Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (11 Viewers)

[potato]

Spoiler

I haven't been replying to people in a while because I feel like I don't deserve to answer people's feelings or I'm not worthy enough to. My opinions don't deserve to be said.

I've always felt content being the side character. I don't think I'm meant to shine. I feel like I'm meant to help other people shine and it's always driven me on. I've always wanted to help people and be the person someone can rely on when in need. But sometimes, I question myself. Am I really worthy enough to be able to help people? Do I deserve the right to do that? There are so many people out there who are confident people. My shy self isn't like those people. I'm stuck in a endless void trying to find myself but I can't seem to find an answer. I feel so unbelievably small in such a huge world and I feel so lost.

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

I haven't been replying to people in a while because I feel like I don't deserve to answer people's feelings or I'm not worthy enough to. My opinions don't deserve to be said.

I've always felt content being the side character. I don't think I'm meant to shine. I feel like I'm meant to help other people shine and it's always driven me on. I've always wanted to help people and be the person someone can rely on when in need. But sometimes, I question myself. Am I really worthy enough to be able to help people? Do I deserve the right to do that? There are so many people out there who are confident people. My shy self isn't like those people. I'm stuck in a endless void trying to find myself but I can't seem to find an answer. I feel so unbelievably small in such a huge world and I feel so lost.

Spoiler

of course you deserve it! anyone with good intention does, imo.. plus you are such a cutie and such a kind soul, it's obvious.. and hehe, as I thought, we are really kind of similar.. but you know? I don't think there's anything wrong with that, helping others shine and all that.. the darkness is what makes the stars appear more bright, and the winners are nothing without someone to clap for them right? you are the most important type of person, someone who builds others up, the glue, the foundation of everything good. That's just how I feel <3

 

[potato]

Spoiler

of course you deserve it! anyone with good intention does, imo.. plus you are such a cutie and such a kind soul, it's obvious.. and hehe, as I thought, we are really kind of similar.. but you know? I don't think there's anything wrong with that, helping others shine and all that.. the darkness is what makes the stars appear more bright, and the winners are nothing without someone to clap for them right? you are the most important type of person, someone who builds others up, the glue, the foundation of everything good. That's just how I feel <3

Spoiler

Thank you for such kind and beautiful words. I think it's a wonderful way to think about things and such a beautful analogy. The people who shine need the people around them to do so and it's not so bad being in the sidelines when you know that you're help has made someone shine. I'm going to try and help people more often now. On this thread and in real life. Thank you for making me feel worthy <3

 

[Buttercup]

Spoiler

I haven't been replying to people in a while because I feel like I don't deserve to answer people's feelings or I'm not worthy enough to. My opinions don't deserve to be said.

I've always felt content being the side character. I don't think I'm meant to shine. I feel like I'm meant to help other people shine and it's always driven me on. I've always wanted to help people and be the person someone can rely on when in need. But sometimes, I question myself. Am I really worthy enough to be able to help people? Do I deserve the right to do that? There are so many people out there who are confident people. My shy self isn't like those people. I'm stuck in a endless void trying to find myself but I can't seem to find an answer. I feel so unbelievably small in such a huge world and I feel so lost.

Spoiler

Everybody's thoughts and opinions deserve to be said. That very kind of you, many people only cares about themselves rather them other people. Stop doubting yourself you do deserve the rights. I'm also pretty shy, just know you're not alone.

 

[kodoku]

i want to cut off my nose


i'm not going to, not while im in a sane state of mind. I hate nose

are you okay..?

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: rant, nvm

as my return to work and so many stressful things and problems I'll have to face approaches, I keep not being able to sleep... I hate these tiring nightmares that haunt me... it's like my mind and body are sabotaging me, I swear... I wake up shaken up and confused sometimes, sometimes I think I'm in a different country when I wake up lol... it's because I am so scared... scared of making the wrong choice, scared of failing, scared of disappointment, and losing everything... my paranoia is not helping at all.. I have a few days left, but I'm not getting things done yet, I'm not prepared for everything that awaits me soon, sigh... don't know if I'm doing the right thing and no matter what I do, it will be so difficult...I don't know how to become the person I want to be either.. even if I know how, I can't seem to just do the things I need to do mmm..

 

[potato]

Spoiler: rant, nvm

as my return to work and so many stressful things and problems I'll have to face approaches, I keep not being able to sleep... I hate these tiring nightmares that haunt me... it's like my mind and body are sabotaging me, I swear... I wake up shaken up and confused sometimes, sometimes I think I'm in a different country when I wake up lol... it's because I am so scared... scared of making the wrong choice, scared of failing, scared of disappointment, and losing everything... my paranoia is not helping at all.. I have a few days left, but I'm not getting things done yet, I'm not prepared for everything that awaits me soon, sigh... don't know if I'm doing the right thing and no matter what I do, it will be so difficult...I don't know how to become the person I want to be either.. even if I know how, I can't seem to just do the things I need to do mmm..

