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The Great Taco War
I've never disclosed this to anyone.
But I am part of a dark and sinister plot.
Since I was a small kid sized Eman I have been a secret agent for The Taco Hut, a local taco joint.
Ever since I was spoon fed Taco Hut Queso and Tortillas.... I was one of them.
Everywhere I go I preach the goodness and medicinal qualities of Taco Hut tacos.
Give them to your children. They'll grow tall!
Have them at your wedding they go good with beer!
Keep them for the Apocalypse. They'll save your life.
Some say it's just good cooking.
Some say the tacos are magical.
In any case I am a believer.
Taco Hut tacos have been a light in this small town. Giving hope and optimism to families and children for generations.
But all is not rainbows and salsa in our local town!
For our arch enemy, The Big Taco, has spies and collaborators everywhere.
The Big Taco is not just any taco place!
It has dark and dirty tricks!
I've heard rumors that they line their queso with coke to keep customers!
Others say they keep their meat too long and serve it smiling! Laughing as poor customers eat Tuesdays tacos on Friday!
Just today I saw The Big Taco had opened a second location!
Being a good secret agent, I went on a recon mission to gather information.
I needed to test its strengths and weaknesses.
I sat down and ordered 3 Funny Tacos.
When it came I stared at them suspicious, cheese oozing out inticingly from the taco ends.
I look over to see the counter guy pretending to look at his phone disinterested.
HAVE THEY FOUND ME OUT??? I Think to myself as sweat beads up at my brow.
Just as I am about to try the questionable funny taco, I look up and see a sign by the door.
"Keep calm and eat tacos." Their taco man mascot smiling down at me menacingly.
Ahhh!!! Psychological warfare!!!!!
I quickly jump up and run out of the establishment as quickly as I can!
Jump in my car and speed out of the parking lot.
THEY ALMOST GOT ME!
I race to the other side of town to Taco Hut HQ.
When I get there I order 3 cups of queso and immediately drink them straight to take the edge off. I'm rattled after my mission. But the yellow cheese calms my nerves.
Aww .... I'm safe. I'm safe.
The counter guy gives me my usual discount when I pay and I leave.
As the store mascot The Smiling Taco looks down at me from the sign outside reassuringly like a taco themes Jesus.....
I think about what's to come.
I had a close call today.
But my mission is not complete.
The Big Taco is still out there! Still out tricking customers with it's day old beef!
The Great Taco War is never over.
I'll have to eat there again.
But not today!
For now we're safe.
UNTIL TOMORROW & LUNCH TIME!
I've never disclosed this to anyone.
But I am part of a dark and sinister plot.
Since I was a small kid sized Eman I have been a secret agent for The Taco Hut, a local taco joint.
Ever since I was spoon fed Taco Hut Queso and Tortillas.... I was one of them.
Everywhere I go I preach the goodness and medicinal qualities of Taco Hut tacos.
Give them to your children. They'll grow tall!
Have them at your wedding they go good with beer!
Keep them for the Apocalypse. They'll save your life.
Some say it's just good cooking.
Some say the tacos are magical.
In any case I am a believer.
Taco Hut tacos have been a light in this small town. Giving hope and optimism to families and children for generations.
But all is not rainbows and salsa in our local town!
For our arch enemy, The Big Taco, has spies and collaborators everywhere.
The Big Taco is not just any taco place!
It has dark and dirty tricks!
I've heard rumors that they line their queso with coke to keep customers!
Others say they keep their meat too long and serve it smiling! Laughing as poor customers eat Tuesdays tacos on Friday!
Just today I saw The Big Taco had opened a second location!
Being a good secret agent, I went on a recon mission to gather information.
I needed to test its strengths and weaknesses.
I sat down and ordered 3 Funny Tacos.
When it came I stared at them suspicious, cheese oozing out inticingly from the taco ends.
I look over to see the counter guy pretending to look at his phone disinterested.
HAVE THEY FOUND ME OUT??? I Think to myself as sweat beads up at my brow.
Just as I am about to try the questionable funny taco, I look up and see a sign by the door.
"Keep calm and eat tacos." Their taco man mascot smiling down at me menacingly.
Ahhh!!! Psychological warfare!!!!!
I quickly jump up and run out of the establishment as quickly as I can!
Jump in my car and speed out of the parking lot.
THEY ALMOST GOT ME!
I race to the other side of town to Taco Hut HQ.
When I get there I order 3 cups of queso and immediately drink them straight to take the edge off. I'm rattled after my mission. But the yellow cheese calms my nerves.
Aww .... I'm safe. I'm safe.
The counter guy gives me my usual discount when I pay and I leave.
As the store mascot The Smiling Taco looks down at me from the sign outside reassuringly like a taco themes Jesus.....
I think about what's to come.
I had a close call today.
But my mission is not complete.
The Big Taco is still out there! Still out tricking customers with it's day old beef!
The Great Taco War is never over.
I'll have to eat there again.
But not today!
For now we're safe.
UNTIL TOMORROW & LUNCH TIME!
