Sensitive It's me hi, I'm the problem it's me (1 Viewer)

[SnowWhite]

Everyday is a struggle. I am this one girl who no one noticed is struggling in the background. I am broke, yet can't control my emotional spending. I need a scholarship so bad yet can't sit my ass and study. I have no decent sleep. Barely function with coffee. Not at peace in home so I only come home to sleep. Can't feel close to anyone and just lost a best friend. Far away from mom and dad I'm not used to, in a country where I struggle to speak the language more than ordering a coffee or holding a daily conversation. Have anxiety yet studying probably the most stressful major to ever exist and not feeling smart enough for it.
I know barely anyone here knows me and I know this isn't the right place to write this, but I guess this shows how desperate I am because I can't even afford to see a psychologist.
I'm so sorry for my existence. Just pass by.

 

[seungfloral]

it must be hard for you, i understand. I would advise u to talk to your parents about your struggles, even if they are far away, they can give u advise and encourage u too. The language barrier is hard, but be patient with urself and try to learn slowly but steadily and don't blame urself if u make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, and i'm sure the other students feel lost and stressed too in ur major. I would also advise to fic ur sleep schedule , that's more urgent than anything else cause it doesnt let u concentrate during the day or rest at night. Try to close electronic devices before sleep, or listen to some white noise or calming sound before sleep. Some ppl say reading before bed makes them sleepy too. Good luck, it's gonna be better one day i'm sure! Wish u all the best

 

[Deleted member 74]

I understand where you're coming from and share some of the struggles you spoke about, it's really hard to feel like you're struggling and desperate and there is no one who can see or understand you. I think you're doing more amazing than you've given yourself credit for, you are smart enough for your major. the fact that you study abroad is already commendable, it's a huge challenge for many people to move away and work toward their future. if you have a good relationship and can talk to your parents about it or at least have their presence help you I'd suggest reaching out to them. I'd also suggest you buy an amber night light and read a book before bed or do anything you like that's calming, the anxiety will eat at you if you can't find time in your day to just be. not study, not worry about money, none of that. that will help you sleep better and if your study schedule feels like a mess, working your way from the easiest to hardest tasks was something that helped me or breaking them down based on importance and contribution to grade. slow progress is better than none. the language barrier and losing a best friend and being away from home must be lonely and isolating. if you ever want someone to talk to feel free to pm me anytime, I wish happy times to you~ <3

 

[SnowWhite]

u to talk to your parents about your struggles, even if they are far away, they can give u advise and encourage u too.

if you have a good relationship and can talk to your parents about it or at least have their presence help you I'd suggest reaching out to them.

Thank u so much guys
I have a fairly good relationship with my parents but they don't know what I'm going through because I already have a sister who is suicidal and hospitalized and I know my mom is heartbroken Abt that. I'm not suicidal yet at least but I think it would be too much for my mom to realize both her kids are broken.

 

[seungfloral]

Thank u so much guys
I have a fairly good relationship with my parents but they don't know what I'm going through because I already have a sister who is suicidal and hospitalized and I know my mom is heartbroken Abt that. I'm not suicidal yet at least but I think it would be too much for my mom to realize both her kids are broken.

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I hope your sister gets better. I think, personally, i would like my daughter to tell me her struggles. I would be more sad to know she suffered alone and didn't want to bother me. And i also believe there is no such thing as "broken" people, because it might refer that u can't fix things. And that's not true, there always is a way out, u just got to be a lil bit brave and reach out!

 

[Deleted member 74]

Thank u so much guys
I have a fairly good relationship with my parents but they don't know what I'm going through because I already have a sister who is suicidal and hospitalized and I know my mom is heartbroken Abt that. I'm not suicidal yet at least but I think it would be too much for my mom to realize both her kids are broken.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, I hope she gets better :c you guys aren't broken, no one is there is no such thing as a broken person we're all products of our circumstances and experiences but they don't define us. it's so nice of you to worry and think about your mum, if you think you're not ready to discuss it with her that's entirely your choice to make but I hope you eventually find your own peace and happiness because you deserve it too

 

[MochiFace]

Everyday is a struggle. I am this one girl who no one noticed is struggling in the background. I am broke, yet can't control my emotional spending. I need a scholarship so bad yet can't sit my ass and study. I have no decent sleep. Barely function with coffee. Not at peace in home so I only come home to sleep. Can't feel close to anyone and just lost a best friend. Far away from mom and dad I'm not used to, in a country where I struggle to speak the language more than ordering a coffee or holding a daily conversation. Have anxiety yet studying probably the most stressful major to ever exist and not feeling smart enough for it.
I know barely anyone here knows me and I know this isn't the right place to write this, but I guess this shows how desperate I am because I can't even afford to see a psychologist.
I'm so sorry for my existence. Just pass by.

