Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (9 Viewers)

[kodoku]

It’s been a rough day and I’ve got a lot on my chest... I feel like that mental health discord server would come in handy right about now :/ I talked with staff and they said it was a good idea. I think someone should just make it and we can go from there though.

good idea indeed, until then you can talk to any of us here :) <3

dear, mental health thread people,
fuck it here we go. i haven't felt this sad in awhile. i can't think about anything too long or i just get sad. i fucked up and thought too much and here we are. i know i'm going to regret posting this and feel guilty about posting it.
i wish i wasn't so fucking insecure about being masculine because the whole concept of "masculinity" is fucking bullshit but here we are feeling not masculine for the stupidest things: i like cursive, i phrase things in a feminine way (?), i'm emotional, i'm sensitive, i'm really really anxious, i cry, i have an eating disorder, i have depression, and i can't "man up" fucking ever. doesn't help that my dad just cements this more in my mind whenever i'm axious or can't do something. how will you ever get a job if you can't ____? i don't fucking know! and if i think about it for too long i won't get out of bed for a few days, so fuck that.
i don't think i'll ever be able to live up to my own ridiculous standards for myself. no matter what i do i feel guilty, i second guess everything i do. did i do that because i need a break or because i'm a crybaby little bitch? did that come off as creepy? and so on and so forth.
my social anxiety has gotten so out of hand that i don't leave to go hang out with freinds even though i'm painfuly lonely and i love people. i haven't in years and the last time someone came over was ealier this summer and i was so anxious. the only thing i'm good at doing is chilling in the presence of others. i just want someone to come over and cuddle and we can either go on our phones, watch something together or just sleep. that would be perfect. normal people find that extremely boring.
the only person i wan't anxious around was my ex best friend but she said some really hurtful things to me and we haven't talked since. i don't plan on ever talking to her again. i scream cried on my kitchen floor, knife in hand, i will never forget that. how badly i wanted to end it all right there but i wasn't going to let that bitch be the reason i go.
i hope that this school year is different because every other year has fucking sucked so bad. hopefully i can have enough motivation to get the work donr that i need to do. i can't keep fucking up every year and expect to have a good year. i'm so tired of screwing myself over by not doing my work.
the only reason i'm not starving right now is i made myself a horrible promise that i would not starve until september. i look at the full boxes of 0 calorie soda just waiting for the day untill i can go again. at least then i felt like i was doing something productive. since i can't fucking do my work. september 1st it's back on. just 2 more weeks. i crave the feeling of pure caffine and the emptiness, fuck.
my parents contantly like to remind me that i should stay in this state but i know people here and i just want to start over fresh and new. i don't want anyone to know about my past or who i was. the feeling is so freeing. i would do anything to be reborn like it should have been then i wouldn't have had to do what i had to do that day. i miss him so much, my first taste of something real. he liked me for actually me. the way i miss him even though we knew eachother for TWO DAYS. two days and i got so attached to this boy who just thought i was a little fling a baby step into gay romance. it wouldn't have worked anyways once he firgured it out.
honestly why anyone i know talks to me is a mystery. im: a mess, a ball of anxiety, fat, boring, and, a professional ghoster. sorry this is so long and pretty much a rant, i can't access my vent instagram at the moment so this is really all i got.
later alligators, aaron

that really sounds like a lot to deal with, I'm sorry to hear it... is there any way you can get help?

 

[multifanboy]

good idea indeed, until then you can talk to any of us here :) <3



that really sounds like a lot to deal with, I'm sorry to hear it... is there any way you can get help?

i'm in therapy right now but because of my school schedule i won't be able to see her very often, if ever until november. i'm really hoping i can get through the first couple months well. i just kinda had a post-breakdown useless unproductive day today and i'm trying not to think about all the looming issues.

