Hi ............. (1 Viewer)

[seungfloral]

I just wanted to get something off my chest, because it's that kind of day. If u don't wanna get ur day or night ruined do not read , ig.

Spoiler: Spoiler

I just feel like i'm in a trap that i set for myself and that i can't get out of. I'm 27 and live with my parents. Since childhood i was a good student, liked to read and study and loved to get praise for it. When i finished high school as the first in my class my aunts and uncles thought i would become a lawyer or doctor. But i really only liked English (i'm from a non english speaking country) so i enrolled in a literature major and korean minor. My parents always encouraged me in everything and i managed to get my grades as good as to not have to pay tuition. But i was mostly average in English and a beginner in korean. I also failed to sign up for pedagogic lessons in year one, for not noticing the deadline early enough so i couldnt sign up anymore all through the three years. I only finished my BA thesis a half a year later after college, and then my mom got sick and i helped her a while. When she got better i had no idea where i should work, since there wasnt many opportunities in my area for english speakers, only teaching, which i obviously suck at. I managed to get a phone job at a local company, not the best pay, but managable for me living at home. It's a desk job, so my unhealthy lifestyle combined with it made me gain weight over the years, which also ruined my confidence. I don't have any real close friends who message me daily , weekly, not even monthly. When i try to message them , they all tell me i should message them more often and then they never do until i try again. My love life is horrible too since i always ruin it, i can't move to a serious relationship cause i'm afraid they will realise how basically worthless and nothing i am inside. My parents encouraged me to get my driving license, but i said i was afraid to drive. It is true, but i'm mostly afraid to fail them once again, and have to get me back from the ground. I'm 27 , everyone around me has a family, a house on their own, a respectable job and kids. While i'm here ruining mine. I mostly make friends online with kpop fans, which sometimes helps me forget reality. But they usually last approximetely a year or so too, cause then they also realize how much i complain, how i bring nothing new to the table anymore. My brother has his own family too, they have a nephew, and now i can't really tell my parents about my struggles either. My mom is taking care of my nephew while my sister in law went back to work. They have enough on their plate. I sometimes told them i wanna switch work places or move out, but they discourage me and tell me this is the best place for me. It is a chill workplace, but i basically don't do anything to improve myself. It's honestly feels like i'm a failure. My friend who we sometimes talk and she works at the same company , she didn't even finish highschool and still gets paid more than i do. I basically feel like a waste of space and air.
But i'm not suicidal or anything. Just .. that's it exactly. I'm just there, it doesn't feel like i'm living at all, just existing.

 

[kimsguardian]

hey i feel you, for real. i'm over 30 & almost 5 years active on online forums. so lemme send you a virtual hug~
you know that you're doing great right ?

 

[seungfloral]

hey i feel you, for real. i'm over 30 & almost 5 years active on online forums. so lemme send you a virtual hug~
you know that you're doing great right ?

Thanks, trying. Sending u hugs too

 

[ChiaraStar169]

idk what the spoiler says bc I don't want my day to be ruined lol but judging from what Kims said, I have to say that I'm ten years your senior and still go on forums. Hell, Yachii is 58 and he comes on here a lot! Forums have no age max.

 

[Day]

Spoiler

I'm very sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. You can still decide to make changes in your life, you're still very young and the fact that society asks young kids to decide what to do with their lives so young is the reason why the mid-life crisis exists. Being trapped may mean you're experiencing burnout or it's possible you have been for years now. You should start small, do things that used to make you happy. If English brought you joy, did you write for fun? When was the last time you picked up a good book? What about the books you read years ago that meant a lot to you? Do you like drawing or painting? You could buy a small canvas and just paint whatever you feel.

