Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (82 Viewers)

[Villains]

always helping others, no one helping me.

good things will always come back to you

 

[doll]

good things will always come back to you

you can only wish.

 

[doll]

tw suicide sort of

i am nothing but rude and violently unstable
no good for nothing, no good to keep talking
no good to stay anywhere
sleeping on the floor when i have a warm bed
chewing on hour old gum refusing a warm meal
cussing out the ones i love instead of explaining
why should i tell them anything though ?
what does it matter to them ,
in the end ,
i know no one really cares about anything .
why would they ?
it makes no sense to care about someone
why do people care ?
why do i care ?
why do i have to pretend i care for all these other people when i know i dont
i wish i were kinder
but at the same time i know if i were there would be no difference
my thought pattern would be the same and my emotions would be locked away
who am i if not telling the whole world im on the verge of suicide ?
who am i if not , who am i?
i dont know , i dont want to know.
people give me traits and just go off of them like its not apart of their own personality that i stole.
i am not myself
taimane is no more, she was never to begin with

 

[athenaaa]

Am I not important enough? I could disappear for months and nobody would notice. It would be nice.

 

[doll]

Am I not important enough? I could disappear for months and nobody would notice. It would be nice.

go on and say this and deny the reality
you know exactly who would miss you

 

[litc]

Spoiler: topics of graphic suicide kinda

whatever i do, i will never be good enough for his love. ive tried too hard, forever, it seems. he says she loves me, he says he will do anything for me, but i dont believe him. even though hes done and delivered every time. it all seems unreal, at that. "i'd do anything for you", he says, but theres nothing in this whole world i need but to believe in us. please, give me that strength. help me please. i know you know that im too sick for you, in theory. but every time i run back you let me stay. why are you so kind to me? i dont deserve this. you know i dont. why would he agree to kill himself whenever i do? he actually has things to live for, people who care about him, i dont. could the reason be that he loves me enough? does he have issues like mine? what is it. he barely opens up to me, im the only one talking when sharing secrets and sacred information. he's just there, staring at me with his pretty eyes. please stay looking at me, please tell me it'll all be alright. talk to me like you normally do when we lie together waiting for death. kiss me as the pills run down my throat. hold my hand as our blood mixes. let our souls be together forever, may we be buried in the same ditch.
whatever. nothing i say is worth hearing, no one wants to listen anyways. i dont blame them, i dont even want to write this. but i need to hear it for myself, on a later date. whats the purpose of living anyways? i dont deserve it, im violent, rude, and everything terrible. i dont need friends, i dont want them. why do people choose to talk to me? all i'll ever do is hurt you, i swear. you cant stay here with me, i dont need your company, i just want you gone. i want everyone to leave me alone, go away, please. just let me listen to my music and cut myself. whats the problem with self harm anyways? whats so bad about it? hurting yourself on purpose is like beating someone up for something they deserve, you wouldnt be mad about that. so i've done no wrong, i see no hurt in it. im stuck on the topic, stuck on the words of 'self harm'. its all fake, ive seen, its bad. why am i being so mean? why should i care though. i deserve everything im saying, at least. i should beat myself, push rusty nails into my neck, do everything terrible, do everything i deserve.
whatever

Spoiler

if you love him shouldn't you trust him? Shouldn't you believe him?

Don't hurt yourself. If you want to see yourself as a better person, work towards it. And don't be afraid to ask for help from those who can help or push away those who offer it.

If you're everything terrible like you say, why don't you try to work small and be slightly less terrible? Baby steps

At least here, you've been nice to a lot of people lately, like I've said. So you are making progress. You can do it. But you might need help

 

[doll]

Spoiler

if you love him shouldn't you trust him? Shouldn't you believe him?

Don't hurt yourself. If you want to see yourself as a better person, work towards it. And don't be afraid to ask for help from those who can help or push away those who offer it.

