You aren't as annoying as you think (some food for thought). (1 Viewer)

[Mayday]

I've struggled with self-image for majority of my life until recently, and it kinda made me think...


We aren't as annoying as we think we are. Ever. In fact, we're the most annoying when we're trying NOT to be annoying. I'm sure we were all that clingy, irritating friend at some point, but why do we keep focusing on how people treated us back then when we've clearly changed? For some reason I myself act kinda weary around people who I annoyed years ago and feel like they still have this view on me. If we viewed ourselves as we viewed others we wouldn't be so harsh on ourselves. I was looking at some of my older posts from 2-3 years ago and I noticed how hard I tried to seem like a really clean cut person. The thing is, I never actually came off the way I wanted to because it wasn't me. I'm an energetic person and no amount of masking is going to be able to hide that. My view on myself is kinda tarnished due to OCD to begin with, but another thing we need to realize is that mental disorders are bound to make us dislike ourselves at some point. You're probably 40% less annoying as you think you are. I know we especially feel like this when we text someone and they give us a dry answer or leave us on read. It kinda feels like we're taking up their time, but realistically, as much as you want to be a part of someone's life, some people really aren't worth your time. We may seem annoying to some people, but how is that actually relevant to our progression as a person and our contribution to society? Being annoying doesn't make you a bad person. There's always someone that is going to find our energy level, our talkativeness, or our ego annoying. One person finding you annoying doesn't make you, as a person, annoying. Five people finding you annoying doesn't make you annoying. We really need to stop defining ourselves by others view on us. Half of the time, people who think they're annoying are really not annoying at all. This doesn't mean to overstep your boundaries and constantly bother people, try to adjust yourself if someone expresses you're making them uncomfortable or irritated.


Basically what I'm saying is that you aren't as annoying as you think. We're exaggerating our views of ourselves in our head solely because we strive to be someone we really aren't. You're never going to be happy with yourself until you cannot accept that you are NOT your ideal person. What fun is being your ideal person anyway? I find it a lot more enjoyable living with myself and improving my weaknesses then pretending that my only weaknesses are the fact that I am myself (which I can not do anything about). I see so many beautiful personalities silencing themselves for the comfort of others and it really shows. They aren't even themselves anymore. It's like smearing a bunch of color on a beautiful black and white painting and mixing all the colors together. You're never going to be annoying as Mark Lee.

Spoiler: Not relevant but kinda

I've suffered with maladaptive daydreaming (aka a daydreaming addiction) due to my OCD since I was about 12 and I've only recently been able to control my addiction. In my daydreams, I would imagine this perfect version of myself with a perfect life and all, as most people do. However, being addicted to viewing yourself as perfect made me realize how cool I actually am. Being perfect isn't fun at all. There's no room for growth, and longing for something you can't have can literally break you. Realizing I am never going to be my ideal self was like a slap in the face. Obviously not everyone is a maladaptive daydreamer, but I feel that some people's obsession with being their ideal self relates in the same way that it's extremely damaging and I wanted to bring up how important it is to change your mindset.

This idea just kinda came up on a whim and I just thought it was important to share my thoughts lol. I've never actually made a serious thread so bare with the length of this.

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[Mayday]

I can't find it rn but I saw a thing that went like this once

Low expectations- high results- extremely happy
Low expectations- low results- okay
Low expectations- medium results- sad
Medium expectations- high results- happy
medium expectations- low results- sad
medium expectations- medium results- okay
High expectations- high results- okay
High expectations- low results- extremely sad
High expectations- medium results- sad

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

i hv always admired u Mayah for ur posts n active-ness after i first joined KS, i was intimidated by most OG KS users cos u seemed like such a close-knit grp with well formed connection, i was afraid of bein intrusive then till l8r on if i just burst into ongoing threads/profiles/cross posts. Lmao. I did try n make some friendships along the way but not sure how well i did at it. Ig my social anxiety/fear of being this exact thing being Annoying(more like intrusive/breaking into a conversation in threads/profiles between friends , for me) kept me from posting more (in ur threads/profile) or i woulda known u were such an awesome gfx edit queen/goddess b4. Thnx for posting/saying this so i might learn from it.