 

[Buttercup]

dear, mental health thread people,
fuck it here we go. i haven't felt this sad in awhile. i can't think about anything too long or i just get sad. i fucked up and thought too much and here we are. i know i'm going to regret posting this and feel guilty about posting it.
i wish i wasn't so fucking insecure about being masculine because the whole concept of "masculinity" is fucking bullshit but here we are feeling not masculine for the stupidest things: i like cursive, i phrase things in a feminine way (?), i'm emotional, i'm sensitive, i'm really really anxious, i cry, i have an eating disorder, i have depression, and i can't "man up" fucking ever. doesn't help that my dad just cements this more in my mind whenever i'm axious or can't do something. how will you ever get a job if you can't ____? i don't fucking know! and if i think about it for too long i won't get out of bed for a few days, so fuck that.
i don't think i'll ever be able to live up to my own ridiculous standards for myself. no matter what i do i feel guilty, i second guess everything i do. did i do that because i need a break or because i'm a crybaby little bitch? did that come off as creepy? and so on and so forth.
my social anxiety has gotten so out of hand that i don't leave to go hang out with freinds even though i'm painfuly lonely and i love people. i haven't in years and the last time someone came over was ealier this summer and i was so anxious. the only thing i'm good at doing is chilling in the presence of others. i just want someone to come over and cuddle and we can either go on our phones, watch something together or just sleep. that would be perfect. normal people find that extremely boring.
the only person i wan't anxious around was my ex best friend but she said some really hurtful things to me and we haven't talked since. i don't plan on ever talking to her again. i scream cried on my kitchen floor, knife in hand, i will never forget that. how badly i wanted to end it all right there but i wasn't going to let that bitch be the reason i go.
i hope that this school year is different because every other year has fucking sucked so bad. hopefully i can have enough motivation to get the work donr that i need to do. i can't keep fucking up every year and expect to have a good year. i'm so tired of screwing myself over by not doing my work.
the only reason i'm not starving right now is i made myself a horrible promise that i would not starve until september. i look at the full boxes of 0 calorie soda just waiting for the day untill i can go again. at least then i felt like i was doing something productive. since i can't fucking do my work. september 1st it's back on. just 2 more weeks. i crave the feeling of pure caffine and the emptiness, fuck.
my parents contantly like to remind me that i should stay in this state but i know people here and i just want to start over fresh and new. i don't want anyone to know about my past or who i was. the feeling is so freeing. i would do anything to be reborn like it should have been then i wouldn't have had to do what i had to do that day. i miss him so much, my first taste of something real. he liked me for actually me. the way i miss him even though we knew eachother for TWO DAYS. two days and i got so attached to this boy who just thought i was a little fling a baby step into gay romance. it wouldn't have worked anyways once he firgured it out.
honestly why anyone i know talks to me is a mystery. im: a mess, a ball of anxiety, fat, boring, and, a professional ghoster. sorry this is so long and pretty much a rant, i can't access my vent instagram at the moment so this is really all i got.
later alligators, aaron

I'm glad that you stayed away from that friend of yours, before things escalate ever further. You deserve better friends than her. It okay if you want to become a new leaf, and I'm sure your'e a a very nice person. You just need more comfort and affection, and I'm glad you found someone who can ease your comfort. If he likes you, he wouldn't want you saying that about yourself. Do you're best because you make your own decisions. I hoped I helped a bit, Stay strong <3

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: just thoughts

My father told me to stay at my old job that is killing my body and any happiness, and ruining my life more and more. He says he is sad about it and hates that it's so hard for me yet this is what he says because my parents, especially him, always sabotaged me and never believed in me no matter how much they say they do with words. It really messed me up, I can never escape the feeling of being helpless and useless, of being too afraid to even try in life. But it's no surprise, is it... it's so frustrating because they don't realize it or won't admit it and they never will, they'll never change. There isn't anything that I can do. I tried to talk so many times in so many ways and it didn't matter. If I just stop talking to them, I'll be the bad one and it will kill them because they love me so much, I just was never able to feel it nor do I want their love. I'd rather hurt than hurt someone else, so I guess this is how it will always be. For them and for me. How truly tragic...

I am so tired of people, how fake they are, how fake I am. I am sick of the hypocrisy and pettiness. Just look at yourself and work on yourself, stop saying negative things about everyone as if you were so perfect sigh. People sicken me every day, I can't help hating this world. I want to stop, I want it to end, I want to leave. I hate that I always smile and go along with most things, just say what you freaking actually think and feel, don't be such a coward. So scared of drama and conflict that you can't even stand up for yourself. But this is connected to how I was raised and the words carved into my heart long ago isn't it hehe... the words saying I can't do anything... I'm no better either. Telling people not to give up and trying to help when I'm the one who can't see any point to life.

