i feel like, being a woc or poc in general we have a rather negative factor in finding relationships in this day and age. i go to a mostly white school, a good 90% of my irl friends are white. they have all been in at least one relationship, most have had their first kiss, the most ive ever gotten was an online one. and atp ion even count it. hearing my friends complain abt their relationship problems is starting to take a toll on me. they yell at me for being attached to a guy, but i've never loved so greatly like this before. and they have. i cant js let that go, cause i wont find a guy that will like me like that in a while. i can tell, since everytime i have a crush on a guy i have to think to myself "i hope he likes woc."
today in english class, we were talking abt our types in partners. one of the popular guys gets called on, he says what i expect he would say: "blonde hair, big boobs, pretty face." i knew this, yet the realization hit me: i will never be like that. i am not what guys want. they dont like short smart asian girls, they want the sexy hot blonde girl. and it eats me up inside. i will never be white. so i will never be pretty.