If you haven't taken your drivers test, have you taken driver's education? I don't know how it is in Romania but the class that you take to study the road signs/laws and practice driving with an instructor before you actually take the test? That would be a good place to start when you feel more ready to tackle that challenge. If you've already taken it, you may be able to google what would be on the test to get a good starting point. However, if you're 27 and haven't needed the drivers license this far, there's nothing stopping you from waiting until you actually do need it or until you feel ready for it. If you fail the test, you can redo it. You have to take up space to try, so don't feel bad for doing so.

Regarding relationships (romantic), you should focus on yourself in order to curve your insecurities projecting. If you want to spend time with someone and enjoy their company but you only think "am I annoying them?" then are you really able to enjoy that time together or are you just stressing yourself out? A good place to start looking is at a point of passion. What do you enjoy? What do you advocate for? What do you absolutely hate? These are starting questions you may be able to ask yourself to gauge what you feel. Acknowledge everything you've done this far. You graduated high school and you finished college. Great job!! You've worked really hard for a really long time, and that is absolutely amazing!! Once you've come to love a bit of yourself, you should have an easier time making connections with people as you can communicate more effectively.

Regarding friendships, I empathize with you. It's really hard to meet new people and build new friendships once you hit the 20s and you have to break into other people's existing friendships or friendships from high school. Like I mentioned earlier, I'd say start at a point of passion or hatred. You like Stray Kids, many people on this forum also like them!! You like Lee Hi, so does my wife!! It may be true that online friends dwindle after a few years, but was it a good time while it lasted? I feel like life is one where everything is temporary but as long as you have a good time and enjoy the nice moments you won't have to say you have regrets. My discord is always open if you need to rant or someone to listen to you, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. You're a strong person, Seungfloral

I'm also going to tag @litc who advocates journaling, because she's more passionate about it than me. It may be a good way to help you feel more like yourself and also get in touch with your feelings.

 

[litc]

Spoiler

I'm very sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. You can still decide to make changes in your life, you're still very young and the fact that society asks young kids to decide what to do with their lives so young is the reason why the mid-life crisis exists. Being trapped may mean you're experiencing burnout or it's possible you have been for years now. You should start small, do things that used to make you happy. If English brought you joy, did you write for fun? When was the last time you picked up a good book? What about the books you read years ago that meant a lot to you? Do you like drawing or painting? You could buy a small canvas and just paint whatever you feel.

If you haven't taken your drivers test, have you taken driver's education? I don't know how it is in Romania but the class that you take to study the road signs/laws and practice driving with an instructor before you actually take the test? That would be a good place to start when you feel more ready to tackle that challenge. If you've already taken it, you may be able to google what would be on the test to get a good starting point. However, if you're 27 and haven't needed the drivers license this far, there's nothing stopping you from waiting until you actually do need it or until you feel ready for it. If you fail the test, you can redo it. You have to take up space to try, so don't feel bad for doing so.

Regarding relationships (romantic), you should focus on yourself in order to curve your insecurities projecting. If you want to spend time with someone and enjoy their company but you only think "am I annoying them?" then are you really able to enjoy that time together or are you just stressing yourself out? A good place to start looking is at a point of passion. What do you enjoy? What do you advocate for? What do you absolutely hate? These are starting questions you may be able to ask yourself to gauge what you feel. Acknowledge everything you've done this far. You graduated high school and you finished college. Great job!! You've worked really hard for a really long time, and that is absolutely amazing!! Once you've come to love a bit of yourself, you should have an easier time making connections with people as you can communicate more effectively.

Regarding friendships, I empathize with you. It's really hard to meet new people and build new friendships once you hit the 20s and you have to break into other people's existing friendships or friendships from high school. Like I mentioned earlier, I'd say start at a point of passion or hatred. You like Stray Kids, many people on this forum also like them!! You like Lee Hi, so does my wife!! It may be true that online friends dwindle after a few years, but was it a good time while it lasted? I feel like life is one where everything is temporary but as long as you have a good time and enjoy the nice moments you won't have to say you have regrets. My discord is always open if you need to rant or someone to listen to you, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. You're a strong person, Seungfloral

I'm also going to tag @litc who advocates journaling, because she's more passionate about it than me. It may be a good way to help you feel more like yourself and also get in touch with your feelings.

