Sensitive I honestly wish I could suicide because of autism but I am too afraid to die to do that (1 Viewer)

[matteoCFO]

I am 17, half-Mexican, and have autism, I tried working out every day for 23 days and eating healthy and I thought my life was going in the right direction with learning Vietnamese and making plans to study abroad in VIetnam once I became good enough at Vietnamese but it's not an obtainable goal because I have autism plus I will never have the Vietnamese girlfriend I dream of.

Having autism sucks and I wish I was normal so I didn't have to go through all that bullying online and drama, I got bullied severely online for several months and told I was a bad person and that my life was over, I couldn't take it, sometimes I felt like committing suicide every day because of it when it was happening, and especially the bullies themselves, I felt they were controlling my life and I started to have terrible OCD's and obsessive compulsive disorder's about death and it took me months to have control over it and it fucking ruined me.

I wish I didn't have autism and was diagnosed with it at an early age, I constantly tell people I have autism and only had two friends in my entire life and I felt like talking to normal people was a struggle, fuck my life, I'm going to kill myself.

 

[dark_tranquility]

I have autism too.
You just have to work with it.suicide is never the answer.
you are loved. Remember that.