, if people annoyed you I guess that's kind of a good block, this is a block that I don't want to happen, but it's useless to try and do anything about it.

I had friends I knew for 12+ years but as we had gotten older I realized that we were all very different people and I didn't enjoy being around them anymore. Honest to god got anxiety before hanging out with them cause they were just jerks to me and I dealt with it because I valued our friendship. I told them all I didn't want to have contact with them anymore and blocked their numbers and all social media.

It sucks because I can never totally erase them because they were such a big part of my life for a long time. I get memories from Facebook and photos of them still, hell i'm still friends with some of their parents which feels even weirder lol.

This is exactly it. I already have the SNS part done, but the dumb thing is they are still close to my mom, they even saw each other recently.

Yes. I agree with others.

For me, I cut contact completely with them. No texts, no phone calls, no social media. We had mutual friends, but I didn't let my feelings about that person influence my relationship with them (and most of them afforded me the kindness of not trying to bridge that gap and/or maintained separate friendships).

The hardest part is the routine. When you're so used to someone being in your life and used to being in a relationship with that person, it's easy to want to fall back into the routine, reach out to them, think about them, think about what they would say about a situation you're in, think about the places you've been and things you want to do with them. But, truly, distance is the key. As time goes on, you fill in those time slots originally reserved for that person for other things and/or people. Don't cling to or become dependent on those things/people, but have another outlet for your time and energy. As time goes on, the emotions and time you spent thinking of that person will just be a memory.

Even today, there are people that I've cut off in my past that I think about. Back then, thinking about them would send me into a spiral of "what if's" and "remember when" and "I wish that..." Especially if you're an introvert and left to your thoughts too often. You'll just cycle memories and hurt over and over again. I remember those days. I don't miss them. Today when I think of them, it's with a tinge of nostalgia if not just a hazy memory from my personal history. I don't dwell on it. It's like a vapor -- here and then gone.

So for now, this means shit all because you're in the beginning stages and your emotions are raw...but that's the best I can give you -- delete, new outlets, and distance.

This is such a great post because I can relate so much to it. Unfortunately, we do have mutual friends, but I cut contact with them as well, as I am not really willing to do the double agent gameplay here. I guess time heals all wounds, so all I have to do is suffer and wait, then I'll suffer a bit less.

Yes, I had to, last year. But I decided to forgive that person

I'm in no position to forgive, they did nothing (that) wrong. I guess it was just a lack of understanding the needs of each other.

 

[Abeamus]

Apparently I was the one who was hurting them. And what hurts the most is that I had no such intention.



I am in no position to check up on them though, because they say they want to keep in touch but I can't do that because it hurts so much knowing they meant a lot more than just "keep in touch"


This is a great advice and that's exactly what I have been doing. It's just that all comes back to me at night when I go to bed and cry myself to sleep regularly.



How did you deal with it?



What if you want them back in your life? Also, I cut out pretty much everyone, I no longer have any type of sns, I even changed my phone number, only my mother has it as well as a few work colleagues.




Like I said above, I no longer have social media so that's not an issue. I don't think I can block their phone number because secretly I want them to contact me. You got that right, it's difficult. My entire life changed because of it.



Did pretty much all of the above and more, but still hurting.



So you don't get triggered by emotions, then?



Were you close? How do you cope with that?



I mean, if people annoyed you I guess that's kind of a good block, this is a block that I don't want to happen, but it's useless to try and do anything about it.


This is exactly it. I already have the SNS part done, but the dumb thing is they are still close to my mom, they even saw each other recently.



This is such a great post because I can relate so much to it. Unfortunately, we do have mutual friends, but I cut contact with them as well, as I am not really willing to do the double agent gameplay here. I guess time heals all wounds, so all I have to do is suffer and wait, then I'll suffer a bit less.




I'm in no position to forgive, they did nothing (that) wrong. I guess it was just a lack of understanding the needs of each other.

You don't have to keep in touch if you don't want to and should just explain that it's too hurtful for you to just be friends because you want more.

As for the recovery phase then yeah it will take a while even possibly months but the key is to not sit around and linger on it and instead focus on yourself and how you can improve whether it's exercising your body or your mind.

You shouldn't focus too much on what happened except where things went wrong and how you can improve to avoid it happening again

 

[Willow]

I have blocked them on my sns @notthatmarko