I am not passionate abt it, I was giving you advice bc of what you said to me bc it’s been proven to help and venting to paper when you can’t vent to people is better than bottling and exploding

 

[seungfloral]

idk what the spoiler says bc I don't want my day to be ruined lol but judging from what Kims said, I have to say that I'm ten years your senior and still go on forums. Hell, Yachii is 58 and he comes on here a lot! Forums have no age max.

That's true, it's a source of my joy ^^

 

[ChiaraStar169]

That's true, it's a source of my joy ^^

yeah, do what makes you happy!

 

[seungfloral]

Spoiler

I'm very sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. You can still decide to make changes in your life, you're still very young and the fact that society asks young kids to decide what to do with their lives so young is the reason why the mid-life crisis exists. Being trapped may mean you're experiencing burnout or it's possible you have been for years now. You should start small, do things that used to make you happy. If English brought you joy, did you write for fun? When was the last time you picked up a good book? What about the books you read years ago that meant a lot to you? Do you like drawing or painting? You could buy a small canvas and just paint whatever you feel.

If you haven't taken your drivers test, have you taken driver's education? I don't know how it is in Romania but the class that you take to study the road signs/laws and practice driving with an instructor before you actually take the test? That would be a good place to start when you feel more ready to tackle that challenge. If you've already taken it, you may be able to google what would be on the test to get a good starting point. However, if you're 27 and haven't needed the drivers license this far, there's nothing stopping you from waiting until you actually do need it or until you feel ready for it. If you fail the test, you can redo it. You have to take up space to try, so don't feel bad for doing so.

Regarding relationships (romantic), you should focus on yourself in order to curve your insecurities projecting. If you want to spend time with someone and enjoy their company but you only think "am I annoying them?" then are you really able to enjoy that time together or are you just stressing yourself out? A good place to start looking is at a point of passion. What do you enjoy? What do you advocate for? What do you absolutely hate? These are starting questions you may be able to ask yourself to gauge what you feel. Acknowledge everything you've done this far. You graduated high school and you finished college. Great job!! You've worked really hard for a really long time, and that is absolutely amazing!! Once you've come to love a bit of yourself, you should have an easier time making connections with people as you can communicate more effectively.

Regarding friendships, I empathize with you. It's really hard to meet new people and build new friendships once you hit the 20s and you have to break into other people's existing friendships or friendships from high school. Like I mentioned earlier, I'd say start at a point of passion or hatred. You like Stray Kids, many people on this forum also like them!! You like Lee Hi, so does my wife!! It may be true that online friends dwindle after a few years, but was it a good time while it lasted? I feel like life is one where everything is temporary but as long as you have a good time and enjoy the nice moments you won't have to say you have regrets. My discord is always open if you need to rant or someone to listen to you, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. You're a strong person, Seungfloral

I'm also going to tag @litc who advocates journaling, because she's more passionate about it than me. It may be a good way to help you feel more like yourself and also get in touch with your feelings.

Thanks, that really genuinely means a lot. I started reading again, it's a slow process, but i have finished a book this year, so im proud of that. I wanna learn to drive one day and win over my fear. Thank you for the advice, I SSed ur message to remind me later and give me strength, and ur wife has taste !

 

[Day]

Thanks, that really genuinely means a lot. I started reading again, it's a slow process, but i have finished a book this year, so im proud of that. I wanna learn to drive one day and win over my fear. Thank you for the advice, I SSed ur message to remind me later and give me strength, and ur wife has taste !

