I just feel like everyone's lying to me. I'm so tired of being this way. I keep thinking about what they said before, flipping it over and over in my head, now when they're trying to be nice and close to me some part of me is just shut off. because why would they say that before. I didn't forget. I just silently watched on. if they're saying the same things to everyone else and acting the same way with everyone else, then what does it really mean. it doesn't mean anything at all, so I also take it as nothing at all then. I think it means nothing at all. it's clear they don't actually care. but somehow when I stop caring I'm the bad one. okay. just because I can stop caring quickly doesn't mean I never cared at all. it means I prioritize other things. find someone else to be your placeholder.