They've ALL had PS! I'm telling you! (1 Viewer)

[gone4good]

From the story there’s nothing to suggest that she ever lied, just that she didn’t proactively bring it up and let the partner know. If they did lie yeah that’s a lot worse but it doesn’t sound like she did, unless the story is just told that way unintentionally

its like saying, "well, yeah, I cheated on you but I figured I wouldn't bring it up!"
a healthy relationship begins with the TRUTH. And the truth to me is spilling your every secrets from Day 1.

You may think I'm special Vikki, but believe me, concealing (not revealing, not mentioning, not bringing up stuff) is just as bad where I come from.

 

[Ahsoka]

seriously, you would commit and marry someone who would hide half his past life from you (nevermind PS)? damnnnnn

It’s impossible to marry someone who doesn’t “hide” half their past life from you. You will never be able to see every moment of every day of someone’s life and they won’t be able to tell you all that. Some information is needed, some is pretty personal and maybe upsetting, some would just not interest the other person. So in the end, a lot of information gets hidden and I wouldn’t expect anything otherwise.

 

[Selfmate]

From the story there’s nothing to suggest that she ever lied, just that she didn’t proactively bring it up and let the partner know. If they did lie yeah that’s a lot worse but it doesn’t sound like she did, unless the story is just told that way unintentionally

by then the issue is at what point would one consider something lying by omission - does the lie have to be big enough before it becomes "discloseable"

let's say one couple wanted children and the other didn't but didn't want to lose said partner but were also admanet of not losing their partner and got a vasectomy but didn't tell their partner wouldn't that be a big enough lie?

what if one party had children but failed to disclose it? (separate example from the above lol)

what if one party has a history of drug/acohol issues but failed to disclose that? or mental issues - are they discloseable?

 

[gone4good]

It’s impossible to marry someone who doesn’t “hide” half their past life from you.

They won't marry me. Trust me!

 

[Ahsoka]

its like saying, "well, yeah, I cheated on you but I figured I wouldn't bring it up!"
a healthy relationship begins with the TRUTH. And the truth to me is spilling your every secrets from Day 1.

You may think I'm special Vikki, but believe me, concealing (not revealing, not mentioning, not bringing up stuff) is just as bad where I come from.

Is someone cheating the same thing as paying money to get a prettier face/body in your opinion? I don’t see ps as a thing that needs to be mentioned because I don’t see it as something important enough to require admission. It’s just plastic surgery, not murder, cheating, any crime, ect.

 

[gone4good]

Is someone cheating the same thing as paying money to get a prettier face/body in your opinion? I don’t see ps as a thing that needs to be mentioned because I don’t see it as something important enough to require admission. It’s just plastic surgery, not murder, cheating, any crime, ect.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with PS. In fact, it's common practice in SK, not just for idols!
Like I said, its not what you did in your past life that bothers me, hell, I don't give a damn! (including PS).
Its the mere fact that you won't consider discussing it with me on the basis that you are considering spending the rest of your natural life with me! That's the problem!! Open up and say "Ahhh" or hit the road!! LMAOOO

 

[Ahsoka]

by then the issue is at what point would one consider something lying by omission - does the lie have to be big enough before it becomes "discloseable"

let's say one couple wanted children and the other didn't but didn't want to lose said partner but were also admanet of not losing their partner and got a vasectomy but didn't tell their partner wouldn't that be a big enough lie?

what if one party had children but failed to disclose it? (separate example from the above lol)

what if one party has a history of drug/acohol issues but failed to disclose that? or mental issues - are they discloseable?

If the person was adamant that they wanted a pretty face for pretty kids and told their partner that before marriage and the partner still didn’t say anything yeah that’s pretty bad. Something with drug/alcohol problems could affect both of them in the future so that would be important to disclose. The fact that your lips are plumper and it cost some money doesn’t seem to be something where both parties will be affected in most cases unless in the case above, where it’s not obvious whether that happened to begin with

 

[Selfmate]

It is a preference but your chances of this type of situation are more likely to happen if you go based only on visuals. If that’s a risk someone’s willing to take then yeah go for it as long as they don’t string along someone in their quest. But this situation could be avoided by not doing that. Overall, as long as both people are on the same page then go for it ig.

right on the same page means some sort of informed consent no?
like a couple should talk about certain things like children and finances and work and living arrangements and everything etc etc
so if one party had PS then shouldn't they disclose that information before marriage (or at least when things got serious???) so the other party gets informed consent???
I mean visuals and looks are important in any relationship - is it the most important? I dunno - I mean does anybody say "I married my partner despite their looks" that would be a horrible thing to say no? lol

for most people even if looks aren't the "most important" thing they certainly rank up there no?
I only used visuals as one example of a personal preference but it can also happen for any other type of preference - the issue isn't the looks per se but the failure to disclose something important

 

[gone4good]

I mean visuals and looks are important in any relationship - is it the most important? I dunno

MONEY !!

