just because you're fine with it doesnt mean all women have to be alright with it too, that makes no sense
even if they joke like this in private, theres still a time and place for everything.
its VERY obvious when a women uses bitch in a negative way, and in that case its obviously used as a slur and not as a reclaimed term of empowerment, so my point still stands. when men say it there is ALWAYS a certain implied ""truth"" to it. if your male friend calls you a slut even jokingly, that means he really sees you as easy and sleazy even if it's only subconsiously.
your second point comes across as victim blaming. calling someone a slur is never justified, it doesnt matter what happened between them. think of other slurs used against minorities and ask yourself, is there ever a situation in which it's right to call them said slur? then why is it okay for women? exactly, because degrading women is normalized.