Self-evaluation might be complete bullshit because it depends on your feelings. If you are depressed, you tend to overestimate your weaknesses (and we all have weaknesses, nobody's perfect) while ignoring your strengths. When you are in a good mood make a list. On the left you write your alleged weaknesses, on the right you write your strengths.
Try to be as objective as possible and don't forget that weaknesses could be strengths in some situations (for example you have problems talking to other people but maybe you are a good listener instead). If a weakness could be a strength too, write it on both sides of your list. Then rethink what you wrote. Example: you have problems talking to people. But how do you know that? Did someone tell you or is it just an assumption about you, your self-image? It's quite possible that most problems on your list are subjective perception! The real problems (if there are ones) ... well, work on them. We all have our life tasks.
I went through such crap too. In my youth I had a social phobia. But I had a great psychotherapist that taught me that my fears were just a big bunch of 'Woo-woo'! So ... if you get stuck with your problems, seek professional help. You are
not crazy because you go to a psychotherapist. If you think you don't have the social skills to talk to a therapist - a good therapist will help you getting those skills. All you need to do is making the first step. Remember that you are not the only person with such problems. All people that defeated their inner demons made just one first step. The rest followed.
By the way, there are hotlines where you can talk to someone professional. Maybe this could be the first step before talking to a psychotherapist personally. Do you live in the USA? I found this site:
Using the 988 Lifeline is free. When you call, text, or chat the 988 Lifeline, your conversation is confidential. The 988 Lifeline provides you judgment-free care. Talking with someone can help save…
988lifeline.org
It seems that you can even chat with someone there. If you live in another country, there should be similar sites.
