I never posted here, never thought I would, never thought I would need to but I feel sad and don't know who to tell so Imma just leave it here, it feels like telling someone without bothering anyone at the same time.
a few days ago, a user was talking about their daughter and it made me super upset because they had such a close relationship and she had big dreams and could achieve them, it made me sad because I never have someone irl for me to be myself with, I only have my uncle and our relationship is really dead, I just hide everything including my true personality. I am homeschooled and dont get to go out so I cant make any friends. I wonder sometimes what type of person my uncle thinks I am because it would be so far from the reality. it hurts me that I have no one to share things with.
I find a meme or smth funny? its kept to myself
I find a cool interesting post? keep it to myself
I enjoy kpop- kept to myself
I enjoy Anime- kept to myself
All my online accounts - kept to myself
my music and favorite songs- kept to myself
my dreams- kept to myself
My want to try Singing/dancing- kept to myself
I really love horror- kept to myself
so many more things- kept to myself
I love plushies, I want affection/cuddles (not from him, he made it all weird now), I enjoy praise when I have accomplished smth nice, I want to watch Kpop vareity shows, I want to watch youtubers, I want to play games, I want to go outside and so much more
none of these things he knows about. how do u live with someone and know next to nothing about them? I remember watching through the window as our neighbours child came out to put her shoes on, she was about 2-3 and put on her own shoes, her father praised her so much and I cried, it made me so sad, why did she get so much praise for something so simple and I rarely did?
there are so many times I cry because I want to have irl friends, I want affection, I want someone to share things with, I want someone who lets me be me. no one online can ever understand me as well as an irl person and I won't get to have that person in my life for years.