 

[Mayday]

i hv always admired u Mayah for ur posts n active-ness after i first joined KS, i was intimidated by most OG KS users cos u seemed like such a close-knit grp with well formed connection, i was afraid of bein intrusive then till l8r on if i just burst into ongoing threads/profiles/cross posts. Lmao. I did try n make some friendships along the way but not sure how well i did at it. Ig my social anxiety/fear of being this exact thing being Annoying(more like intrusive/breaking into a conversation in threads/profiles between friends , for me) kept me from posting more (in ur threads/profile) or i woulda known u were such an awesome gfx edit queen/goddess b4. Thnx for posting/saying this so i might learn from it.

its crazy to think anyone viewed me that way and im glad you life my gfx- thank you!

its definitely scary going into a group of OGs or a close group, so i really respect you being able to overcome that. i think everyone looks up to you too though, i never found you annoying and i doubt anyone else did. you're a very respectable person. you contributing to a conversation would make it x10 better, it definitely wouldn't be intrusive.

im glad this thread could help you!

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

its crazy to think anyone viewed me that way and im glad you life my gfx- thank you!

its definitely scary going into a group of OGs or a close group, so i really respect you being able to overcome that. i think everyone looks up to you too though, i never found you annoying and i doubt anyone else did. you're a very respectable person. you contributing to a conversation would make it x10 better, it definitely wouldn't be intrusive.

im glad this thread could help you!

Its more like i took little steps n being among first 200 members of KS along with so many new users helped a lot, since so many of us were new then.

I tried my best, as i said i dont think of it as being annoying-more like second guessing if being intrusive/mostly ignorant abt 3rd/4th gen kpop/bgs would be taken as annoying to the OG/new KS users who joined at same time or l8r: the activity lvl n engagement when i joined rlly helped too-high enuf for me to relax, n not so much tat i couldnt keep up with threads i was interested in. Also the events/users were interesting n super nice to noob me then. Then life happened to KS forum n we all had to grow up n some left n new ones joined, i hope i wasnt annoying to most of the new(-er) users but as u said, nobody can control 100% how we come off to others(im paraphrasing) so i just wanted to say tat n thank you n thnx to all the users on KS- ur awesome.
Edit: im glad u had this insight into urself(n shared it with us).

 

[Mayday]

Its more like i took little steps n being among first 200 members of KS along with so many new users helped a lot, since so many of us were new then.

I tried my best, as i said i dont think of it as being annoying-more like second guessing if being intrusive/mostly ignorant abt 3rd/4th gen kpop/bgs would be taken as annoying to the OG/new KS users who joined at same time or l8r: the activity lvl n engagement when i joined rlly helped too-high enuf for me to relax, n not so much tat i couldnt keep up with threads i was interested in. Also the events/users were interesting n super nice to noob me then. Then life happened to KS forum n we all had to grow up n some left n new ones joined, i hope i wasnt annoying to most of the new(-er) users but as u said, nobody can control 100% how we come off to others(im paraphrasing) so i just wanted to say tat n thank you n thnx to all the users on KS- ur awesome.
Edit: im glad u had this insight into urself(n shared it with us).

Thank you as well! You've definitely been a very interesting and entertaining person to interact with.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

Thank you as well! You've definitely been a very interesting and entertaining person to interact with.

Thank you. I cant rmbr all the OG user interactions i had, since most of past yr has been with non OG users but i learned a lot n found it all worthwhile. Even the non OG users too ofc. HaHaHa.

 

[Mayday]

Thank you. I cant rmbr all the OG user interactions i had, since most of past yr has been with non OG users but i learned a lot n found it all worthwhile. Even the non OG users too ofc. HaHaHa.

I never even realized I was an OG. It was all the same to me.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

I never even realized I was an OG. It was all the same to me.

Anybody who joined BY CHOICE b4 other kpop forums crashed n necesstitated our finding other outlets to kvetch/share our thots about kpop is by definition a OG KS user, cosmic nim even gave you all 1st gen badges LOL(I only managed to join n got 2nd gen badges n was lucky since KS gen badges dint get given after 3rd?/4th KS gen) it was rlly small but intense community then lmao, the 20+plus posts in 1 minute by 2 users was so amazing to me, unlike other (non kpop) forums id been on b4 then. Without ks i might not hv liked other ggs than snsd, so i can credit/blame KS OG users(or whoever made threads/posts abt them then) with me getting into BP GF EG n indirectly(?) RV:IS OMG GIDLE. So thnx y'all.(or watever is appropriate if its blame LOL)

 

[Mayday]

Anybody who joined BY CHOICE b4 other kpop forums crashed n necesstitated our finding other outlets to kvetch/share our thots about kpop is by definition a OG KS user, cosmic nim even gave you all 1st gen badges LOL(I only managed to join n got 2nd gen badges n was lucky since KS gen badges dint get given after 3rd?/4th KS gen) it was rlly small but intense community then lmao, the 20+plus posts in 1 minute by 2 users was so amazing to me, unlike other (non kpop) forums id been on b4 then. Without ks i might not hv liked other ggs than snsd, so i can credit/blame KS OG users(or whoever made threads/posts abt them then) with me getting into BP GF EG n indirectly(?) RV:IS OMG GIDLE. So thnx y'all.(or watever is appropriate if its blame LOL)

I guess you're right. KS blew up when the other forums kinda went down. The days when we'd be lucky for 10 threads in a day.