I should declutter my life and detox my body... My apartment is a mess, my diet is the worst it's ever been, my mind is a mess, my life is a mess... I keep geting worse in every way... but.. I don't care anymore.. and I am falling into a deeper depression again. It will be too late soon and I am watching the train leave without even calling out or chasing after it... I wonder if I ever even had a chance. If I was a stronger person, I would believe in myself even if no one else does...

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

*gives you a great big hug..* <3

*hugs* ma bestie..

 

[raymondchouku]

Where the fuck should I start: Today started good.... but it turned quite annoying, hurtful, and stressful over time. The start of the bullsh*t began when I took my nephew and this other family member to Best Buy to buy him (my nephew) a computer for school. Or rather I took him to Best Buy and he bought himself a computer. This other family member wouldn't shut the f**k up about how much of an inconvenience it was. The bitching I could handle, but when we went to eat it all came to a head. We were at McDonalds and were eating and my nephew and I were talking about random stuff and then he brought up Miley Cyrus and her new girlfriend. Then this other family member was like, "I can't eat anymore. I'm going to be sick." We kind of ignored her and went back to talking about Miley and then she said, "Stop talking about this. I'm going to be sick." Apparently, the fact that miley is with a woman now really disgusted her. At first this annoyed me. As I continued to think about it I became enraged, but kept my thoughts to myself.

I will never understand why a guy being with a guy or a girl being with a girl makes people sick. And I definitely will never understand how these homophobes think it is okay for them to make a negative comment about bi-sexuality or homosexuality in front of a gay or bi person.

It could have been about any celebrity or any person. I don't personally care about Miley Cyrus... But when one thing is said about us [LGBT community] it affects all of us. I feel like quoting that old poem "Ask not for whom the bell tolls. For it tolls for thee." So here I am pissed off about the whole thing when I should be working on school work. I just feel sick. upset. and sad about this whole ordeal. I'm just done with people like this.

 

[kodoku]

Where the fuck should I start: Today started good.... but it turned quite annoying, hurtful, and stressful over time. The start of the bullsh*t began when I took my nephew and this other family member to Best Buy to buy him (my nephew) a computer for school. Or rather I took him to Best Buy and he bought himself a computer. This other family member wouldn't shut the f**k up about how much of an inconvenience it was. The bitching I could handle, but when we went to eat it all came to a head. We were at McDonalds and were eating and my nephew and I were talking about random stuff and then he brought up Miley Cyrus and her new girlfriend. Then this other family member was like, "I can't eat anymore. I'm going to be sick." We kind of ignored her and went back to talking about Miley and then she said, "Stop talking about this. I'm going to be sick." Apparently, the fact that miley is with a woman now really disgusted her. At first this annoyed me. As I continued to think about it I became enraged, but kept my thoughts to myself.

I will never understand why a guy being with a guy or a girl being with a girl makes people sick. And I definitely will never understand how these homophobes think it is okay for them to make a negative comment about bi-sexuality or homosexuality in front of a gay or bi person.

It could have been about any celebrity or any person. I don't personally care about Miley Cyrus... But when one thing is said about us [LGBT community] it affects all of us. I feel like quoting that old poem "Ask not for whom the bell tolls. For it tolls for thee." So here I am pissed off about the whole thing when I should be working on school work. I just feel sick. upset. and sad about this whole ordeal. I'm just done with people like this.

Your feelings are understandable and it's beautiful you care so much. I don't know what's wrong with people either :(

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: ED Potentially Triggering, Possibly?

I'm not upset or anything so, I'm not in urgent need of response
If you have any thoughts feel free to respond, but don't feel any urgency this isn't any crisis situation :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my eating is getting better, or worse. I actually don't know how to view it. It's not like "I know it's bad I just don't wanna see it that way", no I really don't know. I don't know. I just know that whether my eating's great or terrible I don't wanna hate myself again like I did last time, I have no reason to. I worked hard, piecing together a good enough life, no millionaire, but I will live happily. I worked so hard to make that happen. I worked hard to be confident, I like myself I really do. I have been so happy for a fair while now. It's such a great feeling to reach genuine consistent happiness. Last time I was isolated, I had no reason to believe a positive thing about me, no reinforcement and regardless no one was there so it didn't matter how I talked or what I thought about myself. Now there are other people. Not that I live my life for them but you can't be in the throes of a mental health crisis and put those issues on the people around you, its stressful and unfair to all parties, and I do like myself, so regardless of others, I don't want to go back to that mindset. There is so much wrong with it. But I know this is a fine line, if I actually end up too far down the road. It's very hard to not hate yourself in the process, its how the problem works, by turning you against yourself. But there are some happy anorexics, who knows. But maybe my eating is actually fine, maybe it makes no sense for me to actually be saying this, I have no standard to gauge and compare against, so maybe I'm overreacting

