1. Unrealistic optimism, unrealistic expectations, no sense of planning or time, and excess energy, it's happy but it's stupid happy, it's risky happy, it's impulsive happy, it's no sense of danger, or anything happy, where I'd rather NOT be happy, but I genuinely am, there's a difference between being brave and being stupid, this is STUPID, this is not good, no I don't want to be happy, sometimes random spurts of inspiration here but my brain moves faster than I can get it down so I usually forget everything, other times my brain feels like it doesn't even work
2. intense stress and overwhelmed by everything and excess nervous energy
3. tired of everything and no motivation and lowkey frustration
4. intense frustration and anger for seemingly no reason and energy that I have to keep bottled up bc there is no reason to be mad and being mad and impulsive is never good
5. feeling useless and worthless and like a failure and mad at myself and low self-esteem
6. shame and anxiety and overthinking and not being able to do anything else except overthinking about something I impulsively did or said while in 1
7. hyper-focus where I feel like a robot with no personality and can do nothing except one thing even if I have to do something else I cannot stop
8. sense of panic and rushing everything unrealistically but with hyper-focus and not being able to do things