We should be kinder towards idols who are struggling with mental health and life (hate comments, trigger warning)) (1 Viewer)

[blueberries]

Writing that title it seems pretty obvious to me and not only towards idols and those who seem to be struggling, but towards everyone ofc, but i guess topic of this thread is hate comments that idols who have stated they are currently having hard time receive. Cause often when there is idol saying that they are depressed, don't feel good, need time off etc. they are met with hate comments both from knetz and inetz in general too- not all knetz are bad and not all inetz are good. This even happens to people who have attempted suicide.

Couple examples from netizenbuzz since that's easiest place to find this kind of content:

Article: "I wish someone would ask how I'm doing" Leeteuk reveals his loneliness in the 2018 year-end"
"Spending my year-end working, resting, and with Koongie. I don't drink anymore so no one invites me out. Too lazy to go out anyway. It's cold. I just need conversation, I wish people would ask me how I'm doing on Katalk. I don't expect much, just a 'good work, how's it going'. Not disappointed or anything, I just hope everything works out for everyone in 2019."
2. [+1,726, -54] ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Why don't you ask first ㅋㅋㅋ isn't this basically acting like an attention wh*re? ㅋㅋ
3. [+1,285, -41] Yeonwoo-ya..
5. [+130, -1] Why don't you send a message... how are you this old and still acting like this? Why don't you refrain from sending DMs to female idols.
6. [+130, -1] He seems like such a cheap person... guys like him are the worst types to marry.

Goo Hara posts ambiguous SNS message "Hello/Bye"... netizens concerned
Note: This was just before her suicide attempt.

1. [+224, -25] She'll look back on this in a few years and cringe
2. [+122, -11] Attention wh*re...
4. [+21, -4] Hara doesn't seem to be able to see the forest behind the tree. She always causes short-sighted scandals over her emotions.
-> after this the comments were more positive for while, but quickly have become hate comments again about her looks and her promoting in Japan like nth ever happened

Big Bang TOP clarifies sick leave perks "I have a panic disorder"
1. [+1,564, -19] Not with the panic disorders again... then why didn't you submit a doctor's note? Anyone who's served would know how hard it is to line up your vacation days like this, especially when you aren't a senior ㅋㅋㅋ Even when you have vacation days to use, most people are scared of using them when there are people missing in their unit. And yet he was able to line his up so perfectly like this? Not once but twice? This is a perk.
2. [+1,438, -30] I'm sick of Big Bang, just a group of trash
3. [+880, -19] They really are the biggest trash in Korean idol history...
4. [+306, -14] You mean you were taking a break to do drugs?

TOP's mother cried twice at reports claiming TOP "snored in his sleep"
1. [+1,739, -291] What's wrong with his mother? Does she not get that her son did drugs? She should be reprimanding her son for doing drugs, not acting like this
4. [+115, -11] Yeah well the public laughed 10 times at hearing that he snored in his sleep ㅋ
Note: this was after overdose before he received conciousness
8. [+57, -3] She should be embarrassed for acting like this. Her son's fine but she keeps acting like he's in a critical condition where he won't wake up with all this media play.
9. [+52, -6] Knock it off, ajumma, starting to piss me off
Note: this was after overdose before he regained conciousness. It has been 2 years, but people still make fun of his overdose.


These are just some examples, but ofc there is lot. But i find it worst when plp answer with hate when someone is having hard time, doesn't that just make them and idols trying bottle up and act like nothing is wrong? It's disgusting to beat people down when they are already down and almost out of fight.

We all need to be more understanding and forgiving to each other. Though it doesn't matter to just say this whenever something tragic happens, maybe be more courteous a while after and then change back to what it was.. i'm not sure if hate comments like that will ever go away. But we should definitely be more aware of impacts that comments can have on people, especially when they are struggling and try to be more critical towards such comments, they aren't acceptable.

 

[RandAlThor]

If folks are looking for help from random faceless strangers or letting the same impact their happiness to this large of an extent i am puzzled.
Sure warm fuzzes are nice, but your life is your own .
Choose to surround yourself with those who empower or edify you when at all possible.
The internet self selects jerks; if people are looking for overwhelming kindness from any of those platforms ... bad idea.

Honestly some stars need to change their habits i can not remember how may say the first thing they do waking up is check their name online.
This is not a good thing btw.
So many of the entertainers have multiple controlled interactions where is almost assured to be 100% positive, prioritize those stage performances ect.
The problem is all that attention gets to be a drug and some are addicted to it just like any other drug.

