People who ask how they look: do you agree with my English teacher? (1 Viewer)

[litc]

So in my 12th grade English class, my teacher said (no I'm not in 12th grade, at that time) that people who ask how they look are always looking for an ego boost.

Two types:

1) people who look good and KNOW they look good and so ask to get that yes, are arrogant

2) people who are insecure and so need that reassurance and validation to feed their ego and feel better about themselves

They may be asking, but they don't want the "no"


Now this is different from asking if you look good in a certain outfit, you look fine before going out, like didn't have pain on your clothes or your fly unzipped, you chose a right outfit, your makeup isn't messy, etc. and wanting an honest opinion/feedback before you present yourself somewhere/to someone

Like definitely tell me if I worse my t-shirt inside out instead of keeping quiet to be "nice"

But yeah purely asking about your looks and not something circumstantial and in the moment, that CAN BE CHANGED (ex. you can change your outfit, fix your makeup, zip up your pants). I definitely agree with him

Same thing with fishing for compliments, this is why I was thinking about this, about why I don't take compliments well, and don't think I ever will, but I don't really want to (though I do appreciate genuine compliments when they seem fair)

As far as fishing for compliments if you're asking someone for a specific compliment basically, a leading question, and you get it, what value/weight does that hold to you? Does it really mean something to you? This is different again from something open-ended like "what do you like about me" or "what do you think about me"

What do you think about people asking how they look doing it for an ego boost, and the two kinds, though? Agree with my teacher?

 

[uran]

I agree that people ask it for different reasons and many times it is to get compliments. Because they want ego boost or selfesteem boost.
From my own experience there are also those who might suffer from body dysmorphia who just need comfirmation if they really dont look as horrible as they see themselfs. I do that a lot when i get stuck in headspace and feel fat and ugly. Ofc i want people to tell me that i look good and want praise but it can be just to get confirmation that are their view of themselfs real or not. It might hurt them if they dont get compliments and even of they express they dont believe you itll be part of their healing when theyre out of that self hating headspace.

 

[uran]

Now compliment me for being perfect sexy and rich

 

[Willow]

I definitely agree with your teacher. I don't feel confident enough myself so I don't accept compliments easily

 

[litc]

I agree that people ask it for different reasons and many times it is to get compliments. Because they want ego boost or selfesteem boost.
From my own experience there are also those who might suffer from body dysmorphia who just need comfirmation if they really dont look as horrible as they see themselfs. I do that a lot when i get stuck in headspace and feel fat and ugly. Ofc i want people to tell me that i look good and want praise but it can be just to get confirmation that are their view of themselfs real or not. It might hurt them if they dont get compliments and even of they express they dont believe you itll be part of their healing when theyre out of that self hating headspace.

Yeah that’s the second one

ego boost for either arrogance or insecurity, ego is just the sense of pride/self-esteem so having an ego isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just an inflated one is

Now compliment me for being perfect sexy and rich

Perfect sexy rich comedian of the year

I definitely agree with your teacher. I don't feel confident enough myself so I don't accept compliments easily

Ah this is more if they ask if they look good, trying to get compliments

 

[ani07]

I also agree with your teacher

 

[maruberry]

I agree with your teacher to an extent...
But also I often joke on topics like my looks so usually if I am asking somebody how I look, it's me joking around

 

[litc]

I agree with your teacher to an extent...
But also I often joke on topics like my looks so usually if I am asking somebody how I look, it's me joking around

Yes ofc he was talking about actually asking not jokes