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I've been gone for a while and I feel like in some ways this has been a huge disappointment.
My health issues have continued to worsen and right now there's a possibility that I have a brain tumor. I feel many emotions right now and none of them are hopeful or positive, but I should know in about 2 weeks whether this is true or not. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel crushed.
This year, I had the thoughts of "I want to live" for the first time in 16 years since I became suicidal. I remember in January when I had this thought and cried out of happiness because maybe my life was going to get better, but right now I feel absolutely hopeless thanks to these medical bills, constant appointments and medications without any improvements, and having to wake up everyday pretending everything is fine so I can go to work to pay bills that might not even matter if I die.
I am thankful for everyone's birthday wishes from earlier this month and I will keep you updated or say goodbye in due time. Please keep me in your thoughts.
My health issues have continued to worsen and right now there's a possibility that I have a brain tumor. I feel many emotions right now and none of them are hopeful or positive, but I should know in about 2 weeks whether this is true or not. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel crushed.
This year, I had the thoughts of "I want to live" for the first time in 16 years since I became suicidal. I remember in January when I had this thought and cried out of happiness because maybe my life was going to get better, but right now I feel absolutely hopeless thanks to these medical bills, constant appointments and medications without any improvements, and having to wake up everyday pretending everything is fine so I can go to work to pay bills that might not even matter if I die.
I am thankful for everyone's birthday wishes from earlier this month and I will keep you updated or say goodbye in due time. Please keep me in your thoughts.