I actually can relate to a lot of things you're going through

I'm broke and i can't control my emotional spending too but i think a did a really good work on this and don't spend as much as i used to
i don't know if it'll help you too, but for example before i used to just buy whatever my mood tell me to buy and now i buy the neccessity and when i feel that i'm going to spend on something just because of my feelings, i stop and ask myself " do i really need this in my life ? If i need something with thee same use, can't i use something that i already have and might do the same thing "
and i notice that it made me spend much less money on useless things
I also had the bad habit of going shopping when i feel bored or bad and also because i love fashion

i also had a scholarship but because i wasn't focusing enough on studying when i enter college i lose it for One year
and one thing i did to stop doing tons of things to avoid studying, is to go to the college library because studying on your own is not helpful if you're not the type of people who can work alone
while working in a place where there's no other distraction and all the people around you are working, it motivates you to stay and focus on your study
also do not do like most people and just go there and go full on working non stop,
set you some goals, like today i'll do the entire chapter of this lesson or today i'll stay and study there for 3 hours and then go home and do something else
in college, rest is as important than studying

I also had no decent sleep for years, i remember for months i could only sleep 3-4 hours and then spend a whole day in school non stop
and drinking an infusion before sleep and reading a book really helped me to sleep better.
Because a lot of infusion have a relaxing effect on the body, and a lot of times the reason why you can't sleep is because you have a lot on your mind and using technology device before sleeping isn't great either because it excite your brain
while reading help your brain focusing on a task so you doesn't really think about something else, and reading tired your eyes so you'll quickly fall asleep

then for the "not being able to feel close to people" i totally relate i used to be friends with people for 1 year and then move on because i couldn't create an emotional attach to them, and because i always keep some wall around me and always being very private about myself
and tbh the only advice i can give you is force yourself
force yourself to ask people to go hang out, force yourself to be more open about yourself and the subject you talk with people
because forcing yourself will help you to let your defense down, at first it'll be weird and not natural to you and you'll be uncomfortable
but more you do it, more naturally it'll be
when you're able to let your defense down is in a way, a way for you to gain confidence, and have more ease to create an emotional attachment to people

and finally about the part of being not smart enough to study the major you're in, i totally relate because i always felt this
I'm in law school, and the first year i really struggle i repeated my 2 first years, because i couldn't study because i always felt that even if i study it would never be enough because i would never be as smart than other kids who have lawyers as parents, or teacher from college as parents,
so i didn't really give my everything in my study, it's call the "impostor syndrom" you feel that you're not good enough even if you won your spot there

and for me it really took me a long time, like 4th year, to finally think " actually i deserve to be here, and i'm as smart than everybody"
when i enter my 4th year, and i was the only person who repeated years in college, when everybody else had a perfect run in college
so i went with a mindset of "well at the moment i'm not doing too bad, it's good enough"
and i try to do what i consider the minimum a college student should do to success, while everybody were working their ass off, going everyday to every classes
and then we had our first semester exam result and i end up in the top 4 of the student
and it's at this moment that i understood that other people aren't smarter than me, and i'm not stupid or don't deserve to be at the same place than them
i was just not giving enough effort to do well, because i lack confidence, because i didn't have the right technics to sit at a place and study
and doing all the things i told you previously really help me to realize this




Damn i didn't realize it was so long, but i related too much with your comment, that i really wanted to help you the best i can
I know in fact our experience might be different, but i really hope that some of the things i told you can help you
and i know i'm nobody so there's nothing you think that you need to listen to me
but i'm currently in my last year of law school and i know how messy and chaotic my journey in college was because i had no friends who already experienced college, nobody in my family went to college before me, so i had nobody to help me and guide me through this journey
so if i can be this "friend" who can give you some advice that help me go through all of this, and help you to go through your journey with more ease, it would be a pleasure



btw just by curiosity, in which country do you live currently ? maybe we are in the same one and i can give you advice to adjust to the country ?

 

[SnowWhite]

I actually can relate to a lot of things you're going through

I'm broke and i can't control my emotional spending too but i think a did a really good work on this and don't spend as much as i used to
i don't know if it'll help you too, but for example before i used to just buy whatever my mood tell me to buy and now i buy the neccessity and when i feel that i'm going to spend on something just because of my feelings, i stop and ask myself " do i really need this in my life ? If i need something with thee same use, can't i use something that i already have and might do the same thing "
and i notice that it made me spend much less money on useless things
I also had the bad habit of going shopping when i feel bored or bad and also because i love fashion

i also had a scholarship but because i wasn't focusing enough on studying when i enter college i lose it for One year
and one thing i did to stop doing tons of things to avoid studying, is to go to the college library because studying on your own is not helpful if you're not the type of people who can work alone
while working in a place where there's no other distraction and all the people around you are working, it motivates you to stay and focus on your study
also do not do like most people and just go there and go full on working non stop,
set you some goals, like today i'll do the entire chapter of this lesson or today i'll stay and study there for 3 hours and then go home and do something else
in college, rest is as important than studying