 

[Ahsoka]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with PS. In fact, it's common practice in SK, not just for idols!
Like I said, its not what you did in your past life that bothers me, hell, I don't give a damn! (including PS).
Its the mere fact that you won't consider discussing it with me on the basis that you are considering spending the rest of your natural life with me! That's the problem!! Open and say "Ahhh" or hit the road!! LMAOOO

If your problem is with people lying about it then we have no disagreement. My posts just boil down to its not a crime, it doesn’t change anything, and therefore I don’t see why you need to begin every date with a new person with “by the way I’ve had plastic surgery. Thought you should know because apparently I have to warn anyone who I might be with”. But actually lying is different. Purposeful omission is sucky too but I just don’t see why plastic surgery is so deeply important that you need to warn people that you’ve had some

 

[Selfmate]

If the person was adamant that they wanted a pretty face for pretty kids and told their partner that before marriage and the partner still didn’t say anything yeah that’s pretty bad. Something with drug/alcohol problems could affect both of them in the future so that would be important to disclose. The fact that your lips are plumper and it cost some money doesn’t seem to be something where both parties will be affected in most cases unless in the case above, where it’s not obvious whether that happened to begin with

interesting so your point is that you don't consider PS to be a big enough "lying by deceit" ? I can understand your perspective

your argument would be there are SOME issues which the failure to disclose would be considered lying and big enough to warrant disclosure but you just think that PS doesn't reach that level - am I correct vikki?

 

[Selfmate]

MONEY !!

I ain't saying Nyaz is a

 

[Ahsoka]

right on the same page means some sort of informed consent no?
like a couple should talk about certain things like children and finances and work and living arrangements and everything etc etc
so if one party had PS then shouldn't they disclose that information before marriage (or at least when things got serious???) so the other party gets informed consent???
I mean visuals and looks are important in any relationship - is it the most important? I dunno - I mean does anybody say "I married my partner despite their looks" that would be a horrible thing to say no? lol

for most people even if looks aren't the "most important" thing they certainly rank up there no?
I only used visuals as one example of a personal preference but it can also happen for any other type of preference - the issue isn't the looks per se but the failure to disclose something important

Informed consent is important for important things yeah. I don’t view plastic surgery as important enough for that. After all, informed consent about your blankie color when you were 5 would be silly no? That’s why I don’t view ps as something that important that it needs to be mentioned. Many things don’t make the informed consent cut after all.

 

[Ahsoka]

interesting so your point is that you don't consider PS to be a big enough "lying by deceit" ? I can understand your perspective

your argument would be there are SOME issues which the failure to disclose would be considered lying and big enough to warrant disclosure but you just think that PS doesn't reach that level - am I correct vikki?

Yes exactly. Not mentioning plastic surgery is as terrible as not mentioning you prefer your eggs Sunny side up (though I think they’d know the eggs bit). Important things to discuss exist but I don’t view plastic surgery as one of them

 

[gone4good]

If your problem is with people lying about it then we have no disagreement. My posts just boil down to its not a crime, it doesn’t change anything, and therefore I don’t see why you need to begin every date with a new person with “by the way I’ve had plastic surgery. Thought you should know because apparently I have to warn anyone who I might be with”. But actually lying is different. Purposeful omission is sucky too but I just don’t see why plastic surgery is so deeply important that you need to warn people that you’ve had some

Not a date, i'm not THAT desperate! But after a while, when things get serious, when the s*x craze is over with and you begin to grocery shop together, pay bills together, clean the flat together...... then and only then, its a good idea to begin to consider that this person might be interested in what you have to say about your past lives! Because in the end, its also a good way to ensure that he's truly the one for you! A husband has to be your BEST friend, not just a good lay or a moneymaker! And Best friends have no secrets!

When I'll find a dude like that, I'll marry him on the spot! It hasn't happened yet!

 

[gone4good]

I ain't saying Nyaz is a

No thank you! I've got my own "dough"! I don't need his! lmaoo

 

[Selfmate]

Yes exactly. Not mentioning plastic surgery is as terrible as not mentioning you prefer your eggs Sunny side up (though I think they’d know the eggs bit). Important things to discuss exist but I don’t view plastic surgery as one of them

I can understand your perspective my friend - we agree with the underlying issue that yes lying by deceit is bad but we just differ as to what issue would be bad enough to constitute it

 

[Ahsoka]

Not a date, i'm not THAT desperate! But after a while, when things get serious, when the s*x craze is over with and being to grocery shop together, pay bills together, clean the flat together...... then and only then, its a good idea to being to consider that this person might be interested in what you have to say about your past lives! Because in the end, its also a good way to ensure that he's truly the one for you! A husband has to be your BEST friend, not just a good lay or a moneymaker! And Best friends have no secrets!

When I'll find a dude like that, I'll marry him on the spot! It hasn't happened yet!

I’m still confused whether you mean that people who lie about having plastic surgery suck or people who don’t warn potential partners that they’ve had ps unprompted and ina timely manner suck when the other person has made no effort to get that information themselves.

 

[Selfmate]

When I'll find a dude like that, I'll marry him on the spot! It hasn't happened yet!

I'm sure you'll find someone for you my friend

No thank you! I've got my own "dough"! I don't need his! lmaoo

I ain't saying HE's a golddigger!!!

 

[gone4good]

I’m still confused whether you mean that people who lie about having plastic surgery suck or people who don’t warn potential partners that they’ve had ps unprompted and ina timely manner suck when the other person has made no effort to get that information themselves.

I never mentioned anything about it being a lie! Nor am i saying that PS is wrong (again). All I'm saying is that PS is a major life event! HUGE! and major life events should be brought forward when you want jump on the life train with someone. Its the very least you can do if you expect them to treat you with the same amount of respect throughout good and bad times!

In a nutshell, if you love me, give it to me! Don't pretend that you are someone you're not and don't let me find out about it after we've been hooked up for 20 years! Because in my mind, if you kept some of it undisclosed, you kept ALL of it undisclosed! And while it wouldn't change a thing about our 20 years together, there's now a remote possibility that you may also have undisclosed stuff while we were together! If you were like that then, what on earth doesn't tell me that you are like that now? So yeah, nothing to do with PS (again), its about the TRUTH! lol