Spoiler

Don't be afraid :( It's okay to make the wong choice sometimes and it's okay to fail. You can learn from those mistakes and look back upon them as learning. Humans can never learn without failing first. Even when you fail, you're still doing the right thing because you're learning and growing at the same time. Your mistakes can make you choose the right path. So don't be afraid of doing the wrong thing because it can lead you to become the person that you want to become. <3

 

[lexus]

I just really needed to vent about this

Spoiler

I don't know why, but I just can't stop being bothered about things with my father. We barely talk and we barely see each other. Now I see him about once or twice a year. The first I saw him this year was last month on my birthday. I was even surprised that he gave me a gift (which I am very grateful for). For the past year or so, I have been so conflicted about our relationship. My dad doesn't care about talking to me and doesn't even make an effort to come see me. Usually he'll tell my mom to just make me go to his house, but he doesn't understand how bad my anxiety can get when travel far distances from home. He doesn't get my anxiety at all. He even says stuff to me like "you need to go out and get you some friends" or "she needs a boyfriend". He's part of the reason I'm extremely quiet around people and why I don't open up to just anyone (irl).
Now, he's about to get married. He didn't even bother to tell my brother and myself and when my mom asked him when he'd tell us (my older brother and I), he said "What kids?". I couldn't help but feel angry by it. Anytime I try to vent to my mom about my dad she just tells me to not let it get to me. But, she just doesn't understand what it's like to have a father who doesn't give two shits about you. She was always a daddy's girl, while I wasn't. My father is hardly ever around and she's never dealt with that and she pretty much raised us on her own. Therefore, I can barely talk to her about it because she'll just get annoyed that I'm letting this stuff get to me.
For the past year, I've just kept thinking that I should stop talking to him for good, but I just don't have the heart to do it. I've always been tenderhearted and things like that would just give me an immense amount of guilt. My head is starting to get filled with all the negative things he used to say to me. I just keep remembering all the emotional abuse I went through with him and sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it. When I'm around my father now, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable. I remember last Christmas I didn't even want to leave my room to go see him. I was scared to face him again.
My dad has always been someone who's selfish and cares only about getting his own personal gain. Anytime he stops by my house he would only go there if he needed something. He wouldn't even bother to see me sometimes. He won't even hold himself accountable for his own actions.
I'm just tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of being the only one who's hurt by it. I don't even know what to do about it anymore.

 

[potato]

I just really needed to vent about this

Spoiler

I don't know why, but I just can't stop being bothered about things with my father. We barely talk and we barely see each other. Now I see him about once or twice a year. The first I saw him this year was last month on my birthday. I was even surprised that he gave me a gift (which I am very grateful for). For the past year or so, I have been so conflicted about our relationship. My dad doesn't care about talking to me and doesn't even make an effort to come see me. Usually he'll tell my mom to just make me go to his house, but he doesn't understand how bad my anxiety can get when travel far distances from home. He doesn't get my anxiety at all. He even says stuff to me like "you need to go out and get you some friends" or "she needs a boyfriend". He's part of the reason I'm extremely quiet around people and why I don't open up to just anyone (irl).
Now, he's about to get married. He didn't even bother to tell my brother and myself and when my mom asked him when he'd tell us (my older brother and I), he said "What kids?". I couldn't help but feel angry by it. Anytime I try to vent to my mom about my dad she just tells me to not let it get to me. But, she just doesn't understand what it's like to have a father who doesn't give two shits about you. She was always a daddy's girl, while I wasn't. My father is hardly ever around and she's never dealt with that and she pretty much raised us on her own. Therefore, I can barely talk to her about it because she'll just get annoyed that I'm letting this stuff get to me.
For the past year, I've just kept thinking that I should stop talking to him for good, but I just don't have the heart to do it. I've always been tenderhearted and things like that would just give me an immense amount of guilt. My head is starting to get filled with all the negative things he used to say to me. I just keep remembering all the emotional abuse I went through with him and sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it. When I'm around my father now, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable. I remember last Christmas I didn't even want to leave my room to go see him. I was scared to face him again.
My dad has always been someone who's selfish and cares only about getting his own personal gain. Anytime he stops by my house he would only go there if he needed something. He wouldn't even bother to see me sometimes. He won't even hold himself accountable for his own actions.
I'm just tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of being the only one who's hurt by it. I don't even know what to do about it anymore.

