Lexi chan Ichiban
I'm tired of always being alone. I haven't had friends in over 10 years and the feeling of loneliness just keeps getting worse as each day goes on. Back then I didn't mind it as much, but now that I'm older it's getting worse and I realize that it's even harder to make new friends my age. I can't just easily go out in public and make new friends due to my anxiety issues that I'm still trying to work out. I've expressed to my mom and therapist how much it's getting to me. It's making me feel more depressed, but my mom doesn't seem to take as seriously as my therapist does. I've talked to my therapist about different ways to put myself out there to meet new people but it just feel like nothing will work out. I'm currently doing group therapy (and individual therapy) but it feels like being in a group isn't helping the loneliness, especially since most of the people in my group are older than me. I already hate it and don't even feel like trying with it anymore. It feels like no matter what I do to make friends, nothing works. The feeling of loneliness is starting to become overbearing and it makes me even more depressed. My depression is starting to get to the point where I'm not motivated to do anything and I have no interest in things that I actually enjoyed before. Each year I'm always reminded of how lonely I get on my birthday, new years, etc. I get reminded that I have no one to celebrate anything with. I'm getting sick of it. I just don't know what to do anymore.