18+ ~Ranting and Venting~ New Rules Added. Just a tiny set (2 Viewers)

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I hate it when people compliment my body. And it's become so clear to me that if I didn't have a curvy body (even though I'm more shaped like a pear) no one would look my way. I've noticed that whenever my friends compliment me it's always because of my butt. Never my face or even my personality. I've been sexualized since a very young age. In school I was made FUN OF because of my butt and was constantly met with the gaze of creepy older men. I've been catcalled more times than I can count, and the only two times that boys bothered to approach me was because I was "thick". Looking back on it now I've been sexually assaulted by both boys and girls and one boy went so far as to sexually harass me everyday to the point where I felt so uncomfortable I changed classes. I've grown to hate when people compliment my body. It makes me feel like the only attractive thing about me is my butt. Yeah sure, in some classes I'm labeled the "smart kid"- yet all that got me was people using me. I honestly feel fucking worthless. Just some toy for people to gawk at or play around with and treat like shit.

And I bet my life that if I had no ass or tits half of this shit wouldn't have happened to me. I've become so paranoid and scared. I want to find love someday but I'm so afraid that the only thing that brought that person to me was my body and not my personality or face. And the worst part is that people think those compliments are something I should be proud of or feel beautiful about, but it isn't. I just feel like some damn sex doll.
 
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I saw an old ex-friend today while I was leaving my school, she said hi to me and then went back to her other friends, tbh I knew that me discontinuing a toxic friendship where I was constantly insecure about myself was the best choice for me. but I couldn't help but feel sad, it was almost like we weren't just the best of friends the year before, idk it made my heart hurt a little bit and made me a little insecure, for some reason. every time I see her I get the same feeling. and it kinda feels like I'm the only one hung up on it while shes forgot about me and moved on to her new friends. idk that was just my little rant :/
 
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Today, less than an hour ago, I saw a picture of a two year old who was murdered six months before I was born. Of course the picture was taken before he was murdered, but I digress. The picture contextualized the experience. The child looked happy, with so much left to offer the world, yet he was murdered. I have little tolerance, if any, for those who are bullies. I have less for those who hurt defenseless members of society. When it comes to the Elderly, the Disabled, and Children, my tolerance is in the negative column. It makes me sick when I hear about a child being abused and/or murdered no matter whom the perpetrator is (i.e. Parent, Stranger, teenager, etc.)... A lot of things are evil , but don't make me as ill as infanticide. Its almost as if I am being kicked in the stomach as I hear cases such as these. Bottom line: It really pisses me off.
 

taemkitten

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I hate that I feel violated in a way, because some random person had access to my Spotify and were playing completely random songs like it was their playlist? and it scares me, because what might they have access to now in my accounts (even though things aren't attached - how did they access my spotify?)

I just...feel upset by it in a really simple and weird way - like - making your own free Spotify (which is what mine is, it's not like it's premium even) is super simple and easy? Why not do it, why go through the trouble of using someone else's and making them feel intruded upon/violated?

And why is it even bothering me this much?
 
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I don't know why I am tyring to plan things like going to watch a nice movie together, when most of my friends don't even aswer
I should not be this angry, but they really fucked up my day
is it really hard to write that you don't wanna come cause you're busy or that you don't know yet
even if it's a lie
who cares, but I hate that I have to beg for a fucking answer

but when you need help you can write right, how interesting
 
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Edit - well that was a lot of stuff I did not mean to say.
 
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So, I was talking to this dude, (irl) and he commented on my features...
I was like ok and stated where I get them from... "Oh, thanks. I'm Korean..."

AND THIS BOY WENT OFF
Because his Uncle died in the Korean war...

like:
#1: I wasn't alive yet!
#2: I'M SORRY, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST BLAME ME FOR THAT!

Then I left...
He didn't follow me...
THIS DUDE GOT MY NUMBER AND STARTED SPAMMING:
"Killer Wh*re and Racist'
Like Dude, Chill

I ended up blocking him and never heard from him again.
THE END
 

Sory

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I dislike threads with usernames as a title. Just use pm guys :hmm:
 
D

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People always tell me that I talk like that because I'm hurt, but that honestly doesn't matter anymore. I say it because I also mean it, and people think they get to feel a way about what I say but the only one who actually does is me. I don't say things like that for no reason, after all. Now I imagine I met someone who feels the same, I know what not to say to them. I guess you can be similar to someone but also completely different. I think I'd be able to look at that person afterward if I said half the things he said. You should if you had the guts to beforehand? You know I have no expectations when it comes to anyone at all, what makes you think you're different? If you showed me how, I wouldn't have missed it because I'm not like you. To think you could act like that without any consequences, that's why it's always better to think before talking. Listen to listen, not listen to reply. I'm glad I didn't say anything I regret, I'm not someone who uses things that are important to people because I know how it feels. I don't need to lower myself to your level to make a point about what you did, I make that clear enough by being who I am. You feel bad, good you should. I'm not like the people you're around now, okay that's fair enough. You won't ever find someone who will listen or care as much as I did, that much I can guarantee. And if you do, they won't know when to tell you to treat people the way you'd like to be treated or friendships aren't one sided and you have to be considerate because you never know what someone is thinking or feeling. All once your own words too.

People are such disappointments.
 
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Stop calling people triggered because they don't agree with your fucking dumb opinions. Thank you.
 
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SeulPika

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Why the fuck couldn't SM of done the same level of promoting for Red Velvet during their North American tour? They literally did fuck all in promoting the girls the other month.
Time and time again RV are neglected despite being one of the biggest contributors to SM's profits on a yearly basis!
 
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Usually when someone is just genuinely being dumb and not thinking before they say. Also when people mess with someone i care about.
oof I dont ever think when I say somethings sometimes
 
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