Jae apologises for his inappropriate comment towards Jamie (1 Viewer)

[litc]

thats what i initially thought too, but i dont think jamie would be so upset if they joke like this all the time... shes rightfully upset too; now that i actually understand what the word means it really is an awful word that should never be said by a man to describe a woman, regardless of whether they're friends or not. especially when the woman in question gets harassed all the time, like jamie.

mind you, i genuinely dont think he meant to degrade her or hurt her, but he really needs to filter his words and think before he speaks. this is not the first time he gets called out for his out of line remarks. it doesnt seem like hes taking the valid criticism he gets to heart, which is a shame because no one is calling him out just for the sake of cancelling him, but thats what he takes it as.

^^^

as for ppl comparing it to b*tch, there's two things that are different in this case:

1) he was just saying it publicly, which is completely different then joking about it with a friend while actually talking to them
2) some ppl may call their friends that, but even for b*tch, from my experience (but not speaking for all Americans ofc), it's not socially acceptable for a man to call a woman a b*tch because it's a term which was used to degrade women It's quite different for a woman calling another woman as a term of empowerment or endearment

But thot is more like slut shaming, so it's even worse
But I have seen girls call their (female) friends that for sure, but again different bc it's not a man saying it to a woman, it's different

Just my opinion

 

[Soogi]

I think what he is going through is feeling " I don´t freaking care" and takes it on the wrong people as well as perhaps the right ones. I don´t know, if anyone called me like that I would not bother at all. but maybe it´s just me.
I have been in the situation when my words were taken out of context when we used to joke around all the time and then suddenly that person took my words and created a whole affair out of it. of course people jumped to conclusions and didn´t believe me. they only saw the story of it, THAT ONE SLIGHTLY DERAGATORY sentence and boom, no one cared about the previous messages, no one cared about what had happened before.
I dunno, I´d be much more interested to hear, why did he feel he should say that about her and why was he even talking about her in the first place? was it perhaps because they had talked to each other before the live stream and something had happened that she had come to mind so quickly?

just some definitions i took from urban dictionary:

Thot stands for That Hoe Over There. It is also a word for a slut who really wants it.

A woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity who rightfully earns male commitment—until the man discovers that she’s just a cheap imitation of a “good girl” who is good only for mindless sex, not relationships or respect.

If women are products, then thots are cheap goods. More than that, they’re knockoffs: low-quality merchandise that attempts to masquerade as luxury items.

They generally dress in cheap clothing, try to act like they're better than they really are, or think they're not trashy but high class when they're nothing close to classy. They demand respect, money, gifts, dates but do nothing to deserve any of it because they have no self-respect, no manners, low self esteem, little education and on top of all that are slutty because they have no self worth.

She's like the neighborhood bicycle, everyone gets a ride.

he very clearly called her a thot, nothing was taken out of context. its a disgusting, degrading, misogynistic term used against women and i would be incredibly angry and upset if someone called me that. now imagine if you're already a target of sexual harassment and your friend said this behind your back, wouldnt you feel betrayed? it 100% doesnt matter what happened between them, you just cant justify calling someone such a nasty word, especially if that word is used exclusively to degrade certain groups of people. we shouldnt normalize these kinds of jokes about women and jamie's reaction is absolutely valid. im proud of her for standing up for herself.

 

[brekker]

just some definitions i took from urban dictionary:





he very clearly called her a thot, nothing was taken out of context. its a disgusting, degrading, misogynistic term used against women and i would be incredibly angry and upset if someone called me that. now imagine if you're already a target of sexual harassment and your friend said this behind your back, wouldnt you feel betrayed? it 100% doesnt matter what happened between them, you just cant justify calling someone such a nasty word, especially if that word is used exclusively to degrade certain groups of people. we shouldnt normalize these kinds of jokes about women and jamie's reaction is absolutely valid. im proud of her for standing up for herself.

I would encourage you to look up the term "hoe" or "bitch" and you will find the same definitions. still, a lot of people use them among friends in a non-derigatory meanings.

 

[eclipsoul]

I think what he is going through is feeling " I don´t freaking care" and takes it on the wrong people as well as perhaps the right ones. I don´t know, if anyone called me like that I would not bother at all. but maybe it´s just me.
I have been in the situation when my words were taken out of context when we used to joke around all the time and then suddenly that person took my words and created a whole affair out of it. of course people jumped to conclusions and didn´t believe me. they only saw the story of it, THAT ONE SLIGHTLY DERAGATORY sentence and boom, no one cared about the previous messages, no one cared about what had happened before.
I dunno, I´d be much more interested to hear, why did he feel he should say that about her and why was he even talking about her in the first place? was it perhaps because they had talked to each other before the live stream and something had happened that she had come to mind so quickly?

from what i know jamie has previously talked about how she has been receiving comments sexualising her and how uncomfortable she felt about it which might be another reason why she got upset like she did. i don't think there was anything out of context, he said the word "thot" straight up and if he didn't care about the boundaries of being a kpop idol as much as he claims he doesn't, i think he would explain what exactly was taken out of context instead of pulling the "i didn't know card" and then apologising. to be fair it doesn't seem like there was much thought put into his words, he just started laughing after he said it so he might have just assumed it would be a harmless joke until jamie spoke up.