If you're everything terrible like you say, why don't you try to work small and be slightly less terrible? Baby steps

At least here, you've been nice to a lot of people lately, like I've said. So you are making progress. You can do it. But you might need help

Spoiler

i do trust him, but my illness causes me to have altered thoughts

and its not anything here, im nice online but in real life i am only violent, rude, and no goodness to be given, really
i try, ive been trying, but i will never make a full recovery because its not literally possible

 

[litc]

Spoiler

i do trust him, but my illness causes me to have altered thoughts

and its not anything here, im nice online but in real life i am only violent, rude, and no goodness to be given, really
i try, ive been trying, but i will never make a full recovery because its not literally possible

Does your school have smth like this

CASSY

Counseling & Support Services for Youth

cassybayarea.org

maybe it's only california

Is there some help at your school, ask for help

 

[litc]

Spoiler

i do trust him, but my illness causes me to have altered thoughts

and its not anything here, im nice online but in real life i am only violent, rude, and no goodness to be given, really
i try, ive been trying, but i will never make a full recovery because its not literally possible

Spoiler

as for trusting him, write down on a piece of paper why you trust him, why you love him, and all that, and look at it everything you start to feel the altered thoughts coming on

But you shouldn't live your life for one person

 

[litc]

I hate ADHD

 

[doll]

Spoiler

as for trusting him, write down on a piece of paper why you trust him, why you love him, and all that, and look at it everything you start to feel the altered thoughts coming on

But you shouldn't live your life for one person

Spoiler

i cannot physically care about anyone else like i care about him, like i have no empathy, no remorse

 

[litc]

Spoiler

i cannot physically care about anyone else like i care about him, like i have no empathy, no remorse

That's not what I meant. You shouldn't live for anyone but yourself because people aren't forever

 

[doll]

Does your school have smth like this

CASSY

Counseling & Support Services for Youth

cassybayarea.org

maybe it's only california

Is there some help at your school, ask for help

i already have help to an extent, medication, therapy
doesnt help, i wish it did

 

[doll]

That's not what I meant. You shouldn't live for anyone but yourself because people aren't forever

you dont understand how i feel about him
i am obsessed, delusional, and anything you can think of (feel free to reed it all if you want to)

What Does It Mean When Someone With BPD Has a 'Favorite Person?'

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is marked by intense emotions and moods. Another notable sign is the favorite person relationship but is this healthy?

www.verywellmind.com

.
this is what i mean, quick summary
"While it’s normal to have a person that makes you happy with their presence and regular communication, a person with BPD views their favorite person (FP) as someone they cannot live without."

 

[litc]

you dont understand how i feel about him
i am obsessed, delusional, and anything you can think of (feel free to reed it all if you want to)

What Does It Mean When Someone With BPD Has a 'Favorite Person?'

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is marked by intense emotions and moods. Another notable sign is the favorite person relationship but is this healthy?

www.verywellmind.com

.
this is what i mean, quick summary
"While it’s normal to have a person that makes you happy with their presence and regular communication, a person with BPD views their favorite person (FP) as someone they cannot live without."

Ah ok

I read most of it I think

So continue liking him and make that list

Spoiler

really if you're going to therapy like you said that would help the most ofc

Can you keep a notebook? Of daily things you want to do better, to "be a better person", little goals, and write down what you did well as well

and bring this up to the therapist as well

and if they're not good see if you can switch

sorry I can't really help with more but I get the frustration

 

[athenaaa]

go on and say this and deny the reality
you know exactly who would miss you

I wrote that yesterday when my brain was being mean. Sorry.

 

[Tickita]

 

[Violanah]

My ra I hate how much stress I’m under. Idk how I’m gonna get through all of this

 

[dark_tranquility]

My mind is both a temple and a blackness of lies.

 

[doll]

becoming even more rude and violent as the minute passes
getting back what i deserve, getting back at everyone who treated me this way from my childhood.
but im also doing this to people who dont deserve it, whatever.