Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (6 Viewers)

[dark_tranquility]

so much pain in my brain

 

[cocomelon]

i feel guilty and attention seeking when i vent to someone

Spoiler

if youre reading this, let me assure you, you aren’t. you never were. especially to me and chae. in fact we were just so lucky that you could trust us with your words and we could have that level of connection for you to share your best and your darkest thoughts. if i could, i would listen to your rants all day. because youre a great friend to me, and theres nothing more i’d wanna do than to help you.

Spoiler: tw: suicide

this is the first time i’m writing out my true feelings like this. i hate living so much. i just wish i was never born. i didn’t choose to live so why do i have to live this disgusting life every single day? i hate my body. i hate being female. i wish i was born male. my life would be much happier. i hate all my female body parts and i just want to kill myself whenever i look in the mirror. i’m dealing with intrusive thoughts telling me to do the worst shit. i’m scared of asking for a therapist because i’m scared they’ll they’ll my parents everything. school is making me feel sick. i hate having to live the same life every single life. i hate myself and my life.

Spoiler

ed, im so glad you let it all out. its really strong of you. i know it is really hard being born in a desi or an asian one for that matter, considering how suffocating they can be on us. sometimes. no almost all the times i feel like i can not tell 99% of the things to my parents, because they’ll probably lash out at me. and that’s their fault. but can we change it? no, not right now. it must be so hard for you right now, to be able to be who you want to be. and i get that.

but my best advice for you would be that. you’ve come so far, youre such a brave and amazing person. and that you achieve loving yourself if you become an independent person. and for that you’ll have to go through some struggles. but after that, you’ll be finally able to love yourself and your own body.

i know it is tough. but keep taking breaks, don’t exhaust yourself and keep toxic people OUT of your life, and i am very serious about this, whether it is family friends or not just tell them to fuck off. cause they don’t deserve you. and yea, just think about what and who you’re struggling and working hard for 🤍

 

[dark_tranquility]

Not so easy being me.

 

[doll]

Spoiler

why do i have to love him ? he destroyed me beyond repair and i still stare at my phone hoping the notifications are from him.
but at the same time i want to shoot him , like i said i wanted to after we broke up .
but no no , i dont want him dead i want him here with me but he still doesnt love me
i changed myself for him , i did what he did , i listened to his music , i watched his shows
whatever hes not coming back

 

[tai]

Don't act surprised when it happens. You chose to ignore me and belittle me.

 

[noctis]

tw mentions of suicide

i love being happy
when i am i don't think abt anything negative
but when it all ends. i want to kms in the most gruesome way.
i am wasting happiness. someone else could take it and be happy for longer. why be happy when in the end i feel worthless and hopeless and i can't do anything to fix it.
and no one notices it?? i am not asking for much. pls just ask if i am ok. even if i say 'yes' and lie, i just want to know if u truly care.

 

[dark_tranquility]

the colours I see are getting worse.

 

[noctis]

too scared to kms but tired of living.

 

[cocomelon]

the dad side of my family. such cunts. can not wait for his demise lol 🫶🏼

 

[cocomelon]

the dad side of my family. such cunts. can not wait for his demise lol 🫶🏼

i will be so happy that day i will actually throw a party

 

[doll]

yea go ahead and mock my religion.
"maybe allah can help fix whats going on with your head"
so funny ha ha he he

 

[dark_tranquility]

Do not want to exp this again.

 

[doll]

Yeah, yeah, we got it.
God gave up on you.
Go on, tell me to pray
Go on, tell me to wash my sins away
You really just dont get it, do you?
Aye, I mean, I can't save you, I can't help you, I can't wish you will be any better than you were yesterday.
I can only wish you will stop insulting me and not run away. I did nothing wrong.
I have been nothing but kind to you, now you go out of nowhere, start being rude again, telling me to kill myself?
What in the world, Mija.

 

[dark_tranquility]

MENTAL health on and off better.

 

[noctis]

I want to cry so hard rn
My brain is so foggy , I can't think

 

[Day]

too scared to kms but tired of living.

I feel the same way. I'm so sorry life has turned out like this.

 

[noctis]

I feel the same way. I'm so sorry life has turned out like this.

Sorry to hear that

 

[noctis]

Sorry to hear that

And I'm okay just sudden episodes I am having rn

 

[Day]

Spoiler

Yesterday after speaking with an academic advisor I was notified that, after this semester, I only have five more classes to pass before I graduate with my Associate's degree. You'd think this would be great news, but I had a mental breakdown after I left. I really dropped out of school when I was SO CLOSE to graduating to pursue a job that didn't give a fuck about me. And what do I have to show for my 2.5 year break from school? Absolutely fucking nothing. All I've done is blow my money and waste time. I don't have anything to show for that time. I feel like there's no point to continue living like this. I don't know what I'm going to do when I do graduate so I think I'll wait another year to finish. I want to fucking die, why is it so hard? When is it my turn to be the victim of a freak accident? The friends around me have families and reasons to live and they're getting brain cancer and have only a month to live while another was hit and killed in a car accident. Is it so wrong to wish that were me? When will I take charge of my life and drive my car into a tree? The fear of trying to kill myself and failing is the only thing holding me back.

I feel immense pity for younger me. She was so head-strong and determined to be better. I lost her and I'm so sorry to have disappointed her by being such a fucking failure. Why couldn't I see my brilliance when I had it? Now I'm a former gifted kid burnt out with no future. Younger me, you did well. We made it to 22, but I don't want to be here anymore. This isn't fair.

 

[doll]

Spoiler: tw self harm (esp)

No tienes idea de lo que haría por ti, chico. vamos, vamos, envíame un mensaje de texto, ponme a prueba, me encanta hablar contigo, sé mucho sobre ti. No hagas recuerdos conmigo por los que miraré hacia atrás y lloraré. ven y ámame.
vamos, dame un tiempo para redimirme.
¿por favor?
cada vez que hablamos la dopamina inunda mis venas, estoy enamorado. Estoy enamorado de ti, y solo de ti. ven, ven a besarme.
Por favor, bésame.
eres como un día que se repite en el fondo de mi mente, tan feliz. pero estoy tan triste sin ti chico.
A veces no puedo evitar pensar cosas terribles sobre otras personas, pero nunca he tenido un pensamiento enfermizo sobre ti.
Mientras no demuestre que quieres arruinarme la cabeza, estaré bien.
Estoy constantemente feliz a tu lado, no me ahogo en mis propios pensamientos, no estoy esperando impacientemente para autolesionarme.
me pones a gusto, felicidad y culpa.
tal vez, si salimos. Te arruinaré como lo hice con todos los demás... ¿eh?
No estoy hecho para el amor, se nota.
Soy agresivo, grosero, impulsivo y, en general, una persona terrible.
Podría ser diferente cuando estoy contigo, soy diferente cuando estoy contigo.
Tengo que alejarme, lo sé, aunque ya estoy conectado.
Sé que no estoy destinado a estar contigo
pero no quiero estar siempre triste todo el tiempo
yo tambien quiero ser feliz
pero ¿solo te haré sentir terrible? porque mis episodios y arrebatos?
voy a.
por favor, no renuncies a nuestra amistad por ahora, no tienes idea de lo que está pasando en mi mente.
mi idolatría hacia ti, me vuelves loco.
si te vas, vete por un día, soy un psicótico.
Has traído una guerra a mi mente.
qué triste.