Spoiler

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I think you should do what you think will benefit you the most. If you think that cutting him out from your life will make you life better and happier, I think you should do it regardless of the repurcusions. In this situation, I believe you should focus on what would be best for you rather than others. Have you tried voicing your opinions to him and talking to him about the situation? If you communicated your worries, it may help the situaion better. But you don't need to do anything you're not comfortable doing.
Also you are an amazing person. Don't let anyone else say otherwise. Whenever you think of those negative memories, remember that you are amazing, you are not worthless and you will not let those hateful words defeat you because you are a strong person. <3

 

[lexus]

Spoiler

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I think you should do what you think will benefit you the most. If you think that cutting him out from your life will make you life better and happier, I think you should do it regardless of the repurcusions. In this situation, I believe you should focus on what would be best for you rather than others. Have you tried voicing your opinions to him and talking to him about the situation? If you communicated your worries, it may help the situaion better. But you don't need to do anything you're not comfortable doing.
Also you are an amazing person. Don't let anyone else say otherwise. Whenever you think of those negative memories, remember that you are amazing, you are not worthless and you will not let those hateful words defeat you because you are a strong person. <3

Spoiler

Thank you 💙
Unfortunately though, I can't just tell him about this stuff. He'll probably try to push the blame onto to me somehow. Or he'll just find an excuse for why we don't talk. That's just how he is. He really just doesn't care. So that's something that I can't really do. But thank you for trying to help though. 💙
I'm still conflicted about what to do. I know that cutting him off will probably benefit me more, but it's just something that I can't bring myself to do right now.
I guess I'll just wait until tomorrow and try to express my concerns to my therapist and see what he thinks.

 

[kodoku]

I just really needed to vent about this

Spoiler

I don't know why, but I just can't stop being bothered about things with my father. We barely talk and we barely see each other. Now I see him about once or twice a year. The first I saw him this year was last month on my birthday. I was even surprised that he gave me a gift (which I am very grateful for). For the past year or so, I have been so conflicted about our relationship. My dad doesn't care about talking to me and doesn't even make an effort to come see me. Usually he'll tell my mom to just make me go to his house, but he doesn't understand how bad my anxiety can get when travel far distances from home. He doesn't get my anxiety at all. He even says stuff to me like "you need to go out and get you some friends" or "she needs a boyfriend". He's part of the reason I'm extremely quiet around people and why I don't open up to just anyone (irl).
Now, he's about to get married. He didn't even bother to tell my brother and myself and when my mom asked him when he'd tell us (my older brother and I), he said "What kids?". I couldn't help but feel angry by it. Anytime I try to vent to my mom about my dad she just tells me to not let it get to me. But, she just doesn't understand what it's like to have a father who doesn't give two shits about you. She was always a daddy's girl, while I wasn't. My father is hardly ever around and she's never dealt with that and she pretty much raised us on her own. Therefore, I can barely talk to her about it because she'll just get annoyed that I'm letting this stuff get to me.
For the past year, I've just kept thinking that I should stop talking to him for good, but I just don't have the heart to do it. I've always been tenderhearted and things like that would just give me an immense amount of guilt. My head is starting to get filled with all the negative things he used to say to me. I just keep remembering all the emotional abuse I went through with him and sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it. When I'm around my father now, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable. I remember last Christmas I didn't even want to leave my room to go see him. I was scared to face him again.
My dad has always been someone who's selfish and cares only about getting his own personal gain. Anytime he stops by my house he would only go there if he needed something. He wouldn't even bother to see me sometimes. He won't even hold himself accountable for his own actions.
I'm just tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of being the only one who's hurt by it. I don't even know what to do about it anymore.

Spoiler

that sucks, I am sorry.. it's relatable too.. I think you can try talking to your parents and if it fails again, then just make it clear in your head that you are not close to your father and that's how it is. Say hi how are you, thank you, bye to him....but accept the reality of the situation for your own sake. and yes, I know that's very very hard to do, even I still struggle with it sometimes. But life goes on and it will be filled with many people and events, you will be alright even without him... if it's hopeless, if you can't reach him, maybe it's best to let it go..

 

[lexus]

Spoiler

that sucks, I am sorry.. it's relatable too.. I think you can try talking to your parents and if it fails again, then just make it clear in your head that you are not close to your father and that's how it is. Say hi how are you, thank you, bye to him....but accept the reality of the situation for your own sake. and yes, I know that's very very hard to do, even I still struggle with it sometimes. But life goes on and it will be filled with many people and events, you will be alright even without him... if it's hopeless, if you can't reach him, maybe it's best to let it go..

