What is something that you hate hearing people say? (1 Viewer)

[Mangoey]

I hate it when adults say that something doesn't matter because someone is young. I think it's such a dumb excuse to not help someone solve their problems.
Just because something isn't going to matter in ten years doesn't mean that it doesn't matter now.​

 

[brekker]

I hate it when adults say that something doesn't matter because someone is young. I think it's such a dumb excuse to not help someone solve their problems.
Just because something isn't going to matter in ten years doesn't mean that it doesn't matter now.​

while that is true, sometimes it really means "don´t dwell on things that are not important and take it easy". it does not always have to be derogatory. a lot of people, no matter the age, stress over things that seriously don´t matter at all - grades, the number of partners, who loses virginity first, not knowing how to apply make up at 12 etc.

 

[Tickita]

I haven't heard this in a while but, "Sleep when you're dead" is the only thing that comes to mind right now.

 

[SnowWhite]

Bringing excuses for doing sh*t like bullying or saying ignorant stuff or acting extremely immature just because you were under 18 once up on the time. Teens are old enough to realize what's immoral, duh.

 

[Mangoey]

while that is true, sometimes it really means "don´t dwell on things that are not important and take it easy". it does not always have to be derogatory. a lot of people, no matter the age, stress over things that seriously don´t matter at all - grades, the number of partners, who loses virginity first, not knowing how to apply make up at 12 etc.

For sure, those things aren't exactly important and I don't think it's being said in a derogatory way, but I don't think just saying that something won't matter in the future is a good way to help a kid through things that they are struggling with.

In highschool, I've complained to my parents about this sort of stuff before and they would always respond with the same things: "Don't worry about it. It isn't going to matter in the future" or "it's just kids being kids". These responses have always given me more frustration than anything. Like okay, I know it isn't going to matter later, but I'm still asking you for help now. Please help me instead of brushing my matters aside like that.

 

[brekker]

For sure, those things aren't exactly important and I don't think it's being said in a derogatory way, but I don't think just saying that something won't matter in the future is a good way to help a kid through things that they are struggling with.

In highschool, I've complained to my parents about this sort of stuff before and they would always respond with the same things: "Don't worry about it. It isn't going to matter in the future" or "it's just kids being kids". These responses have always given me more frustration than anything. Like okay, I know it isn't going to matter later, but I'm still asking you for help now. Please help me instead of brushing my matters aside like that.

it´s about a different points of view. they weren´t really brushing them off, you see, they were simply trying to tell you to take it easy. but when people are young they need everything now and they want a solution to everything. that doesn´t happen in real life. just because something is not pleasant (frustration), we shouldn´t get rid of it. being frustrated is not a bad thing, teaching your child overcoming that frustration is not a bad thing. sometimes things don´t have solutions. sometimes people are just too tired to think about such small issues. I think these days people are afraid of being uncomfortable, frustated or angry, but shouldn´t we be able to deal with such frustrations? sometimes parents are not gonna help you and you have to do that yourself. and look at you! you were angry, frustrated, but I´m sure you have made it :).

on the other hand, nothing is ever black and white. if the issue is being bullied or something serious, brushing it off is a no-no. that´s another thing. I hope it was nothing that serious.

 

[Mangoey]

it´s about a different points of view. they weren´t really brushing them off, you see, they were simply trying to tell you to take it easy. but when people are young they need everything now and they want a solution to everything. that doesn´t happen in real life. just because something is not pleasant (frustration), we shouldn´t get rid of it. being frustrated is not a bad thing, teaching your child overcoming that frustration is not a bad thing. sometimes things don´t have solutions. sometimes people are just too tired to think about such small issues. I think these days people are afraid of being uncomfortable, frustated or angry, but shouldn´t we be able to deal with such frustrations? sometimes parents are not gonna help you and you have to do that yourself. and look at you! you were angry, frustrated, but I´m sure you have made it :).

on the other hand, nothing is ever black and white. if the issue is being bullied or something serious, brushing it off is a no-no. that´s another thing. I hope it was nothing that serious.

let's agree to disagree then 😅

I definitely like how you've explained things and I can see your point of view, but ultimately I still would've liked some help or at least some other words of comfort besides something like "it'll be okay" from my parents. It's probably not like this for everyone, but I personally don't like asking for help unless there really isn't anything else I can do and I especially don't like asking my parents for help on matters that don't involve them. So, prior to me venting my frustrations to them and asking for advice, I'd already dealt with a lot of stress, anger, etc. And it wasn't just on one issue in one instance, on pretty much every little thing I vented to them about that they thought wasn't really important, they replied with the same responses.

And I underlined that because it was specifically about things that they thought didn't matter. Not that I really think it was important or would matter later on either? But I think it's important to make that distinction.

It probably varies from case to case, cause learning to deal with uncomfortable feelings is definitely something that everyone needs to learn. But, I think some people have to realize that just because you told someone to not stress over something, it doesn't mean that they will magically stop stressing. For my parents at least, I wish they could've at least helped me deal with things a little the first time I went to them and then let me figure it out on my own, or made it clear that they were there to support me. Cause to me, it just felt like they were brushing me off with their words. It didn't have to be a solution, I would've been completely fine with just a conversation about their own personal experiences on similar matters or even something else to help me get my mind off of things.