I also had no decent sleep for years, i remember for months i could only sleep 3-4 hours and then spend a whole day in school non stop
and drinking an infusion before sleep and reading a book really helped me to sleep better.
Because a lot of infusion have a relaxing effect on the body, and a lot of times the reason why you can't sleep is because you have a lot on your mind and using technology device before sleeping isn't great either because it excite your brain
while reading help your brain focusing on a task so you doesn't really think about something else, and reading tired your eyes so you'll quickly fall asleep

then for the "not being able to feel close to people" i totally relate i used to be friends with people for 1 year and then move on because i couldn't create an emotional attach to them, and because i always keep some wall around me and always being very private about myself
and tbh the only advice i can give you is force yourself
force yourself to ask people to go hang out, force yourself to be more open about yourself and the subject you talk with people
because forcing yourself will help you to let your defense down, at first it'll be weird and not natural to you and you'll be uncomfortable
but more you do it, more naturally it'll be
when you're able to let your defense down is in a way, a way for you to gain confidence, and have more ease to create an emotional attachment to people

and finally about the part of being not smart enough to study the major you're in, i totally relate because i always felt this
I'm in law school, and the first year i really struggle i repeated my 2 first years, because i couldn't study because i always felt that even if i study it would never be enough because i would never be as smart than other kids who have lawyers as parents, or teacher from college as parents,
so i didn't really give my everything in my study, it's call the "impostor syndrom" you feel that you're not good enough even if you won your spot there

and for me it really took me a long time, like 4th year, to finally think " actually i deserve to be here, and i'm as smart than everybody"
when i enter my 4th year, and i was the only person who repeated years in college, when everybody else had a perfect run in college
so i went with a mindset of "well at the moment i'm not doing too bad, it's good enough"
and i try to do what i consider the minimum a college student should do to success, while everybody were working their ass off, going everyday to every classes
and then we had our first semester exam result and i end up in the top 4 of the student
and it's at this moment that i understood that other people aren't smarter than me, and i'm not stupid or don't deserve to be at the same place than them
i was just not giving enough effort to do well, because i lack confidence, because i didn't have the right technics to sit at a place and study
and doing all the things i told you previously really help me to realize this




Damn i didn't realize it was so long, but i related too much with your comment, that i really wanted to help you the best i can
I know in fact our experience might be different, but i really hope that some of the things i told you can help you
and i know i'm nobody so there's nothing you think that you need to listen to me
but i'm currently in my last year of law school and i know how messy and chaotic my journey in college was because i had no friends who already experienced college, nobody in my family went to college before me, so i had nobody to help me and guide me through this journey
so if i can be this "friend" who can give you some advice that help me go through all of this, and help you to go through your journey with more ease, it would be a pleasure



btw just by curiosity, in which country do you live currently ? maybe we are in the same one and i can give you advice to adjust to the country ?

I honestly feel relieved knowing you relate to me so much.
You really are the best, just the fact that you spent time to give me the best advice you can proves you are not "nobody" but in fact an amazing person. I rly am happy about how your academic life finally turned out. I will try to do my best to manage my studies, I did win a place through a selection exam. Rather than dropping out, I should work on my anxiety and depression cause that won't fix anything. One of the reasons I chose medicine was actually to learn to do self-treatment on my issues.
At the moment I live in Italy where I will probably stay until 2028 when I'd graduate. It's my first time in Europe or a western country in general. Originally from mid-east. I'm so lost that I haven't decided for further than 2028 yet.

 

[MochiFace]

I honestly feel relieved knowing you relate to me so much.
You really are the best, just the fact that you spent time to give me the best advice you can proves you are not "nobody" but in fact an amazing person. I rly am happy about how your academic life finally turned out. I will try to do my best to manage my studies, I did win a place through a selection exam. Rather than dropping out, I should work on my anxiety and depression cause that won't fix anything. One of the reasons I chose medicine was actually to learn to do self-treatment on my issues.
At the moment I live in Italy where I will probably stay until 2028 when I'd graduate. It's my first time in Europe or a western country in general. Originally from mid-east. I'm so lost that I haven't decided for further than 2028 yet.

Thanks it really nice from you

I really hope that some of the advice i gave you will at least improve a little bit your life

Well if you win your spot through a selection exam you're far from being "not enough smart" like you thought
You must be super smart, be confident

Tbh i gain confident by trying to be a little bit narcissit and selfish, i used to always think the same and then i start to joke saying things like " yes i'm super smart" and i didn't believe it at first but hearing it from my own mouth again and again make me start to think yes i am
Learn to be more confident in yourself because you're smart and you wouldn't be here if it was not the case

Oh i live in France ☺☺
If you're in europe it's a great thing try to take this opportunity to travel and get some fresh air
Because traveling in france, spain or even germany from an european country is very cheap use this as an opportunity to discover new things if you can maybe it'll also have a positive impact on your mindset

And even if you don't know anybody in Italia don't be afraid to just take your afternoon for yourself and just go on a walk, discover the street, the beautiful places
And actually doing this type of things might help you to meet new people and make friends

Italy and europe is beautiful and your still here for few years
Try to take this as an opportunity to go out of your box even if it might be uncomfortable
Nobody know you here don't be afraid of anything
I really hope that it might just be for some times and everything will get better for you

If you want to talk more about anything or you might feel bad etc ... Don't be afraid to dm me