Michael
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This took me by surprise although on looking back, I should have thought it. I noticed her sad looks many times, and I know it may mean depression. I so hope she's already okay. I wonder how are the other girls doing. Now I'm worrying on their mental health. @Hackers
https://ameblo.jp/pass37370code/entry-12718082947.html
Translated from Japanese by DeepL
In the summer of 2017, for some reason I couldn't stop crying every day when I came home and was in a daze. There were many reasons, but after a few months of not knowing why it was so painful, I searched for my symptoms and came up with a website for self-diagnosis of depression. I typed in my symptoms and came up with a self-diagnosis site for depression. I changed the site several times because I couldn't swallow the result of severe depression, but the answer was the same. When I showed her the results and asked her to take me to the hospital, my mother looked very sad and said, "Don't say that. When I asked her to take me to the hospital to show me the results, she looked very sad and said, "Don't say that. The next day, my mother (I'm sure she thought of many things) took me to the hospital in the morning, and the result was the same: she simply told me to take a leave of absence from work to write a medical report. In mid-October, when I was preparing for my tour, I was surprised to hear that when I said I couldn't take time off from work, they said, "If you want to die, you can just continue. I left the hospital with just some medicine, but in the end, I still didn't know how to deal with it.
On the first day of the Zenith Tour, I was about to rehearse when I suddenly lost my voice and could not sing or speak. I asked Mr. Kitada, who was in charge of Universal, to take me to a nearby karaoke box, but there was no improvement and the time for the venue arrived. I had a fever of nearly 40 degrees Celsius for the three consecutive days of live performances in Tokyo, Osaka, and Osaka from the first day, and I hardly remembered anything, but when I watched the video footage that was taken of each performance later, I was glad that I had managed (really managed) to make it to the end. I couldn't sleep or eat, and the only thing I could eat was Anpanman chocolates, which Tanimu, the live producer, bought for me every time we went to a convenience store. The more I thought about what I should do, the worse it got. I had mentioned this a few times, but from the middle of the tour, I stopped taking the medicine and went on tour while drinking. For some reason, I was able to perform well after I added an inexplicable responsibility to myself that it was no good if I couldn't perform while drinking. I know it sounds like I was just running away from alcohol, but I think it was a necessary choice for me at that time. I felt a little more at ease when I could perform properly. By the time all the additional performances were over, I started to understand how to deal with my illness in a way that suited me even without drinking. The fact that the people who came to the show continued to accept me no matter what kind of day it was and that I was able to finish the tour even in a bad condition was a huge thing for me, and at that time I decided that I would not quit PassCode unless I had a better reason.
Sometimes I receive letters or messages on SNS from people who are suffering from mental pain. It is a disease that is difficult to be understood, and when I was first diagnosed, I was very worried that I had become sick because I was weak, but after a long time I realized that it is a disease that can affect anyone depending on the situation and timing. There is no need to blame yourself, and if you can rest, take it easy. I hope I can be kind to myself, and when I can afford it, I hope I can be kind to those around me. Just as each person has a different cause, the speed of healing and the way to heal are also different, and no hospital, counseling, or medicine worked for me. With Nao Minami on stage, who can speak strong words at live shows, I was able to keep the balance over time little by little.
When it was decided that PassCode would be featured on Yahoo News, I was asked what was the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought I could talk about it now, so I decided to talk about it. At the end of the interview, Mr. Kitada said to me, "In your case, maybe you were able to be strong because of PassCode.
In 2021, when I thought about quitting PassCode for the first time since that time, I realized that the stage, which I thought was a place where my fragile self could be strong, had turned into a place where I could be myself more naturally than anywhere else. All I can say is "Thank you," but every time I stand on stage, I feel "I'm glad to be alive. You will always be my light.
Comments from Japanese fans under the blog post translated from Japanese by DeepL:
comments from reddit:
https://ameblo.jp/pass37370code/entry-12718082947.html
Translated from Japanese by DeepL
In the summer of 2017, for some reason I couldn't stop crying every day when I came home and was in a daze. There were many reasons, but after a few months of not knowing why it was so painful, I searched for my symptoms and came up with a website for self-diagnosis of depression. I typed in my symptoms and came up with a self-diagnosis site for depression. I changed the site several times because I couldn't swallow the result of severe depression, but the answer was the same. When I showed her the results and asked her to take me to the hospital, my mother looked very sad and said, "Don't say that. When I asked her to take me to the hospital to show me the results, she looked very sad and said, "Don't say that. The next day, my mother (I'm sure she thought of many things) took me to the hospital in the morning, and the result was the same: she simply told me to take a leave of absence from work to write a medical report. In mid-October, when I was preparing for my tour, I was surprised to hear that when I said I couldn't take time off from work, they said, "If you want to die, you can just continue. I left the hospital with just some medicine, but in the end, I still didn't know how to deal with it.
On the first day of the Zenith Tour, I was about to rehearse when I suddenly lost my voice and could not sing or speak. I asked Mr. Kitada, who was in charge of Universal, to take me to a nearby karaoke box, but there was no improvement and the time for the venue arrived. I had a fever of nearly 40 degrees Celsius for the three consecutive days of live performances in Tokyo, Osaka, and Osaka from the first day, and I hardly remembered anything, but when I watched the video footage that was taken of each performance later, I was glad that I had managed (really managed) to make it to the end. I couldn't sleep or eat, and the only thing I could eat was Anpanman chocolates, which Tanimu, the live producer, bought for me every time we went to a convenience store. The more I thought about what I should do, the worse it got. I had mentioned this a few times, but from the middle of the tour, I stopped taking the medicine and went on tour while drinking. For some reason, I was able to perform well after I added an inexplicable responsibility to myself that it was no good if I couldn't perform while drinking. I know it sounds like I was just running away from alcohol, but I think it was a necessary choice for me at that time. I felt a little more at ease when I could perform properly. By the time all the additional performances were over, I started to understand how to deal with my illness in a way that suited me even without drinking. The fact that the people who came to the show continued to accept me no matter what kind of day it was and that I was able to finish the tour even in a bad condition was a huge thing for me, and at that time I decided that I would not quit PassCode unless I had a better reason.
Sometimes I receive letters or messages on SNS from people who are suffering from mental pain. It is a disease that is difficult to be understood, and when I was first diagnosed, I was very worried that I had become sick because I was weak, but after a long time I realized that it is a disease that can affect anyone depending on the situation and timing. There is no need to blame yourself, and if you can rest, take it easy. I hope I can be kind to myself, and when I can afford it, I hope I can be kind to those around me. Just as each person has a different cause, the speed of healing and the way to heal are also different, and no hospital, counseling, or medicine worked for me. With Nao Minami on stage, who can speak strong words at live shows, I was able to keep the balance over time little by little.
When it was decided that PassCode would be featured on Yahoo News, I was asked what was the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought I could talk about it now, so I decided to talk about it. At the end of the interview, Mr. Kitada said to me, "In your case, maybe you were able to be strong because of PassCode.
In 2021, when I thought about quitting PassCode for the first time since that time, I realized that the stage, which I thought was a place where my fragile self could be strong, had turned into a place where I could be myself more naturally than anywhere else. All I can say is "Thank you," but every time I stand on stage, I feel "I'm glad to be alive. You will always be my light.
Comments from Japanese fans under the blog post translated from Japanese by DeepL:
comments from reddit:
![WHOS [RandAlThor]](https://kpopsource.com/data/medal/1148_1589468878m.jpg)
