- Joined
- 19 August 2021
- Messages
- 23,071
- Reactions Received
- 16,322
- Location
- not active
- Cards
- View Profile
- KS Coins
- 25,801
i understand you, if its really THAT bad you can ask to up your dosage of whatever your takingThis is my first time posting here ...
And I don't even know if this applies
I hate ADHD so much. So so so much. It's the thing I dislike most about myself recently. For someone who values productivity so much, it's amazing how I can be so unproductive? Every time I take a break I spend the entire time feeling guilty but when I try to do something I just end up wasting so much time anyways except when I'm hyperfocusing? But when I'm in the zone, I'm really in the zone
The medicine really does help but without it I'm kinda hopeless. And I keep on trying without it as well and not succeeding. I've got to get rid of this stupid optimism. "I can do it, I can do it" all the time. When sometimes I really can't. I'm so ambitious too, and a perfectionist. There's so much I want to do, so much I want to learn, so much I'm going to do. And yet I can't.
When I'm not on the medicine, it feels like my brain doesn't even work
This stupid happiness all the time too. How, why can I just be happy when I'm not even doing well? When I was barely getting by, but because I was still getting by, nothing was wrong, but now I'm slipping? Happiness isn't the most important thing. I can't be happy and nothing else. This is just stupid happiness at this point, happiness without reason. It feels like I'm not in control of myself, and not being in control of myself is one of my biggest fears
Happy no matter what happens, but why?
Natural intellect and being able to do things in a few minutes or hours that was supposed to take weeks was getting by, but that doesn't help. Some things really do take a long time, even with my under pressure hyper focus. It just can't always work. And imagine how much better I could do if I spent all that time on it though? Being great at winging things is a lucky skill to have, but it doesn't always help. I can easily form an idea for 10 pages in 10 minutes for example, but writing it all in an hour?
The only reason I joined kpop forums originally in the first place years ago was to help me be productive anyways. If I finished an assignment before the time I set for myself I would read one page of a thread💀
When I used to help everyone with schoolwork, yet I took the longest? I can understand everything and yet
I'm such an independent person, but I suck at independence and I can't stand it. I hate not being able to do everything well on my own time, be able to do as much as people as smart as me and the same age. And yet I think I can. Genuinely. And despite being proven wrong, I keep on trying. Not because everyone else is doing it, but because I genuinely think I can and want to. But at this point, I just can't. But I hate it. I hate pity and I hate sympathy and I hate not just being able to do everything I want as long as I work hard.
I suppose it's not all bad, since I seem to make people happy with my energy and enthusiasm, smiling all the time, hyping everyone up, when I'm not being stupid with my impulsivity. But all that doesn't even matter if I can't do what I want though. I try to make big plans, I really try to stay ahead, and yet I fail?
But I'm going to succeed and be really great someday. I will! No matter what
But I keep thinking this and it's just stupid optimism. But I keep smiling. But why? I can't do everything. I can't. But I hate that fact
I really need help ...
i really really really wish i knew more about adhd so i could help you more lit. but i just wanna say, i get your feelings about perfectionism and feeling unproductive 🥲 but the truth is that you can’t do everything. and even if you cant achieve your goals today, try again the next. don’t feel guilty of what you didnt do, be proud of your improvement by the day. i feel like, with consistency and dedication, you’ll start to feel a little better ❤ im sorry i dont much about adhd but i hope this helps ilyThis is my first time posting here ...
And I don't even know if this applies
I hate ADHD so much. So so so much. It's the thing I dislike most about myself recently. For someone who values productivity so much, it's amazing how I can be so unproductive? Every time I take a break I spend the entire time feeling guilty but when I try to do something I just end up wasting so much time anyways except when I'm hyperfocusing? But when I'm in the zone, I'm really in the zone
The medicine really does help but without it I'm kinda hopeless. And I keep on trying without it as well and not succeeding. I've got to get rid of this stupid optimism. "I can do it, I can do it" all the time. When sometimes I really can't. I'm so ambitious too, and a perfectionist. There's so much I want to do, so much I want to learn, so much I'm going to do. And yet I can't.
When I'm not on the medicine, it feels like my brain doesn't even work
This stupid happiness all the time too. How, why can I just be happy when I'm not even doing well? When I was barely getting by, but because I was still getting by, nothing was wrong, but now I'm slipping? Happiness isn't the most important thing. I can't be happy and nothing else. This is just stupid happiness at this point, happiness without reason. It feels like I'm not in control of myself, and not being in control of myself is one of my biggest fears
Happy no matter what happens, but why?
Natural intellect and being able to do things in a few minutes or hours that was supposed to take weeks was getting by, but that doesn't help. Some things really do take a long time, even with my under pressure hyper focus. It just can't always work. And imagine how much better I could do if I spent all that time on it though? Being great at winging things is a lucky skill to have, but it doesn't always help. I can easily form an idea for 10 pages in 10 minutes for example, but writing it all in an hour?
The only reason I joined kpop forums originally in the first place years ago was to help me be productive anyways. If I finished an assignment before the time I set for myself I would read one page of a thread💀
When I used to help everyone with schoolwork, yet I took the longest? I can understand everything and yet
I'm such an independent person, but I suck at independence and I can't stand it. I hate not being able to do everything well on my own time, be able to do as much as people as smart as me and the same age. And yet I think I can. Genuinely. And despite being proven wrong, I keep on trying. Not because everyone else is doing it, but because I genuinely think I can and want to. But at this point, I just can't. But I hate it. I hate pity and I hate sympathy and I hate not just being able to do everything I want as long as I work hard.
I suppose it's not all bad, since I seem to make people happy with my energy and enthusiasm, smiling all the time, hyping everyone up, when I'm not being stupid with my impulsivity. But all that doesn't even matter if I can't do what I want though. I try to make big plans, I really try to stay ahead, and yet I fail?
But I'm going to succeed and be really great someday. I will! No matter what
But I keep thinking this and it's just stupid optimism. But I keep smiling. But why? I can't do everything. I can't. But I hate that fact
I really need help ...
I recently upped the dosage, and it really has been helping a lot more, and lasting longer. But it doesn't undo the damage my pride and stubbornness has caused me beforei understand you, if its really THAT bad you can ask to up your dosage of whatever your taking
But really, take it one day at a time
Everyone has days and moments when they are overcome with suuu much emotions, or energy.
You can get through this, and end your life very well knowing you could grasp your ADHD so it wouldn't become a problem
I believe in you <33
i’m so sorry ace. i am confident that you will one day be able to fully be the person you want to be ❤if i was born male, i wouldn't have to deal with 90% of the things i go through