 

[mysteric]

I'm sorry if I hurt you, keyword if
I'd rather a blunt and short apology (or none at all) than a half assed one: at least those two options show some degree of genuinity

 

[Yonk]

When they say you're too young to know something

 

[RandAlThor]

i hate adds or supposedly intelligent people using and/or as it it were a word. let alone or includes and genius.

 

[RandAlThor]

When they say you're too young to know something

in many cases that is similar to the above complaint about life problems. What they really mean is it just does not matter long term or is impactful in a useful fashion for some amount of time.
OFC it could mean i do not care and do not bother me kid )

 

[brekker]

let's agree to disagree then 😅

I definitely like how you've explained things and I can see your point of view, but ultimately I still would've liked some help or at least some other words of comfort besides something like "it'll be okay" from my parents. It's probably not like this for everyone, but I personally don't like asking for help unless there really isn't anything else I can do and I especially don't like asking my parents for help on matters that don't involve them. So, prior to me venting my frustrations to them and asking for advice, I'd already dealt with a lot of stress, anger, etc. And it wasn't just on one issue in one instance, on pretty much every little thing I vented to them about that they thought wasn't really important, they replied with the same responses.

And I underlined that because it was specifically about things that they thought didn't matter. Not that I really think it was important or would matter later on either? But I think it's important to make that distinction.

It probably varies from case to case, cause learning to deal with uncomfortable feelings is definitely something that everyone needs to learn. But, I think some people have to realize that just because you told someone to not stress over something, it doesn't mean that they will magically stop stressing. For my parents at least, I wish they could've at least helped me deal with things a little the first time I went to them and then let me figure it out on my own, or made it clear that they were there to support me. Cause to me, it just felt like they were brushing me off with their words. It didn't have to be a solution, I would've been completely fine with just a conversation about their own personal experiences on similar matters or even something else to help me get my mind off of things.

fair enough, but just one thing .... you not being able to ask for help is the problem here. asking for help, knowing when you can´t handle things yourself is a thing. because honestly who was at wrong here? you who couldn´t express what you needed or them because they didn´t grasp the situation correctly? I think it´s fair to say ... both.

here is the thing, that I actually hate when people do "expecting others to have some sort of reading abilities of their minds" :D. like how am I to know what are you thinking? what you need? what you want? I sometimes feel like this is a stereotypically feminine thing to say. this whole "how are you? are you ok?" and the angry answer of "yes!" despite actually consuming your own anger inside you. why? perhaps more people should be straight forward and just say what pisses them off. it helps the situation massively. but just because you are not able to ask for help doesn´t mean, you can expect me to read your mind.

but seeing your way of thinking, I´d expect your kids are gonna be very lucky to have you as their parent.

 

[burnenemy]

whining that their partner does not go crazy about them when they do not even try to be attractive

 

[Deleted member 74]

"You'll feel better one day"
"I know you better than you know yourself"
And it's funny because these words aren't even rooted in ill intent so there's nothing I can do but nod and smile. Just anything people say to me when I talk about my depression I hate, so I try to not talk about it.

 

[Mangoey]

"You'll feel better one day"
"I know you better than you know yourself"
And it's funny because these words aren't even rooted in ill intent so there's nothing I can do but nod and smile. Just anything people say to me when I talk about my depression I hate, so I try to not talk about it.

This is unrelated to the thread, but hey Bina!
I haven't seen you around or interacted with you in a while. I hope you're doing well

 

[Deleted member 74]

This is unrelated to the thread, but hey Bina!
I haven't seen you around or interacted with you in a while. I hope you're doing well

Hi hi <3 It's been a while since I came here, I've been getting by c:
How about you?

 

[Mangoey]

Hi hi <3 It's been a while since I came here, I've been getting by c:
How about you?

I've been doing okay as well ^^
Online school is a lot but it seems like things are slowly getting better.

 

[ChiaraStar169]

I'm sorry if I hurt you, keyword if
I'd rather a blunt and short apology (or none at all) than a half assed one: at least those two options show some degree of genuinity

Can you elaborate? I've been saying "I'm sorry if..." all the time; is that a social no-no?

 

[ChiaraStar169]

When Slimin' Bowels (you know who I mean lol) was on Idol and he and the others were putting contestants through to the live shows, he and his British ass would be like "[insert name], you're through." I always hated that bc it could also mean "It's over for you". You know what I'm saying???

Also, "Who knows who better" - isn't is supposed to be "Who knows WHOM better"???

 

[Yili]

I think I've mentioned this before but anything condescending on twitter like
"Let that sink in"
It may not be the intention of the user of the phrase but to me it always comes off as someone saying, "I'm smarter than you to notice and point out this thing so let your dumb brain take a bit and ingest what I just said to you that is so intelligent"