Spoiler

wow you must've worked really hard, that's inspiring.. maybe see a doctor just to make sure you won't go down the wrong path? I wish you luck..

 

[Yoohyeon]

I have just been diagnosed with Level 1 Autism just today, so it's mild Autism as I can still do day to day life on my own.

 

[kodoku]

I have just been diagnosed with Level 1 Autism just today, so it's mild Autism as I can still do day to day life on my own.

I'm really sorry to hear that :( stay strong, we are here for you <3

 

[Yoohyeon]

I'm really sorry to hear that :( stay strong, we are here for you <3

Thank you for your support!
We kinda knew though as when I was a kid, I did things out of the ordinary, but we just didn't think about it because I had other stuff going on like surgery, etc.
Now we also know why I can sometimes have fits if someone is putting me on the spot. Like when I was at my old job, there was someone yelling and insulting me and I was feeling overwhelmed and couldn't control my emotions at that time and I flipped and instead of hitting them, I pushed a chair with wheels into a desk and broke down.
I didn't get the sack directly, but it was because of this, I was kept on high alert and got disciplinary meetings, etc and I really couldn't explain what had happened.
Luckily it's not severe though, so I can still be on my own.

I don't know if you have seen the show Atypical? But it is about the lives of an Autistic teen and the people around him:


Here is also a TED Talk of someone explaining it:

 

[multifanboy]

Spoiler: anxiety written out so i can sleep :')

nights are when everything that has happened, will happen, could have happened, or needs to happen comes back to haunt me.

the whole name mess is fine it's just everything else deciding to invade my thoughts including but not limited to:

could i have been more assertive about my name? did i really look that out of place at orientation today? i shoudn't have looked weird enough for someone to ask if i was okay, thats just embarassing. why was i so anxious to meet with family? i hate restraunts why did i even go? i was too anxious to get up to get more food but thats for the best right? why is my anxiety so out of control? how tf do i fix it? how am i going to handle the first day of school without full scale vomiting? can people see the internal panic that i have whenever i go outside? why do i want to have a social life if every time i go outside i just feel like running back inside? how am i ever going to be a functioning member of society? am i even going to graduate? i need to fix my sleep schedule but every time i lay down everything starts coming back to me. i really need to finish my homework. why is school starting so soon? i regret saying i was excited, my visable panic just makes me look like a freak. how tf am i going to stay longer after school to go to musical practice if i can't even handle orientation? should i have a cry sometime before school starts just to try to feel better? i'm for sure going to see my ex-bestfriend at our bus stop what if she sees my panic? that would be embarassing. i've been happier recently, why is everything falling apart now? will i even get anything done tomorrow or is it just going to be more hours of me being absolutely useless? what if i can't handle school anymore? when i look down at my chest i can see my heart beating and i feel like thats not normal. it's extra disturbing when my heart is racing. i'm so tired but the panic won't leave me alone. why can i perform on stage but i can't exist like a functioning human? how many days until a public breakdown? i'm not ready for school to start. should i just wear a hoodie to hide in on the first day just in case? but i want to look good. so, no.

anyways i'm so tired of this game of 10,000 questions whenever i have to do anything. no wonder i'm always so tired.

i just wish i could function normally.