This further proves my point. I always thought I annoyed everyone, but you said you admired me. I viewed myself so much lower than everyone else did and this applies to everyone honestly!

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

I guess you're right. KS blew up when the other forums kinda went down. The days when we'd be lucky for 10 threads in a day.

This further proves my point. I always thought I annoyed everyone, but you said you admired me. I viewed myself so much lower than everyone else did and this applies to everyone honestly!

I cant rmbr everything, (memory loss in old age, half kidding) but i just chkd n we were in team grinch together. Omg tat was over a yr ago!!!! Rembering stuff from last week irl is tuff enuf let alone from almost 1-2 yrs ago so im glad we hv at least good impressions/memories of each other on KS, ur OP is true in so many ways. Thnx again for making/writing it/this thread.

 

[Mayday]

I cant rmbr everything, (memory loss in old age, half kidding) but i just chkd n we were in team grinch together. Omg tat was over a yr ago!!!! Rembering stuff from last week irl is tuff enuf let alone from almost 1-2 yrs ago so im glad we hv at least good impressions/memories of each other on KS, ur OP is true in so many ways. Thnx again for making/writing it/this thread.

I remember that! You were SteviSone (?) back then! Team Grinch was amazing.

Time flies so quickly. I remember making my intro thread so clearly.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

I remember that! You were SteviSone (?) back then! Team Grinch was amazing.

Time flies so quickly. I remember making my intro thread so clearly.

We still lost rite?

I hv no memories of making/wats in my intro thread. I was such a sweet summer child then (tho already a grown ass man/ahjussi physically) i meant mentally in connection with kpop/KS forum LOL.

 

[Mayday]

We still lost rite?

I hv no memories of making/wats in my intro thread. I was such a sweet summer child then (tho already a grown ass man/ahjussi physically) i meant mentally in connection with kpop/KS forum LOL.

We lost yeah, but our team spirit was truly something else.

I joined forums in 2018 and boy have I learned a lot.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

We lost yeah, but our team spirit was truly something else.

I joined forums in 2018 and boy have I learned a lot.

Grinches forever🖤🤎🤍

Yeah OG KS users n maybe even new users schooled me a lot abt kpop n stuff, iv kinda no expectations now on a lot of grps/kpop companies based on wat iv learned/wat they wrote-ill just enjoy/experience wat comes n dont get my hope/expectations up too high(even after normal life occurs again.) The ups n downs might be too much after 2020 to predict wat normal will be after this.

 

[Taehyun]

this is great actually, i've been so scared about making friends on here bc i'm worried about being annoying or intrusive might actually give it a shot

 

[Mayday]

this is great actually, i've been so scared about making friends on here bc i'm worried about being annoying or intrusive might actually give it a shot

Go for it!

 

[Taehyun]

Go for it!

now we just have to get over the social awkwardness

 

[NASA]

I was looking at some of my older posts from 2-3 years ago and I noticed how hard I tried to seem like a really clean cut person. The thing is, I never actually came off the way I wanted to because it wasn't me.

This line in particular reminds me of when I used to try be really like overly positive and uwu and happy and supportive, I just cringe looking back at it now cuz I overdid it so hard to try and compensate for actually being at my lowest lol. I still do try be positive but I don't overdo it anymore, if i'm not feeling great i'm not gonna be on here tryna spread positive vibes.

Our posts from 2 or 3 years ago can tell us a lot about how we've grown lol

 

[Mayday]

This line in particular reminds me of when I used to try be really like overly positive and uwu and happy and supportive, I just cringe looking back at it now cuz I overdid it so hard to try and compensate for actually being at my lowest lol. I still do try be positive but I don't overdo it anymore, if i'm not feeling great i'm not gonna be on here tryna spread positive vibes.

Our posts from 2 or 3 years ago can tell us a lot about how we've grown lol

This is absolutely hilarious because my introduction thread was exactly what you're describing. Now I'm naturally an optimist but that's through experience.

My posts from 2018/2019 were absolutely horrendous. Super cringy, super clingy, etc. I either tried to come off as really positive or really relatable and "chill". I'm so glad I've come to terms with myself because that gig was not giving.