 

[brekker]

from what i know jamie has previously talked about how she has been receiving comments sexualising her and how uncomfortable she felt about it which might be another reason why she got upset like she did. i don't think there was anything out of context, he said the word "thot" straight up and if he didn't care about the boundaries of being a kpop idol as much as he claims he doesn't, i think he would explain what exactly was taken out of context instead of pulling the "i didn't know card" and then apologising. to be fair it doesn't seem like there was much thought put into his words, he just started laughing after he said it so he might have just assumed it would be a harmless joke until jamie spoke up.

the question is why did he feel the need to speak about her? why HER specifically. maybe they had talked before and had an argument, maybe they had joked before like that. do you just randomly put people´s names into your mouth? me? I don´t.
why is no one asking WHY he said that about her? what was the connotation?

 

[Hajima]

^^^

as for ppl comparing it to b*tch, there's two things that are different in this case:

1) he was just saying it publicly, which is completely different then joking about it with a friend while actually talking to them
2) some ppl may call their friends that, but even for b*tch, from my experience (but not speaking for all Americans ofc), it's not socially acceptable for a man to call a woman a b*tch because it's a term which was used to degrade women It's quite different for a woman calling another woman as a term of empowerment or endearment

But thot is more like slut shaming, so it's even worse
But I have seen girls call their (female) friends that for sure, but again different bc it's not a man saying it to a woman, it's different

Just my opinion

.
Why can't a man joke with his female friends like this!! You women talk about equality, then pull of shit like this is hypocritical. It's also sexist.

 

[ADORA]

What happened

 

[Hajima]

the question is why did he feel the need to speak about her? why HER specifically. maybe they had talked before and had an argument, maybe they had joked before like that. do you just randomly put people´s names into your mouth? me? I don´t.
why is no one asking WHY he said that about her? what was the connotation?

They are close friends.

 

[Soogi]

I would encourage you to look up the term "hoe" or "bitch" and you will find the same definitions. still, a lot of people use them among friends in a non-derigatory meanings.

i'll just quote what lit said because i 100% agree with her

it's not socially acceptable for a man to call a woman a b*tch because it's a term which was used to degrade women It's quite different for a woman calling another woman as a term of empowerment or endearment

its a slur, and so are bitch, slut, whore,,.... people just dont want to see it that way because degrading women has just become so normalized. i would never ever let my male friends say one of these words about me or any other woman because men never ever say it as an endearment. but when a girl calls a girl a hoe they're giving a positive twist to a word that is normally only used in a negative setting, theyre reclaiming the word.

 

[Soogi]

.
Why can't a man joke with his female friends like this!! You women talk about equality, then pull of shit like this is hypocritical. It's also sexist.

because its a SLUR. men never say it wthout implying something negative about a woman

 

[maruberry]

They are close friends.

So it is ok to hurt your friends????
If you're friends you can tell them stuff that will hurt them?

it's only funny if both sides laugh

 

[Chaeee]

What happened

Well you missed a lot

 

[litc]

i'll just quote what lit said because i 100% agree with her


its a slur, and so are bitch, slut, whore,,.... people just dont want to see it that way because degrading women has just become so normalized. i would never ever let my male friends say one of these words about me or any other woman because men never ever say it as an endearment. but when a girl calls a girl a hoe they're giving a positive twist to a word that is normally only used in a negative setting, theyre reclaiming the word.

because its a SLUR. men never say it wthout implying something negative about a woman

^^^^^^ agree completely

.
Why can't a man joke with his female friends like this!! You women talk about equality, then pull of shit like this is hypocritical. It's also sexist.

Bc it's a term used to degrade women not men. And like I said, he said it publicly, not when he was talking to her face to face, via text etc.

 

[Exi]

.
Why can't a male joke with his female like this!! You women talk about equality, then pull of shit like this is hypocritical. It's also sexist.

Because

1. Jamie is not his. Humans aren’t property
2. It’s basic human respect to follow and respect people’s boundaries. If a friend says numerous times they find something uncomfortable then their wishes should be respected. That’s part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
3. The word ‘Thot’ in itself is used as a slur against women like how incel is used against men as a slur.

 

[ADORA]

Well you missed a lot

I can see that

 

[maruberry]

Because

1. Jamie is not his. Humans aren’t property
2. It’s basic human respect to follow and respect people’s boundaries. If a friend says numerous times they find something uncomfortable then their wishes should be respected. That’s part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
3. The word ‘Thot’ in itself is used as a slur against women like how incel is used against men as a slur.

I agree with most of it, only incel isn't a slur lmao
People self-identify as incels lmao

 

[Hajima]

So it is ok to hurt your friends????
If you're friends you can tell them stuff that will hurt them?

it's only funny if both sides laugh

It depends on the level of bonding and how the other friend response. Me and my close male friend joke like this even 10 times worse, but it's just jokes. You obviously never had a close friend like this so you will never understand. You probably are sensitive as well.

 

[Chaeee]

I can see that

You might want to Take a seat for this one love

 

[ADORA]

You might want to Take a seat for this one love

*Takes a seat* anybody got popcorn

 

[brekker]

i'll just quote what lit said because i 100% agree with her


its a slur, and so are bitch, slut, whore,,.... people just dont want to see it that way because degrading women has just become so normalized. i would never ever let my male friends say one of these words about me or any other woman because men never ever say it as an endearment. but when a girl calls a girl a hoe they're giving a positive twist to a word that is normally only used in a negative setting, theyre reclaiming the word.

your last sentence can´t be further from truth, but if you take it that way. well, maybe you should consider that sometimes even females are not polite and those comments were meant in a negative way :D. or is it that when a pretty girl tells you "you are a bitch" it is okay! it is positive! because she is a girl!

my male friends would also never call me that because there is no indication why they ever should .... just saying. perhaps because I had never ever used any vulgar words towards them and they know the boundary is there? obviously very clearly?