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: anxiety written out so i can sleep :')

nights are when everything that has happened, will happen, could have happened, or needs to happen comes back to haunt me.
the whole name mess is fine it's just everything else deciding to invade my thoughts including but not limited to:
could i have been more assertive about my name? did i really look that out of place at orientation today? i shoudn't have looked weird enough for someone to ask if i was okay, thats just embarassing. why was i so anxious to meet with family? i hate restraunts why did i even go? i was too anxious to get up to get more food but thats for the best right? why is my anxiety so out of control? how tf do i fix it? how am i going to handle the first day of school without full scale vomiting? can people see the internal panic that i have whenever i go outside? why do i want to have a social life if every time i go outside i just feel like running back inside? how am i ever going to be a functioning member of society? am i even going to graduate? i need to fix my sleep schedule but every time i lay down everything starts coming back to me. i really need to finish my homework. why is school starting so soon? i regret saying i was excited, my visable panic just makes me look like a freak. how tf am i going to stay longer after school to go to musical practice if i can't even handle orientation? should i have a cry sometime before school starts just to try to feel better? i'm for sure going to see my ex-bestfriend at our bus stop what if she sees my panic? that would be embarassing. i've been happier recently, why is everything falling apart now? will i even get anything done tomorrow or is it just going to be more hours of me being absolutely useless? what if i can't handle school anymore? when i look down at my chest i can see my heart beating and i feel like thats not normal. it's extra disturbing when my heart is racing. i'm so tired but the panic won't leave me alone. why can i perform on stage but i can't exist like a functioning human? how many days until a public breakdown? i'm not ready for school to start. should i just wear a hoodie to hide in on the first day just in case? but i want to look good. so, no.
anyways i'm so tired of this game of 10,000 questions whenever i have to do anything. no wonder i'm always so tired.
i just wish i could function normally.

Spoiler

i'm sorry you have to deal with this, really.. But know you are not alone. Even here on KS, I think there's a few of us dealing with similar stuff. Have you maybe looked for help already? Sometimes therapy or meds can help with these things. I hope you feel more at ease soon

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

Watching documentaries about Native Americans makes me so upset... The way they're forced to live on these reservations that are so rundown, and people keep bringing in drugs, and so many things are a mess... There's poverty everywhere. But at the same time, I admire how they keep their culture and their traditions alive, and strive to unite and fix their communities when far too many people would rather just turn their backs on the whole situation and pretend that it doesn't exist. Pretend, even though it's happening right in their own backyards. The Native Americans have a saying, that human beings belong to the land, not the other way around, so I won't say that the land is their's and everyone else should just get out, but clearly the land wanted them, and I doubt it likes the fact that so much native blood was shed to build the country up like this...

Spoiler

my bestie is so caring and smart, just saying <3

 

[multifanboy]

Spoiler

i'm sorry you have to deal with this, really.. But know you are not alone. Even here on KS, I think there's a few of us dealing with similar stuff. Have you maybe looked for help already? Sometimes therapy or meds can help with these things. I hope you feel more at ease soon

unfortunately i won't be seeing my therapist for quite awhile because of my busy schedule and i really really don't like taking meds. i just kinda have to deal with it and hope it gets better, theres nothing else i can really do.

 

[multifanboy]

Spoiler: giving up on today

i hate to post here 2 days in a row but here we are.

today has just been a give-up sort of day. i woke up really late and already in a sad mood. i feel like the crippling anxiety might be digging back up the depression because lately my social failures have just gotten me so down. for awhile the thoughts of 'bed is my only safe place, i never want to get out of bed again' left. but they're coming back and it's bad timing because i still have summer work i need to get done. school is starting in a few days and i really wanted to go back with a good mindset. i was doing so good but i don't know what happened.

i just want to completely give up and never get out of bed again. but bed doesn't even seem safe anymore because even as i write this i can feel the anxiety running through me. it's probably going to end up just like last year, doing the bare minimum to pass. everything is such a mess and i'm so overwhelmed.

i'm contimplating having a cry but i honestly don't know if i'd be able to or if it would help.

i think the plan for now is to lay in bed and do nothing today but ask if i can have my phone with me when i go to bed so i can actually wake up on time tomorrow. yeah, i'll just try again tomorrow.

 

[kodoku]

unfortunately i won't be seeing my therapist for quite awhile because of my busy schedule and i really really don't like taking meds. i just kinda have to deal with it and hope it gets better, theres nothing else i can really do.

I understand. Please make sure to take care of yourself though. Try to do what you can when it comes to diet, sleeping, exercise, and similar things..