 

[Evergreen]

All these Knetzs who are calling depressed idols attention seekers, are actually the ones who make all these comments for likes and clouts. I guess that something is wrong in theirs lifes too otherwise they wouldn’t be so hateful. Realeasing your frustration on someone that you don’t even know is not the solution.

 

[blueberries]

If folks are looking for help from random faceless strangers or letting the same impact their happiness to this large of an extent i am puzzled.
Sure warm fuzzes are nice, but your life is your own .
Choose to surround yourself with those who empower or edify you when at all possible.
The internet self selects jerks; if people are looking for overwhelming kindness from any of those platforms ... bad idea.

Honestly some stars need to change their habits i can not remember how may say the first thing they do waking up is check their name online.
This is not a good thing btw.
So many of the entertainers have multiple controlled interactions where is almost assured to be 100% positive, prioritize those stage performances ect.
The problem is all that attention gets to be a drug and some are addicted to it just like any other drug.

I agree somewhat, but I don't think it's as easy. People simply look for acceptance from social media these days, how many likes you get on your selfie and those kind of things. No matter how harmful, the idols and their parents will keep reading hate comments. Ofc, if someone is already deppressed and suicidal it would be their best interest to just prevent them from getting into social media, but I guess people are just too curious and too focused on what other people think of them. So while it can be solution, I'm not sure how viable it will be.

 

[RandAlThor]

I agree somewhat, but I don't think it's as easy. People simply look for acceptance from social media these days, how many likes you get on your selfie and those kind of things. No matter how harmful, the idols and their parents will keep reading hate comments. Ofc, if someone is already deppressed and suicidal it would be their best interest to just prevent them from getting into social media, but I guess people are just too curious and too focused on what other people think of them. So while it can be solution, I'm not sure how viable it will be.

Then i am sorry to say its self inflicted and i am hard pressed to feel sorry for them.
If beating your head against a wall hurts ... Stop. Its an easy concept.

The kind of overarching government control and staffing it would take to police the entire internet is not possible. I do not think anything other than a max totalitarian government could even come close, and they would do it by have 1 or 2 sites period with a nation wide firewall to limit access.

 

[Abeamus]

I think this is kind of a hard topic to know how to tackle as there is a certain line between fans and celebrities that make it hard to even though people say they aren't just normal people we never really treat them like that which makes the thought of me just messaging one of them and striking up a conversation seem strange and I think that's a hard thing to get rid of it.

Another problem is that is that some people need support to get them through things as not everyone can survive alone but we live in a society where you are expected to be independent so people who need support can have a hard time because of it.

Lastly there's the obvious that there are people who will just be assholes and think "iT's mY oPiNiOn aNd i gOt tHe rIgHt" which doesn't excuse being a jerk who helps absolutely no one so I do think companies and idols needs to find ways how to handle things in a healthy way which I saw a clip from a live YooA did which gave me hope that one day other companies can make idols feel this way too.

 

[RandAlThor]

If someone really is addicted to that kind of attention though, then stopping isn't something they can do without the proper support. People in that position who read comments that just tell them to stop and get over it are only going to feel worse about everything. The message that reaches their brain isn't, "I need to get my act together," it's, "I'm such a loser, what's wrong with me?"

I know you're only stating your opinion, but I don't think I'm replying entirely to you, to be honest. Just wanting to point out what I think about all this...

Sure but the solution there is not make the bad folks go away but to change ones self.
Granted some are way over the line and need harsh action.

First step - no one posts who is not using their real id to get an account on a set of social media that the fans and artist use.
Zero possibility for anonymity, every comment follows you for life.

second zero - out of country connections allowed until there is a similar way to validate poster identity.

This kills a significant chunk of the SM interaction platforms but would put a choke hold on bad behavior.

 

[BlingyBlinger]

Just going to throw out that self destructive tendencies can be extremely difficult to break and without the proper support, almost impossible. As someone who had been there for a long time with nobody to lean on myself, I don't blame them at all. And as nice as it would be for them to ditch social media alltogether that's not as easy as it sounds when pretty much everyone is using them and some companies are even pushing artists to have them

 

[yeji]

I agree we all have to be kinder and more understanding in general. We also should start treating idols like humans. They deserve no hate. Everyone makes mistakes and that‘s something we should keep in mind when it comes to idols too.

 

[blurryface]

i cant believe how people are. you can dislike someone, you can hate someone, nobody has to love everybody. but, YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO SHARE IT IN A PLACE THAT HUMAN CAN SEE. YOU JUST SHOULDNT. its disgusting. i still cant believe there are people who enjoy with others pain.