Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (5 Viewers)

[Lisaluv]

I don’t really know how much longer I can remain strong. I hate speaking about how I feel because I don’t want to worry anyone, but the days are getting darker and darker for me. I’m genuinely miserable, and most importantly I’m tired. Tired of always feeling bad. I want to reach out for help, but I feel like no one would understand. I’m just tired of the same old feeling everyday.

 

[Jimimis]

Me, very obviously having a problem :

my family :

 

[Jimimis]

Just wanna talk about this

Spoiler: Massive eating disorder tw

I do this thing called “chew and spit” or c/s for short. It’s exactly what it sounds like. I chew up food and spit it out instead of swallowing. Like bulimia, but I’m not able to make myself throw up. So I’m stuck with spitting and purging through exercise. My whole day is always planned around food. When/what I will c/s, when I will spend yet another hour on the treadmill (usually 2 or 3 hours a day) . Every action is about food or my body, or accompanied by thoughts over it. I draw so I’ll be too busy to binge, or I’ll watch certain YouTubers because they’re skinny and I’ll be motivated to not eat.
my grades are falling behind during this virtual learning because I just turn off my camera and binge and binge and binge.
It’s disgusting. many bulimics hide bags of old vomit in their bedroom. Many anorexics hide rotting food. I on the other hand have bags of chewed up junk laying around until I can throw it out discreetly.
It sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? But c/s is my life and addiction. I can’t stop, and I don’t particularly want to. I love food. I love it so much, but because I’m so short I’m not able to eat the amount of a normal person. so instead I just think about it every second of the day. I can’t picture a me without my life revolving around this

 

[Tickita]

-

 

[Juniverse]

Spoiler

So there was this person that bullied me. Not gonna get into it but they're a very bad person. Do I have the right to be upset if my partner and my friends are friends with this person, even though they know what the person did to me? They said they don't want any drama, and I'm not trying to be controlling of any friendships people close to me have. I'm not going to try to force them to stay apart, but them purposefully seeking out a friendship with this person makes me feel like they don't care about what I went through.

 

[Tickita]

Spoiler

So there was this person that bullied me. Not gonna get into it but they're a very bad person. Do I have the right to be upset if my partner and my friends are friends with this person, even though they know what the person did to me? They said they don't want any drama, and I'm not trying to be controlling of any friendships people close to me have. I'm not going to try to force them to stay apart, but them purposefully seeking out a friendship with this person makes me feel like they don't care about what I went through.

Spoiler

I think your feelings are valid. Have you told them this, how it makes you feel?

 

[Juniverse]

Spoiler

I think your feelings are valid. Have you told them this, how it makes you feel?

Spoiler

I feel like if I do they'll just tell me to stop being dramatic or that it doesn't involve me.

 

[Tickita]

Spoiler

I feel like if I do they'll just tell me to stop being dramatic or that it doesn't involve me.

Spoiler

That's understandable. They may surprise you, though. Just a thought, not trying to get you to do anything.

 

[Jimimis]

do i actually like txt or are they just skinny enough to trigger my ed? who knows!

 

[Jimimis]

do i actually like txt or are they just skinny enough to trigger my ed? who knows!

JESUS CHRIST forget about txt, this stupid dream doxxing drama will actually kill me

 

[Tickita]

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[Lovely_Cornchips]

Spoiler

I legit hate myself if I'm being honest. It sucks that slight inconveniences feel like the end of the world for me and leave me feeling hollow and destroyed as everyone hates me. Like none of it matters and yet here I am feeling actual pain in my chest from it because I have shit-ass emotions that are too much to handle most of the time. Like I hate it so damn much it feels like I can't breathe like someone is actually choking me, and then I just can't stop crying.

I realized I'm dramatic-its not this unknown thing to me ok? I'm pretty self-aware about it. But it sucks that I can't even be chill with myself? Like even with me I'm this over-dramatic bitch who can't feel small things but I always have to feel big things....either that or feeling completely numb and indifferent. I hate that I basically have two sides and no happy medium with them. It's like I'm slowly suffocating under myself.

This is all rambles but at this point, I think I'm genuinely at a point where I'm done.

 

[Lisaluv]

Sometimes, I’m a bit uncertain about my future. I think about a lot of the situations I’ve been through in my life, and I question if I’m strong enough to deal with them forever. I tell myself I’ve lasted this long, but somewhere deep down, I’m loosing hope steadily. I feel foolish speaking about my feelings sometimes, but it’s better to speak up rather than be left unheard.

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

Honestly have to go to therapy and the most traumatizing thing that has happened recently that triggered my shit I feel like I can't even talk to with my therapist about...

 

[Tickita]

sigh

One day at a time.

 

[Tickita]

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[Tickita]

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[Tickita]

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[Juniverse]

Sometimes I wish I never met my friends and s/o

 

[Deleted member 74]

I always end up proving to people I'm not that good of a person, and I'm not saying this to be manipulative or garner pity. It's just true, and I'm working on it every day, to live a kind life and create a good environment for myself, whichever way I'm able to. I've always been someone who feels every moment, experience, emotion, form of communication and connection deeply and seriously, and I can't with people who don't, who I can't figure out and don't seem to care much about how life has gone, but somehow I feel like I should be the one to apologize. Then again, time isn't what defines anything but I still feel bad. I guess I'm just sorry for everything, and you should've never met me. Then again, it's possible you don't care as much as I do. I actually wish you won't. Just like with many people, I wish I would've filtered out the sincere parts of me because those are the ugliest and the parts people don't wish to see. If I could turn back time, I would've just been that version of me instead.