Spoiler: giving up on today

i hate to post here 2 days in a row but here we are.
today has just been a give-up sort of day. i woke up really late and already in a sad mood. i feel like the crippling anxiety might be digging back up the depression because lately my social failures have just gotten me so down. for awhile the thoughts of 'bed is my only safe place, i never want to get out of bed again' left. but they're coming back and it's bad timing because i still have summer work i need to get done. school is starting in a few days and i really wanted to go back with a good mindset. i was doing so good but i don't know what happened.
i just want to completely give up and never get out of bed again. but bed doesn't even seem safe anymore because even as i write this i can feel the anxiety running through me. it's probably going to end up just like last year, doing the bare minimum to pass. everything is such a mess and i'm so overwhelmed.
i'm contimplating having a cry but i honestly don't know if i'd be able to or if it would help.
i think the plan for now is to lay in bed and do nothing today but ask if i can have my phone with me when i go to bed so i can actually wake up on time tomorrow. yeah, i'll just try again tomorrow.

Spoiler

that's okay, maybe rest for now.... Tomorrow will be a new opportunity :)

 

[gongchan]

In case anyone might miss the thread, the KS Mental Health Discord server is up and running ^^ Here is the link to the thread with details

✯ KS Mental Health Discord ✯ - K-Pop Source — Keeping the K-Pop Forum Spirit Alive

Hello lovely users of KS! Today I am here to announce the opening of the KS Mental Health Discord server! @potato , @kodoku and I created this server to be a safe and non-judgmental place for the users of KS to let out or talk about anything that may be bothering them and to receive quicker...

www.kpopsource.com

<3

 

[multifanboy]

Spoiler: stressful suprises

i did not sign up for this.

so i thought i was just going to my appointment (2 hrs away) and then coming back, ok perfect i still have one page of homework to do (because im a procrastinating idiot). but no we're also going to the fair. this is bad because i have homework and things like that give me a lot of anxiety. i feel a lot of pressure to do things i used to enjoy but no longer due to anxiety. i don't want to have to stay up late to do this stupid summer work and then be tired tomorrow (my first day back to school).

Spoiler: not ready for school

speaking of the first day i'm already stressed about it. i don't want to go back to that circus. theres been even more issues since the name incident. they have a trans kid's old name on shit (hes going to be a freshman this year) but this shit could actually turn out bad. he's steath (nobody knows hes trans). so if these fucking bitches out him they're going to get me really angry. my name? sucks, shitty, but i'm already out to everyone. this is totally diffrent. i know he'd be devestated. for some reason a teacher thought it was appropriate to email his parents to ask if he was trans (absolutely out of line imo), why does that even matter? i hate my school so much.

socially i'm extremely anxious so thats fun but honestly this chaos is distracting me from how anxious i am. also i'm going to try to walk in on the first day with the mindset of "i love people" (a fact) instead of "i'm so anxious, why did i do this? where do i go? where are my friends?"

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: stressful suprises

i did not sign up for this.
so i thought i was just going to my appointment (2 hrs away) and then coming back, ok perfect i still have one page of homework to do (because im a procrastinating idiot). but no we're also going to the fair. this is bad because i have homework and things like that give me a lot of anxiety. i feel a lot of pressure to do things i used to enjoy but no longer due to anxiety. i don't want to have to stay up late to do this stupid summer work and then be tired tomorrow (my first day back to school).

Spoiler: not ready for school

speaking of the first day i'm already stressed about it. i don't want to go back to that circus. theres been even more issues since the name incident. they have a trans kid's old name on shit (hes going to be a freshman this year) but this shit could actually turn out bad. he's steath (nobody knows hes trans). so if these fucking bitches out him they're going to get me really angry. my name? sucks, shitty, but i'm already out to everyone. this is totally diffrent. i know he'd be devestated. for some reason a teacher thought it was appropriate to email his parents to ask if he was trans (absolutely out of line imo), why does that even matter? i hate my school so much.
socially i'm extremely anxious so thats fun but honestly this chaos is distracting me from how anxious i am. also i'm going to try to walk in on the first day with the mindset of "i love people" (a fact) instead of "i'm so anxious, why did i do this? where do i go? where are my friends?"

Spoiler

I'm sorry things are tough like that right now.. All I can say is try to be gentle with yourself and take of yourself during this time. Also it's very nice and caring of you to worry about this person, I hope everything will be well for the both of you