I'm sorry you are feeling this way, That second part was very relatable. The way I look at it, I don't think our destiny is written in the stars or anything like that and you just take what you can get in life and do the best you can with it... even if we didn't ask to be here, the reailty is that we are and there are people who would be negatively affected if we died.. so the best thing to do is do try our best to be a decent person and live a decent life and along the way, you might meet some great people, see some amazing places, experience fascinating things...... and that's just what life is... keep going, there's still so much ahead. I hope you gain some energy and feel better soon, stay strong :)Sometimes I think a cycle is a toxic thing to me. Breaking a 7 year friendship with two leaves me confused and the damage they left with their comments makes me sometimes believe it's true. I don't mind being quarantined but I feel like I'm caged with my thoughts and they're grim and dark with an urge of making myself feel something. Through any means.
What is the purpose to exist when you don't want to exist? What is the purpose when I honestly feel I was just born because of someone's hormones. I feel ending that friendship that prodded my insecurities were the same questions I had about myself and the same critiques. I don't understand why I'm here. I'm very forgettable if I continued to be the last option to a friendship that long. It wasn't good for me but most don't find me worthy of anything except a body count.
Whoo Boy. I'm sorry this was so negative. I think quartine makes me dark and it helps ranting. Even if it can't be fixed in a day for me. Or a month..or a year.
so true, what is it with this world.. :/ but I guess that quote is still true.. "be the change you wish to see...."No life outside of these walls anymore due to Corona.
I never had a life anyways, so there ya go.
I just wish people weren't so negative and the media wasn't.
It really impacts my mental health with their attitudes.