I hope that you can continue to grow from here on out, always remember to drink water every day and eat something yummy every once in a while

 

[seungfloral]

I am not passionate abt it, I was giving you advice bc of what you said to me bc it’s been proven to help and venting to paper when you can’t vent to people is better than bottling and exploding

That's true. My mom had anxiety and her therapist adviced her to write down things and then burn them

 

[seungfloral]

I hope that you can continue to grow from here on out, always remember to drink water every day and eat something yummy every once in a while

Oh man ... Yeah the water thing... I only drank once today xD

 

[Day]

Oh man ... Yeah the water thing... I only drank once today xD

<= @litc, probably (the water sheriff)
it's time to drink some more!! and if that isn't enough eat something salty so you get thirsty

 

[litc]

That's true. My mom had anxiety and her therapist adviced her to write down things and then burn them

I’m giving advice to day I can only help as much as she takes

 

[seungfloral]

<= @litc, probably (the water sheriff)
it's time to drink some more!! and if that isn't enough eat something salty so you get thirsty

Just drank, eating some pomelo. It's full of ... Liquid xD

 

[litc]

I just wanted to get something off my chest, because it's that kind of day. If u don't wanna get ur day or night ruined do not read , ig.

Spoiler: Spoiler

I just feel like i'm in a trap that i set for myself and that i can't get out of. I'm 27 and live with my parents. Since childhood i was a good student, liked to read and study and loved to get praise for it. When i finished high school as the first in my class my aunts and uncles thought i would become a lawyer or doctor. But i really only liked English (i'm from a non english speaking country) so i enrolled in a literature major and korean minor. My parents always encouraged me in everything and i managed to get my grades as good as to not have to pay tuition. But i was mostly average in English and a beginner in korean. I also failed to sign up for pedagogic lessons in year one, for not noticing the deadline early enough so i couldnt sign up anymore all through the three years. I only finished my BA thesis a half a year later after college, and then my mom got sick and i helped her a while. When she got better i had no idea where i should work, since there wasnt many opportunities in my area for english speakers, only teaching, which i obviously suck at. I managed to get a phone job at a local company, not the best pay, but managable for me living at home. It's a desk job, so my unhealthy lifestyle combined with it made me gain weight over the years, which also ruined my confidence. I don't have any real close friends who message me daily , weekly, not even monthly. When i try to message them , they all tell me i should message them more often and then they never do until i try again. My love life is horrible too since i always ruin it, i can't move to a serious relationship cause i'm afraid they will realise how basically worthless and nothing i am inside. My parents encouraged me to get my driving license, but i said i was afraid to drive. It is true, but i'm mostly afraid to fail them once again, and have to get me back from the ground. I'm 27 , everyone around me has a family, a house on their own, a respectable job and kids. While i'm here ruining mine. I mostly make friends online with kpop fans, which sometimes helps me forget reality. But they usually last approximetely a year or so too, cause then they also realize how much i complain, how i bring nothing new to the table anymore. My brother has his own family too, they have a nephew, and now i can't really tell my parents about my struggles either. My mom is taking care of my nephew while my sister in law went back to work. They have enough on their plate. I sometimes told them i wanna switch work places or move out, but they discourage me and tell me this is the best place for me. It is a chill workplace, but i basically don't do anything to improve myself. It's honestly feels like i'm a failure. My friend who we sometimes talk and she works at the same company , she didn't even finish highschool and still gets paid more than i do. I basically feel like a waste of space and air.
But i'm not suicidal or anything. Just .. that's it exactly. I'm just there, it doesn't feel like i'm living at all, just existing.

If you like to study, why don’t you take some courses or study online in your spare time that can help you get some more skills and possibly help you get other careers down the line?

 

[seungfloral]

If you like to study, why don’t you take some courses or study online in your spare time that can help you get some more skills and possibly help you get other careers down the line?

I should, i was afraid before ,cause at my cureent job i had a coworker two years ago who wanted to get me fired. But now she's gone thankfully

 

[litc]

I should, i was afraid before ,cause at my cureent job i had a coworker two years ago who wanted to get me fired. But now she's gone thankfully

Then go for it!

 

[seungfloral]

Then go for it!

I really should , thank you for the encouragement