Spoiler

I think you're right. I can't really talk to him about this because he'll never own up to another. It's probably time for me to just learn to accept the fact that things are the way they are. He'll never change, so I guess I need to accept that and move on. I know it'll be hard, but I'll just have to learn how to live my life without him. Thank you for helping 💙
I'm gonna talk to my therapist about this tomorrow and see what he says as well 💙

 

[Sory]

Sometimes I wish we’d have a mental health discord. I wish I could hang with anyone of you online when I feel miserable or just in need to talk.

 

[potato]

Sometimes I wish we’d have a mental health discord. I wish I could hang with anyone of you online when I feel miserable or just in need to talk.

What a good idea! Should we make one with @kodoku ?

 

[Sory]

What a good idea! Should we make one with @kodoku ?

I would definitely be in

 

[gongchan]

Spoiler

I'm still waiting for this chapter of my life to end. It's been 2 years with only a matter of weeks that I've felt ok. I really just wish I could stop hurting myself in so many ways. I wish I could stop having shit mental condition. I'm still young but all of this has drained whatever youth I had. The signs are starting up again. I feel devoid of emotion to so many things I should care about.
I hate how every night is such a restless night. I cant push my thoughts away on these nights. I feel like I'm repeating the same things and trying to improve my life but with no result. God knows I'm just so tired.

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

so many habits, im doing so many bad things again. an im about to fuck up even more because im so fucking stupid, how am i even going to finish my education? If i was a girl, atleast i could find a rich man. instead i'll probably just become homeless once my ex kicks me out. i know its survival of the fittest, but i didnt ask to be born a stupid worthless dumb fuck up , there's no excuse i just suck.

Spoiler

please don't talk about yourself like that, even if I understand your frustration.. Everyone has some good qualities, try focusing on those. I hope everything gets better soon.. ❤

Spoiler

I'm still waiting for this chapter of my life to end. It's been 2 years with only a matter of weeks that I've felt ok. I really just wish I could stop hurting myself in so many ways. I wish I could stop having shit mental condition. I'm still young but all of this has drained whatever youth I had. The signs are starting up again. I feel devoid of emotion to so many things I should care about.
I hate how every night is such a restless night. I cant push my thoughts away on these nights. I feel like I'm repeating the same things and trying to improve my life but with no result. God knows I'm just so tired.

Spoiler

too relatable tbh, you are not alone... Is there any way you can try something else if this is not working? But sometimes we just need to be persistent too, hmm.. I think both options are worth trying for and I hope things get better soon, cutie

 

[potato]

Spoiler

so many habits, im doing so many bad things again. an im about to fuck up even more because im so fucking stupid, how am i even going to finish my education? If i was a girl, atleast i could find a rich man. instead i'll probably just become homeless once my ex kicks me out. i know its survival of the fittest, but i didnt ask to be born a stupid worthless dumb fuck up , there's no excuse i just suck.

Spoiler

You're not any of the things that you think you are - please don't talk about yourself like that because you're an amazing person and an amazing friend. If you try hard, I'm certain that you will finish your education and get a job. Maybe try listing down your bad habits and figuring out how to solve them one by one? Writing things down might help in some way. It's also okay to take some rest to think about your thoughts and your mental health when you think things are getting too out of control.
I wish you all the best <3

Spoiler

I'm still waiting for this chapter of my life to end. It's been 2 years with only a matter of weeks that I've felt ok. I really just wish I could stop hurting myself in so many ways. I wish I could stop having shit mental condition. I'm still young but all of this has drained whatever youth I had. The signs are starting up again. I feel devoid of emotion to so many things I should care about.
I hate how every night is such a restless night. I cant push my thoughts away on these nights. I feel like I'm repeating the same things and trying to improve my life but with no result. God knows I'm just so tired.

Spoiler

Keep trying because I know you can do it. Your mental health is very fragile and it takes a long time to repair but if you keep on trying and pursuing a happier life, I'm sure that it will come true. I've wanted to give up so many times too but I kept trying everyday and slowly I got better. I'm certain that you can do it too <3

Spoiler

Are you okay? Whatever it is, I hope you feel better soon. I'll always be here and you can PM me if you want to. <3

 

[kodoku]

You okay bestie? I hope you are, I'm here if you wanna talk.. <3

 

[gongchan]

Sometimes I wish we’d have a mental health discord. I wish I could hang with anyone of you online when I feel miserable or just in need to talk.

What a good idea! Should we make one with @kodoku ?

I would definitely be in

I've been thinking about this a lot. I think a server would be very nice because it would be easier to talk and responses would be faster. Has anyone made one yet?