When your identity shatters (2 Viewers)

[Day]

What do you do?


Last month, I decided to leave my workplace and transfer to another location in the same position. Well, I got to this location, and decided that I hated it. I like my job, 100%, but I hate the atmosphere at this new location. I hate the two managers I work with, and the store is way too... careless? carefree? It needs a lot of TLC and I commute 2 hours to work here. That's four hours driving time total to work here.


I decided to call up another location, not my previous, but the same company in the same town, and they offered me a full time position. But, I previously worked a management position and my identity now is to be a manager. I am scared for my identity to be a full time employee... doesn't that feel like a dead end? I'm so scared to work there. I'm scared to never be promoted again. I decided that if I went back to school I can justify stepping down (I don't have a degree since when I got promoted to management it was too much work), but the earliest I can go back is spring since I missed the fall deadline.

Feel free to tell me that 20 is too young to be freaking out already. I need comfort, because right now all I feel is anxiety and I can't justify stepping down. All my friends are managers, and my best friend just got promoted to management. I feel left behind, and I desperately feel the need to catch up. I don't have much happiness anymore because all I do outside of work is worry about what I'll do with my life.

 

[RandAlThor]

What do you do?


Last month, I decided to leave my workplace and transfer to another location in the same position. Well, I got to this location, and decided that I hated it. I like my job, 100%, but I hate the atmosphere at this new location. I hate the two managers I work with, and the store is way too... careless? carefree? It needs a lot of TLC and I commute 2 hours to work here. That's four hours driving time total to work here.


I decided to call up another location, not my previous, but the same company in the same town, and they offered me a full time position. But, I previously worked a management position and my identity now is to be a manager. I am scared for my identity to be a full time employee... doesn't that feel like a dead end? I'm so scared to work there. I'm scared to never be promoted again. I decided that if I went back to school I can justify stepping down (I don't have a degree since when I got promoted to management it was too much work), but the earliest I can go back is spring since I missed the fall deadline.

Feel free to tell me that 20 is too young to be freaking out already. I need comfort, because right now all I feel is anxiety and I can't justify stepping down. All my friends are managers, and my best friend just got promoted to management. I feel left behind, and I desperately feel the need to catch up. I don't have much happiness anymore because all I do outside of work is worry about what I'll do with my life.

Well a 2 hour drive is a nightmare i did that for a time but never again.
it just destroys ya mentally.

 

[Day]

Well a 2 hour drive is a nightmare i did that for a time but never again.
it just destroys ya mentally.

Also I have a lot of points right now so if I'm late once, I get a 3 day suspension and if I call in I'm terminated

 

[RandAlThor]

Also I have a lot of points right now so if I'm late once, I get a 3 day suspension and if I call in I'm terminated

yep that drive snowballs and it makes dealing with the crap at work much much harder.

 

[Day]

yep that drive snowballs and it makes dealing with the crap at work much much harder.

When you did it, why did you? For me, I'm doing this for the pay (fills up gas tank daily). Did you find people that made it worth it?

 

[RandAlThor]

When you did it, why did you? For me, I'm doing this for the pay (fills up gas tank daily). Did you find people that made it worth it?

Supposedly it was a short term until i could be a traveling training manager but the company went bankrupt and closed all locations except in its home state. put 50k miles on the car in a bit over a year.

Lol they shut it down while i was on vacation in Hawaii.

Some of my current co workers had that drive pre pandemic and they were only coming in 1 or 2 times a week as it was.

its gotta be stupid upside to put your self thru it.

At the beginning you dont know just how much it will mess with ya, but its is crazy brutal.
Make you whole life totally unfun add a work env that is unfun and your attitude just implodes.

 

[Day]

Supposedly it was a short term until i could be a traveling training manager but the company went bankrupt and closed all locations except in its home state. put 50k miles on the car in a bit over a year.

Lol they shut it down while i was on vacation in Hawaii.

Some of my current co workers had that drive pre pandemic and they were only coming in 1 or 2 times a week as it was.

its gotta be stupid upside to put your self thru it.

At the beginning you dont know just how much it will mess with ya, but its is crazy brutal.
Make you whole life totally unfun add a work env that is unfun and your attitude just implodes.

I get that definitely. When I have to open the store (retail), I have to wake up at 3AM. When they schedule me to close and then open, I get home at 12AM and wake up again at 3AM. And then, after everything, I come home to my mom who yells at me for not putting my clothes in my closet or for leaving 2 pairs of shoes by the door. I am on edge 24/7 but I still feel insecure about the position being full time and not management. Maybe I'll change my mind when I get there and relax a little.

 

[RandAlThor]

I get that definitely. When I have to open the store (retail), I have to wake up at 3AM. When they schedule me to close and then open, I get home at 12AM and wake up again at 3AM. And then, after everything, I come home to my mom who yells at me for not putting my clothes in my closet or for leaving 2 pairs of shoes by the door. I am on edge 24/7 but I still feel insecure about the position being full time and not management. Maybe I'll change my mind when I get there and relax a little.

yep its awful. it was worse than running a 24 / 7 business but i am done with both.
lol i totally changed to just an office job cuz i was so tired of the least motivated person running my life.

i loved teaching kids to work and the pace of those crazy jobs but man it was life sucking. Canceling my life cuz someone did not want to/could not work.

 

[Day]

yep its awful. it was worse than running a 24 / 7 business but i am done with both.
lol i totally changed to just an office job cuz i was so tired of the least motivated person running my life.

i loved teaching kids to work and the pace of those crazy jobs but man it was life sucking.

I want out of retail tbh

 

[RandAlThor]

I want out of retail tbh

its a crazy hard life managing gives some control but the political climate is against ya.
As the last person in charge you are left holding the bag and you life does not matter no matter what cute buzz words are popular.
like work life balance or mental health ect.

and ya have to massively over pay is so many places now and the employees are still iffy.

 

[RandAlThor]

You cant over staff cuz ya gotta meet the labor goals, so your are always right on the edge. And it gets worse the more full time people you have.
Life is easier if you have mostly partimers fighting for the hours, but then they leave . its a constant struggle since labor is such a huge bottom line expense.

 

[dnb]

All my friends are managers, and my best friend just got promoted to management. I feel left behind, and I desperately feel the need to catch up.

Please don't feel the need to "catch up". Figure out what makes you happy and stay in that lane. If you don't enjoy being a manager, don't go that route. Promotion at work is not the only path to success; you can transfer to another job in a different company (with a different culture) or go back to school.

If all your friends were, say, kindergarten teachers instead of managers, what would you want to do?